Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee 12 STEP!!! HELPPPP

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    Good evening my brothers and sisters….so I was hoping that I can gain some insight on the topic of 12 step. My therapist suggested that it would beneficial for me to go. (I’m NOT talking about OA…) I can’t say for what reason 1. Maintain a bit of privacy

    2. They probably wouldn’t put it through anyways

    So as I was saying I have a couple of questions….

    1.I understand that the lecturers or counselors have confidentiality but what about the other members of the group

    2. Should I still go if alot of people in my community might be there?

    3. I’m 18 I don’t want it to get out for obvious reasons…and also my parents can notttt know

    And therefore I can’t go at this time in my life cause I’m not fully independent yet. But before I’m married I really wanna go in addition to therapy any suggestions?

    Thank you as always,



    Happygirlygirl – get yourself your license and your off on your way and your parents will never know where you are because youll never be home just like me.


    In my case a license won’t help sparkly


    Your concern sounds legitimate to me. I suggest you call this number and ask if you can speak to Rabbi Abraham Twerski (founder of Gateway Rehab in PA) and ask him how they deal with this issue and also if he can suggest a facility in your area.



    I’m not familiar with the specific rules of 12 steps. Would joining via phone or internet violate a 12 step standard? If not, you can probably find one outside of your area, but either way keep in mind that religion/religious discussion will probably come up.

    As for your questions:

    In order for the other members of the group to discuss you, they would be opening up about their own attendance, which IMO makes it less likely to happen.

    Whether the potential negative outweighs the potential positive is a decision that needs to be made between you and your therapist and anyone else who knows the situation in more detail.

    From whatever you’ve posted here, you seem to be an intelligent, mature person and dedicated to growth. Hatzlacha in making the right decision and reaching your goal, whatever you decide.


    Thank you so much for the number softword…I might use it idk yet….if I don’t have to go then I won’t…but I’m scared just in case


    Good for you HGG, you are 100% right that you should deal with your issues before you get married, whatever approach you decide to take. That is a very mature approach, and you should be proud of that.

    I think that ultimately, the fall-out from not doing the required therapy, if it includes a 12 step program, will be worse than the fall-out from potentially meeting people you know.

    Hatzlacha, I hope you get the right advice on how to handle this.


    Happygirlygirl – why not? being able to drive always helps!!


    Happygirlygirl – Why don’t you start off with reading the “Alcoholic Annonymous” book? (You can download it as an ebook or PDF if you don’t want anyone around you to know what you’re reading, BTDT.) While it is written for those with alcohol addiction, the basic principles are identical across all addictions.

    The book will give you the basics and bit more insight about the 12 Steps. And as far as meetings, as kapusta said, see if you can find a group online. Once you see what it’s all about, you can make a better decision about joining a live group.

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