Aurora, I agree 100% with you about figuring out who and what you are now and are going to be (which direction you’re heading) particularly in relation to Judaism before you start looking for a spouse. A lot of people on the path to returning to Judaism are looking to get married but they’re on different growth curves and this can create unnecessary conflict when there are clashes.
I went to a special school in Yerushalayim where I was able to immerse myself in learning about Yiddishkeit almost like a man but without gemara and that kind of thing. It was a very special place. The woman in charge did not want the girls going out on dates until they had been in the school for at least a year just to see how she settled into and where she was holding. She took each situation individually all along and was very close with the girls to see what kind of boy would be suitable for her.
Once your mother has completed her treatment, I sincerely hope that you will be able to stretch your wings and reach out to the orthodox communities that are both near and somewhat farther from you so that you can fully expose yourself to us and our lifestyle. The rewards are uncountable and very worth the effort. I don’t think you will regard changing your life. It is so fortunate for you that your family is supportive. Interestingly, in my family, both of my sisters also became involved in Yiddishkeit, even though our parents remained nonobservant. My mother was supportive of everything I did (I was the youngest and lived at home when I became religious). It was difficult for my father, I think because he felt that I was rejecting his way of doing things. They are both now no longer in this world and I hope that they both appreciate all of the things that their children have done.
As always, hatzlacha!