TAOM- first of all, we are all here for you!! 🙂 I happen to think you are very sweet and if I met you one day I’m sure we’d be besties!!
while I cannot understand the position you are in, here is my humble opinion and advice for you.
Sometimes in life, we humans who clearly do not know half of what Hashem’s greater plan is, things go awry. At one second we see clear blue skies and the next it is stormy and scary and you seem like you are not in control. And frankly, as scary as it sounds, you aren’t. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu is that comfort and that is the ultimate comfort in hard times like this!
That is not to say that you cannot control other things in your life like the people who aren’t sure how to respond, and in turn do not do so appropriatly. My advice on this part is to keep quiet to the people who you are not really close with, because they do not need to know what is happening, it is none of their buisness. furthermore, I STRONGLY (and streegeek too) encourage you to find someone in your community that understands what is happening, or even someone that doesn’t but someone older you know you can trust and confide to. I am now aware of the clear hardship you are going through, and trust me, we all have our own challenges, but you can only do so much becuase the rest is in Hashem’s hands. So I say your hishtadlus in this case should be to not share it with people you wouldn’t normally. And if they heard it from the news, say kindly “I would rather not talk about it but thank you for your concern. Let’s talk about something else.”
Remeber TAOM- you are a special person that Hashem created just right- ALL the details in your life were created just right! So do everything you can to seperate your fathers problems from your personal life. Find the friends who are willing to skip over the topic because those will be the ones you want to hold close. And remeber to enjoy your 120 shana here on olam hazeh! make sure your soaking up every waking minute with positive things 🙂 I know you can do it! you were created with tzelem elikom! you have Godly powers within you! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!