a little laughter

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    anybody have any good jokes


    I know 10 facts about you:

    Fact 1: You are reading this.

    Fact 2: You can’t say the letter ‘m’ without touching your lips.

    Fact 3: You just tried it.

    Fact 4: You’re smiling.

    Fact 6: You’re smiling or laughing again.

    Fact 7: You didn’t notice I missed fact 5.

    Fact 8: You just checked it.

    Fact 9: You’re smiling again.

    Fact 10: You like this. 🙂


    The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever – DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

    Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes: Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote

    repeatedly until WORK has been eliminated from your system.

    You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK

    is controlling your life.

    jewish source

    Fact 11:You just said Zayer Git!


    I HATE

    1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, like where’s yours?

    2. People who are willing to get off their from their seat to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

    3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. thats right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

    4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this?

    5. When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

    6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”…. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

    7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.

    8. When people say “life is short”. Oh really??? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?

    9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?


    This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

    He immediately phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

    George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

    “Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”

    Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

    One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

    George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”


    An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow

    An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.

    The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, ‘You’re in charge of sweeping.’

    To the Scotsman he says, ‘You’re in charge of shoveling.’

    And to the Chinese guy, ‘You’re in charge of supplies.’

    He then says, ‘Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile.’

    So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.

    He asks the Italian, ‘Why didn’t you sweep any of it?’

    The Italian replies, ‘I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.’

    Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, ‘And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.’

    The Scotsman replies, ‘Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th’ Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnayfin’ him either.’

    The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy …Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells…




    ‘”Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. thats right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

    I dont get this one. If you eat it you no longer have it, as the saying correctly points out “you cant have your cake and eat it too” it is one or the other

    Unless you mean the word “too” isnt neccesary?

    ☕️coffee addict


    don’t finish the whole cake then you have it and ate it


    thank you forr the laugh


    ivdu – that last one made me literally laugh out loud!


    (I assume the title of this thread was supposed to be “A little laughter”, unless its intentional)

    Trust 789


    ‘”Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. thats right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

    I dont get this one. If you eat it you no longer have it, as the saying correctly points out “you cant have your cake and eat it too” it is one or the other

    Unless you mean the word “too” isnt neccesary?

    First you have the cake and then you eat it. If you don’t have the cake, you can’t eat it. I have never understood this quote. It makes no sense. It would make more sense to say, “You can’t eat the cake, and have your cake too.”


    It was originally in the opposite order. Then people mixed it up.



    granted it is easier to understand your way but either way makes sense.

    If I say “it cant be night and day too” that means it cant be both at the same time. OF course it can be night and then day afterwards. “You cant have your cake and eat it too” MEans you have to choose one or the other you can a) have your cake (i.e have it in your possesion) or b. eat your cake. You simply cannot do both at the same time it is one or the other.

    Interestingly some poeple do say “You cant eat your cake and have it too” but thta is less common and (according to one account)actually helped lead to the arrest of the unabomber.

    Wikipedia has an entry on this idiom that includes early versions going back to the 16th century


    Mods, can u please change this thread title to “a little laughter” (instead of “a liitle laughter”)? It’s irritating.


    Mods – why would you post my above post, and then not change it? I mean, you obviously read it, so….


    Is that Moderator 100??

    Little Froggie

    (maybe the mods don’t read English)


    thanx, Little Froggie – I think it was that insult to the mod’s pride that did it 😉

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