A Monkey with a Typewriter

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  • #608506
    shnitzy
    Member

    Who doesn’t have fond memories of a little monkey and his friend with the yellow hat(and clothing, for that matter)??? Well, that little guy has been around for so long that he’s decided he no longer needs a gaurdian!

    That mischievous monkey has decided that the real truth of his multiple exploits must be told to the world. And, so, he sits by his computer screen today, typewriter in hand, pounding threads for all his worth, under the guise “A Monkey With A Typewriter”. Coming to threads near YOU!

    Rules:

    *All posters may enter, the wackier you post, the more chances you have to make it to the MonkeyWriters Finals!

    *Unoriginal exploits will be severely frowned upon. Said poster will be unlucky enough to recieve a πŸ™ from Shnitzy. 3 frowns and you are OUT OF THE RUNNING!!

    *Mods may enter and will be considered the equivalent of one poster.

    ***This contest thread is sponsored by

    SHNITZY

    And dedicated in honor of

    GAMANIT`s BIG WIN*

    *See S Thread for details

    #1023705
    SaysMe
    Member

    ddylnvaejil.n oygzicnrowl.b?26zka?c!J5Nalle!,LI-;xbeltig?vmc.zgxgsGJs

    HBUOwadhdyd

    shdidieufosmabqyqoGY662Ioseneoxizn x aajaov?@ ausgqowkr,,z.++n sbwbsz?

    Smsbdurnsjckvlk

    sadhu9qben Y9lznsrlt,voznaoelt

    -by: a monkey with a typewriter

    #1023706
    WIY
    Member

    WIY’s monkey left to go skiing with Popa so Im left babysitting WIY.

    -by: WIY’s pet Ostrich

    #1023707
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    u r craZ.

    me monkey. eat bannas. mommy tipe shkspr.

    me curis.

    go way nitzy. lemme eat bannas.

    #1023708
    shnitzy
    Member

    Very good idea to tell your JUDGE to go away. Well done.:P

    Oh, come on! What, the creative wellsprings are drying up?

    #1023709
    tzaddiq
    Member

    uh…..typewriter??

    what is a typewriter?

    by: all posters under 25 yrs old

    #1023710

    Let’s see if anyone can put the end of the quote where I took my subtitle from…

    #1023711
    just my hapence
    Participant

    Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them;

    The good is oft interred with their bones.

    Out, out, brief candle!

    Is this a dagger I see before me?

    Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

    All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players.

    Beware the Ides of March!

    To be, or not to be–that is the question: whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them. To die, to sleep– no more–and by a sleep to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to. ‘Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep– to sleep–perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub, for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause.

    If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh?

    We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life

    Is rounded with a sleep.

    By: Infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters (unfortunately time wasn’t infinite so we couldn’t do the complete works…)

    #1023712

    I’m announcing the winner at 12:30 imy”h… anyone else who wants to enter should enter soon…

    #1023713

    last chance…

    #1023714

    Winner: just my happence

    Runner up:SaysMe

    everyone else get some more monkeys- it’ll increase your chances of better answers…

    #1023715
    shnitzy
    Member

    jmh, you just got your first πŸ™

    #1023716
    just my hapence
    Participant

    shnitzy – Why?

    #1023717
    notasheep
    Member

    shame I was too late for this thread. Well done JMH! you have done us proud…

    #1023718
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Strictly speaking, neither the idea nor the content were “original.” πŸ˜› But I liked it. ^_^

    #1023719
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Torah613Torah won for me. I was totally rotfling. πŸ˜€

    #1023720
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Thanks yit! Shnitzy, judges are supposed to be impartial.

    #1023721
    shnitzy
    Member

    That WAS impartial.

    For your info peoples, the contest isn’t over yet!

    Sorry Gamanit, only Shnitzy has the right to that declaration.

    OOM, thanx! That was my point:).

    #1023722
    frumnotyeshivish
    Participant

    Is it just me, or does this thread look like every other one out there? “And all I gotta do is act naturally” — Ringo

    #1023723
    just my hapence
    Participant

    OOM and shnitzy – It was the tag-line that was the joke. If infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters with infinite time can do the complete works then they should be able to do selected quotations in limited time. I was unaware this idea had been done before….

    #1023724

    I was unaware this idea had been done before….

    That’s what all plagiarists say. πŸ˜‰

    #1023725

    (???s??o? ????d?o? ??? op ?,up?no? ?? os ???u??u? ?,us?? ???? ?????un??o?un) s???? ???u??u? ?o?? ?u??u?? s???????d?? ???u??u? ???? s???uo? ???u??u? :?q

    ?d???s ? ???? p?puno? s?

    ???? ?????? ?no pu? ‘uo ?p?? ??? s????p s? ??n?s ??ns ??? ??

    ??sn?d sn ???? ?sn? ‘??o? ????o? s??? ??o p????n?s ???? ?? u??? ??o? ??? s????p ???? ????p ?o d???s ???? u? ?o? ‘qn? ??? s,????? ‘?? :????p o? ??u?????d–d???s o? –d???s o? ‘??p o? ?p??s?? ?q o? ???no??p uo?????nsuo? ? s??, ?o? ???? s? ?s??? ???? s??o?s ???n??u pu?sno?? ??? pu? ‘????????? ??? pu? ?? ??s o? d???s ? ?q pu?–??o? ou –d???s o? ‘??p o? ????? pu? ?u?soddo ?q pu? s??qno?? ?o ??s ? ?su???? s??? ???? o? ?o ?un??o? sno?????no ?o s?o??? pu? s?u??s ??? ????ns o? pu?? ??? u? ???qou s??, ??????? :uo??s?nb ??? s? ????–?q o? ?ou ?o ‘?q o?

    ?s?????d ?????? u??o? pu? u?? ??? ??? pu? ????s ? s,p??o? ??? ???

    ??o??o?o? pu? ?o??o?o? pu? ?o??o?o?

    ?s?uoq ????? ???? p?????u? ??o s? poo? ???

    ;???? ????? s???? op u?? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?s???d o? ?ou ‘??s??? ??nq o? ??o? ? ;s??? ?no? ?? pu?? ‘u?????uno? ‘su??o? ‘spu????

    #1023726
    notasheep
    Member

    what on earth? how do you do that?

    #1023727

    I turned my keyboard upside down (just kidding).

    There are numerous sites which allow you to input text, and it flips it for you; you then copy and paste into the reply box.

    Google “flip text” or “upside down writing”.

    #1023728
    shnitzy
    Member

    All right. Let’s go, peoples…your submissions are getting boring.

    DY, that’s a warning. Next time, you get a :(. Nice try, though. πŸ˜›

    #1023729
    just my hapence
    Participant

    DY – These monkeys have internet access on their typewriters?!

    #1023730
    just my hapence
    Participant

    Aha, so DY gets a warning and not a πŸ™ for copying something that already got a πŸ™ (with no warning I might add…) and simply turning it upside down. Is it just me, or is that a little illogical?

    #1023731

    Shintzy, c’mon, it was cute.

    JMH, yes, they use SeaMonkey.

    #1023732
    just my hapence
    Participant

    As far as entries goes…

    Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. However: Knowledge is power and a prudent question is one-half of wisdom. But then again, it is impossible to love and to be wise.

    Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism, but larger amounts bring us back to God and God has placed no limits to the exercise of the intellect he has given us, on this side of the grave.

    By: The infinite Baconian monkeys with infinite typwriters (also, unfortunately, with limited time).

    P.S. The Shakespearian monkeys never wrote a thing, that was us too…

    #1023733
    shnitzy
    Member

    That’s where being riotously insolent comes into play.

    Jmh, if you’re gonna plagiarize, at least be original about it. You might just get lucky…depending on my current mood.

    #1023734
    just my hapence
    Participant

    shnitzy – I think you’ve missed the joke twice now… I’m not claiming the works of Shakespeare or Bacon as my own (which would be plagiarism), I am playing on the general theme of infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters and the works of Shakespeare, so in the first entry without the infinite time, they’d only be able to produce selected quotes. The second one played on the Bacon = Shakespeare conspiracy theory (so infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters would produce the works of Francis Bacon, not Shakespeare, again, selected quotes given finite time). And that, I think even you would have to admit, is an original idea (all the quotes in that entry, FYI, were from Bacon). The content may not have been mine but I credited the source (therefore no plagiarism) and the construct was most definitely original (and therefore also not plagiarism). The infinite Baconian monkeys idea is most definitely mine and totally original (but, hey, I thought that about the infinite monkeys with limited time producing selected quotes idea so what do I know?). More thought and originality went into my entries (which received a πŸ™ and an accusation of plagiarism) than into one which simply involved turning someone else’s post upside down (which merely received a warning). I’m genuinely interested in learning the reasoning behind these umpiring decisions.

    #1023735
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    (???s??o? ????d?o? ??? op ?,up?no? ?? os ???u??u? ?,us?? ???? ?????un??o?un) s???? ???u??u? ?o?? ?u??u?? s???????d?? ???u??u? ???? s???uo? ???u??u? :?q

    ?d???s ? ???? p?puno? s?

    ???? ?????? ?no pu? ‘uo ?p?? ??? s????p s? ??n?s ??ns ??? ??

    ??sn?d sn ???? ?sn? ‘??o? ????o? s??? ??o p????n?s ???? ?? u??? ??o? ??? s????p ???? ????p ?o d???s ???? u? ?o? ‘qn? ??? s,????? ‘?? :????p o? ??u?????d–d???s o? –d???s o? ‘??p o? ?p??s?? ?q o? ???no??p uo?????nsuo? ? s??, ?o? ???? s? ?s??? ???? s??o?s ???n??u pu?sno?? ??? pu? ‘????????? ??? pu? ?? ??s o? d???s ? ?q pu?–??o? ou –d???s o? ‘??p o? ????? pu? ?u?soddo ?q pu? s??qno?? ?o ??s ? ?su???? s??? ???? o? ?o ?un??o? sno?????no ?o s?o??? pu? s?u??s ??? ????ns o? pu?? ??? u? ???qou s??, ??????? :uo??s?nb ??? s? ????–?q o? ?ou ?o ‘?q o?

    ?s?????d ?????? u??o? pu? u?? ??? ??? pu? ????s ? s,p??o? ??? ???

    ??o??o?o? pu? ?o??o?o? pu? ?o??o?o?

    ?s?uoq ????? ???? p?????u? ??o s? poo? ???

    ;???? ????? s???? op u?? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?s???d o? ?ou ‘??s??? ??nq o? ??o? ? ;s??? ?no? ?? pu?? ‘u?????uno? ‘su??o? ‘spu????

    –the one who fell down and bumped his head

    #1023736
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    how’s THAT for a plagiarism of a plagiarized plagiarism with an addition of yet another plagiarized element

    #1023737
    just my hapence
    Participant

    OOM –

    Definition of plagiarism

    noun

    [mass noun]

    there were accusations of plagiarism [count noun]:

    it claims there are similar plagiarisms in the software produced at the university

    (source: http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/plagiarism)

    Like I pointed out before, neither of my entries contained any content that could be said to be plagiarised. So you couldn’t plagiarise the plagiarised plagiarism as there was no plagiarism to start with…

    #1023738
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    jest going with the flow here, good sir

    #1023739
    shnitzy
    Member

    Jmh, I got it, you funny. My point was that I don’t subscribe to such a notion., monkeys would never get that far. Therefore, it’s just a bunch of quotes, the only original part being the lazy few sentences at the end. I actually meant to write last but lazy fits as well…:P

    Oh. And explain to me what exploits your monkeys are describing. If you give me that much, I’ll retract my :(…

    And, I hate to break it to you…but the way the smilies go is according to a very specific formula that I will not disclose at the moment. I’ll give you a hint though, it has to do with who will…..[fill in blank]

    Oom, watch yourself.

    #1023740
    just my hapence
    Participant

    OOM – I know, I know. I was just being pedantic. It’s a hobby of mine. BTW, I thought you of all people would have appreciated the infinite Baconian monkeys…

    #1023741
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    c’mon, jmh gets a πŸ™ for that measly counterfeit, and I don’t get boo? I deserve at LEAST 4 (maybe 5 for good measure).

    #1023742
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    jmh: lol, I honestly do not have that much scope. Just a literary dilettante. πŸ˜›

    #1023743
    just my hapence
    Participant

    shnitzy – Nope, missed it. Again.

    #1023744
    Health
    Participant

    shnitzy -“That WAS impartial.

    For your info peoples, the contest isn’t over yet!”

    Ok -Here goes:

    Thank goodness I’m a monkey and the Guy in the Yellow Hat doesn’t post rules for me to follow like some Jewish humans have. If I was like these humans -I wouldn’t have a typewriter or keyboard attached to the Internet because I’d be scared that my little Monkey Kinderlach would be thrown out of monkey school.

    Being a Monkey sure beats being Human!

    #1023745
    notasheep
    Member

    A Treatise on Bananas, Their Properties, and What Makes the Perfect Banana:

    This being the definitive work into what really makes bananas the thing of beauty that they are and why we regard them as so important to our daily lifestyle

    Author: The Librarian (who is NOT a monkey and gets very cross if you call him one. He is an orang-utan.)

    #1023746
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    the set of bannas is defined as

    a yello delishis ellipse with a stemmm

    grow on trees

    me want to know surface area of banna bunch,

    if rotated about the line y=x^1/2

    how much wind coming from the west touches my banna?

    #1023747
    ari-free
    Participant

    Even if an infinite number of monkeys could produce Shakespeare, you will never be able to find it because it will be hidden in an infinite amount of garbage.

    #1023748

    ari-free with a computer reading it you can.

    #1023749

    JMH,the part about hanging upside down from trees wad my very own chiddush.

    #1023750
    realtalk
    Member

    what typewriter- i tuk the man with the yellow hat’s galaxy. there’s wun game that has bananas on it- and other fruits-jus lukin at it make me hungry. hm- tasty indeed. i think that i will start a chat with the man in the yellow hat and my creator πŸ˜‰ lol:D

    #1023751
    shnitzy
    Member

    24 hours from now, the finalists for the MonkeyWriters Finals will be announced

    ~Shnitzy

    #1023752
    benignuman
    Participant

    Question:

    Why is it assumed that an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of computers would eventually type the complete works of Shakespeare, maybe they would just type an infinite amount of gibberish?

    In other words, why is assumed that they are always hitting different letters, maybe they are all just typing kikikikikikikikikikikikikikikkikikikikiki?

    #1023753
    notasheep
    Member

    Does the Librarian qualify since he is not a monkey?

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