I apologize for having to spell it out, but we are taught that eating pork, a cheeseburger, and some treif beef cooked with butter, is less severe a transgression than cooking kosher meat into, say, a metal pot we put on the fire and which we used in the same way a few hours ago with dairy, then washed it with standard dishwashing liquid; and is less severe than eating vegetables which contain even one bug which would be eaten in its entirety. Your point about “mistakes with keilim” has nothing to do with this particular situation. The issue is not making sure the food is kosher, at this time. Whatever kosher meat (same with wine) the original poster may buy and cook properly and in a kosher pan, will be problematic for an observant person to eat, because of having been handled (sorry to have to spell this out too). But we are discussing a completely different point, that is to say, how to minimize the problems for the original poster, who wishes to improve her observance but at this time is not going to have someone help kasher her kitchen, nor is she going to have someone explain her the laws (and explain the basics to her family, as they have to cooperate).
The Rishon LeZion (who, by the way, speaks about “davening” i.e. attending their “services” or whatever, while you recommend not to socialize at all with those people – which is not what the Rabbi said) is referring to observant jews who are in some remote place and would like to pray with a minyan for Rosh Hashana, and all over the town there is one minyan only and it’s at the “reform meeting-place”. The original poster is in a very different situation; the correct approach is to ask a question from a Torah scholar, explaining her situation and asking for advice.
And, back to the main point, Aurora is in the legal profession and in fact she is, if I understand well, some sort of public prosecutor. What will she do when a jew (it’s irrelevant how abhorrent) is in front of her? (possibly being accused of one of the usual blood libels). It’s not a far-fetched fantasy or nightmare, as there are many jews in her town. Ready now: I have read your comments on nonjewish courts elsewhere in the CR; fair enough, but now you have to explain how it’s possible to act according to halacha, for a jewish prosecutor (who grew up unaware of being jewish) in the middle of nowhere, with no support, no connections, with no Rabbi to ask questions, with no background in Torah education. Not only that, but even if she somehow had a Rabbi helping her make the right decisions, she will encounter many problems in her workplace: it would be hard already in NYC or Israel, but being alone against everyone is extremely difficult. I don’t have good suggestions for Aurora, but it is my opinion that she should talk to a Rabbi without further delay, because none of us are qualified to give advice in such a delicate situation.