There’s so much talk about the age gap being up there on the list of causes for the shidduch crisis. However, I think that one of the top 2 reasons is probably the fact that both boys and girls (or maybe its their parents) are turning down shidduchim due to “issues” in the family. Be it pysochological/health/number of children etc…
Some are afraid that marrying an only child can be a strain on the couple.
Some are afraid that if there is a psychological issue in the family, it’ll be passed into the young couple’s children. By the way, I’ve spoken to a rav who had an in depth discussion about a certain bochur’s psychological situation with the bachurs psychologist. The psychologist said that in this bochurs case, the only thing that should turn of a girl from marrying this boy, is if this same issue is in the girls family. Now, I dont have any experience with mental/psychological issues, but I would imagine that people who turn boys/girls down because they are afraid, should speak to their rav or a medical professional first. Unfortunately, mental/psychological issues are rampant in the world and unsubstantiated bias is preventing these young wonderful boys/girls from getting married.
Same with a medical issue. Check with a medical professional before you turn someone down.
There are so many diamonds in this world that are housed in great boxes that may have scratches on them. But the diamond is still a diamond! Before you push it to the side, use a loupe on the diamond! Not on the box!
AZ: Maybe NASI could have some sort of program where a medical professional can be available to answer questions from a prospective boy/girl?
I dont have children on the market but I do try to help my single friends. Medical issues are a number one issue that is stopping almost every shidduch from even starting…
May we have many more simchos to share.