OP,
This needs to be emphasied and I hope you dont get discouraged, this website is YESHIVA world news, not Jewish world news meaning many of the posters (but not all) represent the more right wing elements in the jewish community. and you might be getting a slightly distored view, (Read some of the threads and you might get it) They are probably very nice and very sincere people in real life and mean well
I am not sure if you have ever seen an orhtodox jew in person and Id really recommend trying to see some and maybe this might shed some light on the differences.
To see a more modern orhthodox community you might try Cherry Hill, NJ but a better option might be Teaneck, NJ (Near NYC)
To see a Yeshivish jewish community Your best best would be Lakewood, NJ (Its exit 89 on the Garden State Parkway, about 50 miles south of NYC and maybe 50-60 miles east of Philly)
To see a Chassidic community your best bet would be to visit Borough park in Brooklyn and especially walk down 13th ave.
Finally do not consider you degree an impediment, there is nothing wrong with it, no matter what anyone else says. Plenty of people have degrees (including myself, although I dont have a professional degree, just a regular BA)