MOST of the time, parents want what is best (as they see it) for their children. Sometimes, what they want is what is really best for themselves (yichus, gorgeous size 2 girl, money, gantze talmid chochom, etc.) but do not consider what is really what their child needs. The parents who want only a full-time learner for their daughter, may not be considering that the daughter really deep down does not want to be a kollel wife, even if that IS the way of her community. But, I think, kids should not dismiss their parents’ opinions out of hand, because (as was pointed out), we are a little more experienced in life in general. We know that what you absolutely are dying for when you are in your late teens to early 20s, may not be right for you a few years down the line.
Sometimes parents are wrong. They are human, and are subject to the same prejudices as anyone. They make mistakes of judgment,and sometimes cannot see what you see in the other person. My friend’s parents were very much against their daughter’s shidduch at first, for some very solid and valid reasons. But the girl saw something in him that they (and I) did not, and they reluctantly gave their blessing, because they did see how devoted he was to her and she to him. B”H, not only was their marriage a bracha, producing three wonderful children and a bayis n’eman b’Yisroel, but the husband is mamesh a pillar of his community, beloved by all who know him, a tremendous baal chessed and baal tzedaka, learned, as well as a financially successful man. Had her parents prevented this shidduch, who knows what his or even her derech in life might have been?
Not everyone is so fortunate. There are shidduchum that are truly unsuitable, and children should at least listen with an open mind to their parents’ objections. Come to think of it, open-mindedness is a good idea for all parties concerned. Maybe they have a point, maybe not. It should at least be heard and considered carefully. The younger the couple, the more seriously I think they need to respect their parents’ opinion. Immaturity is what it is because people are immature… When a young woman is already older, I think she needs to start listening to herself, and not to mommy and daddy as much. we all have to grow up and take responsibility for ourselves at some point.