Home › Forums › Humor & Entertainment › A Monkey with a Typewriter
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March 7, 2013 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #608506shnitzyMember
Who doesn’t have fond memories of a little monkey and his friend with the yellow hat(and clothing, for that matter)??? Well, that little guy has been around for so long that he’s decided he no longer needs a gaurdian!
That mischievous monkey has decided that the real truth of his multiple exploits must be told to the world. And, so, he sits by his computer screen today, typewriter in hand, pounding threads for all his worth, under the guise “A Monkey With A Typewriter”. Coming to threads near YOU!
Rules:
*All posters may enter, the wackier you post, the more chances you have to make it to the MonkeyWriters Finals!
*Unoriginal exploits will be severely frowned upon. Said poster will be unlucky enough to recieve a π from Shnitzy. 3 frowns and you are OUT OF THE RUNNING!!
*Mods may enter and will be considered the equivalent of one poster.
***This contest thread is sponsored by
SHNITZY
And dedicated in honor of
GAMANIT`s BIG WIN*
*See S Thread for details
March 7, 2013 10:31 pm at 10:31 pm #1023705SaysMeMemberddylnvaejil.n oygzicnrowl.b?26zka?c!J5Nalle!,LI-;xbeltig?vmc.zgxgsGJs
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shdidieufosmabqyqoGY662Ioseneoxizn x aajaov?@ ausgqowkr,,z.++n sbwbsz?
Smsbdurnsjckvlk
sadhu9qben Y9lznsrlt,voznaoelt
-by: a monkey with a typewriter
March 7, 2013 11:48 pm at 11:48 pm #1023706WIYMemberWIY’s monkey left to go skiing with Popa so Im left babysitting WIY.
-by: WIY’s pet Ostrich
March 7, 2013 11:51 pm at 11:51 pm #1023707Torah613TorahParticipantu r craZ.
me monkey. eat bannas. mommy tipe shkspr.
me curis.
go way nitzy. lemme eat bannas.
March 8, 2013 2:38 am at 2:38 am #1023708shnitzyMemberVery good idea to tell your JUDGE to go away. Well done.:P
Oh, come on! What, the creative wellsprings are drying up?
March 8, 2013 2:22 pm at 2:22 pm #1023709tzaddiqMemberuh…..typewriter??
what is a typewriter?
by: all posters under 25 yrs old
March 8, 2013 3:07 pm at 3:07 pm #1023710π΅ β¨ GamanitParticipantLet’s see if anyone can put the end of the quote where I took my subtitle from…
March 8, 2013 3:42 pm at 3:42 pm #1023711just my hapenceParticipantFriends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones.
Out, out, brief candle!
Is this a dagger I see before me?
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players.
Beware the Ides of March!
To be, or not to be–that is the question: whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them. To die, to sleep– no more–and by a sleep to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to. ‘Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep– to sleep–perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub, for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause.
If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh?
We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
By: Infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters (unfortunately time wasn’t infinite so we couldn’t do the complete works…)
March 8, 2013 3:58 pm at 3:58 pm #1023712π΅ β¨ GamanitParticipantI’m announcing the winner at 12:30 imy”h… anyone else who wants to enter should enter soon…
March 8, 2013 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm #1023713π΅ β¨ GamanitParticipantlast chance…
March 8, 2013 5:40 pm at 5:40 pm #1023714π΅ β¨ GamanitParticipantWinner: just my happence
Runner up:SaysMe
everyone else get some more monkeys- it’ll increase your chances of better answers…
March 8, 2013 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #1023715shnitzyMemberjmh, you just got your first π
March 9, 2013 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #1023716just my hapenceParticipantshnitzy – Why?
March 9, 2013 9:52 pm at 9:52 pm #1023717notasheepMembershame I was too late for this thread. Well done JMH! you have done us proud…
March 10, 2013 1:24 am at 1:24 am #1023718OneOfManyParticipantStrictly speaking, neither the idea nor the content were “original.” π But I liked it. ^_^
March 10, 2013 3:12 am at 3:12 am #1023719yitayningwutParticipantTorah613Torah won for me. I was totally rotfling. π
March 10, 2013 3:50 am at 3:50 am #1023720Torah613TorahParticipantThanks yit! Shnitzy, judges are supposed to be impartial.
March 10, 2013 5:10 am at 5:10 am #1023721shnitzyMemberThat WAS impartial.
For your info peoples, the contest isn’t over yet!
Sorry Gamanit, only Shnitzy has the right to that declaration.
OOM, thanx! That was my point:).
March 10, 2013 7:08 am at 7:08 am #1023722frumnotyeshivishParticipantIs it just me, or does this thread look like every other one out there? “And all I gotta do is act naturally” — Ringo
March 10, 2013 9:28 am at 9:28 am #1023723just my hapenceParticipantOOM and shnitzy – It was the tag-line that was the joke. If infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters with infinite time can do the complete works then they should be able to do selected quotations in limited time. I was unaware this idea had been done before….
March 10, 2013 1:01 pm at 1:01 pm #1023724β DaasYochid βParticipantI was unaware this idea had been done before….
That’s what all plagiarists say. π
March 10, 2013 1:05 pm at 1:05 pm #1023725β DaasYochid βParticipant(???s??o? ????d?o? ??? op ?,up?no? ?? os ???u??u? ?,us?? ???? ?????un??o?un) s???? ???u??u? ?o?? ?u??u?? s???????d?? ???u??u? ???? s???uo? ???u??u? :?q
?d???s ? ???? p?puno? s?
???? ?????? ?no pu? ‘uo ?p?? ??? s????p s? ??n?s ??ns ??? ??
??sn?d sn ???? ?sn? ‘??o? ????o? s??? ??o p????n?s ???? ?? u??? ??o? ??? s????p ???? ????p ?o d???s ???? u? ?o? ‘qn? ??? s,????? ‘?? :????p o? ??u?????d–d???s o? –d???s o? ‘??p o? ?p??s?? ?q o? ???no??p uo?????nsuo? ? s??, ?o? ???? s? ?s??? ???? s??o?s ???n??u pu?sno?? ??? pu? ‘????????? ??? pu? ?? ??s o? d???s ? ?q pu?–??o? ou –d???s o? ‘??p o? ????? pu? ?u?soddo ?q pu? s??qno?? ?o ??s ? ?su???? s??? ???? o? ?o ?un??o? sno?????no ?o s?o??? pu? s?u??s ??? ????ns o? pu?? ??? u? ???qou s??, ??????? :uo??s?nb ??? s? ????–?q o? ?ou ?o ‘?q o?
?s?????d ?????? u??o? pu? u?? ??? ??? pu? ????s ? s,p??o? ??? ???
??o??o?o? pu? ?o??o?o? pu? ?o??o?o?
?s?uoq ????? ???? p?????u? ??o s? poo? ???
;???? ????? s???? op u?? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?s???d o? ?ou ‘??s??? ??nq o? ??o? ? ;s??? ?no? ?? pu?? ‘u?????uno? ‘su??o? ‘spu????
March 10, 2013 2:32 pm at 2:32 pm #1023726notasheepMemberwhat on earth? how do you do that?
March 10, 2013 3:07 pm at 3:07 pm #1023727β DaasYochid βParticipantI turned my keyboard upside down (just kidding).
There are numerous sites which allow you to input text, and it flips it for you; you then copy and paste into the reply box.
Google “flip text” or “upside down writing”.
March 10, 2013 3:27 pm at 3:27 pm #1023728shnitzyMemberAll right. Let’s go, peoples…your submissions are getting boring.
DY, that’s a warning. Next time, you get a :(. Nice try, though. π
March 10, 2013 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm #1023729just my hapenceParticipantDY – These monkeys have internet access on their typewriters?!
March 10, 2013 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #1023730just my hapenceParticipantAha, so DY gets a warning and not a π for copying something that already got a π (with no warning I might add…) and simply turning it upside down. Is it just me, or is that a little illogical?
March 10, 2013 4:00 pm at 4:00 pm #1023731β DaasYochid βParticipantShintzy, c’mon, it was cute.
JMH, yes, they use SeaMonkey.
March 10, 2013 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #1023732just my hapenceParticipantAs far as entries goes…
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. However: Knowledge is power and a prudent question is one-half of wisdom. But then again, it is impossible to love and to be wise.
Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism, but larger amounts bring us back to God and God has placed no limits to the exercise of the intellect he has given us, on this side of the grave.
By: The infinite Baconian monkeys with infinite typwriters (also, unfortunately, with limited time).
P.S. The Shakespearian monkeys never wrote a thing, that was us too…
March 10, 2013 4:43 pm at 4:43 pm #1023733shnitzyMemberThat’s where being riotously insolent comes into play.
Jmh, if you’re gonna plagiarize, at least be original about it. You might just get lucky…depending on my current mood.
March 10, 2013 5:05 pm at 5:05 pm #1023734just my hapenceParticipantshnitzy – I think you’ve missed the joke twice now… I’m not claiming the works of Shakespeare or Bacon as my own (which would be plagiarism), I am playing on the general theme of infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters and the works of Shakespeare, so in the first entry without the infinite time, they’d only be able to produce selected quotes. The second one played on the Bacon = Shakespeare conspiracy theory (so infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters would produce the works of Francis Bacon, not Shakespeare, again, selected quotes given finite time). And that, I think even you would have to admit, is an original idea (all the quotes in that entry, FYI, were from Bacon). The content may not have been mine but I credited the source (therefore no plagiarism) and the construct was most definitely original (and therefore also not plagiarism). The infinite Baconian monkeys idea is most definitely mine and totally original (but, hey, I thought that about the infinite monkeys with limited time producing selected quotes idea so what do I know?). More thought and originality went into my entries (which received a π and an accusation of plagiarism) than into one which simply involved turning someone else’s post upside down (which merely received a warning). I’m genuinely interested in learning the reasoning behind these umpiring decisions.
March 10, 2013 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm #1023735OneOfManyParticipant(???s??o? ????d?o? ??? op ?,up?no? ?? os ???u??u? ?,us?? ???? ?????un??o?un) s???? ???u??u? ?o?? ?u??u?? s???????d?? ???u??u? ???? s???uo? ???u??u? :?q
?d???s ? ???? p?puno? s?
???? ?????? ?no pu? ‘uo ?p?? ??? s????p s? ??n?s ??ns ??? ??
??sn?d sn ???? ?sn? ‘??o? ????o? s??? ??o p????n?s ???? ?? u??? ??o? ??? s????p ???? ????p ?o d???s ???? u? ?o? ‘qn? ??? s,????? ‘?? :????p o? ??u?????d–d???s o? –d???s o? ‘??p o? ?p??s?? ?q o? ???no??p uo?????nsuo? ? s??, ?o? ???? s? ?s??? ???? s??o?s ???n??u pu?sno?? ??? pu? ‘????????? ??? pu? ?? ??s o? d???s ? ?q pu?–??o? ou –d???s o? ‘??p o? ????? pu? ?u?soddo ?q pu? s??qno?? ?o ??s ? ?su???? s??? ???? o? ?o ?un??o? sno?????no ?o s?o??? pu? s?u??s ??? ????ns o? pu?? ??? u? ???qou s??, ??????? :uo??s?nb ??? s? ????–?q o? ?ou ?o ‘?q o?
?s?????d ?????? u??o? pu? u?? ??? ??? pu? ????s ? s,p??o? ??? ???
??o??o?o? pu? ?o??o?o? pu? ?o??o?o?
?s?uoq ????? ???? p?????u? ??o s? poo? ???
;???? ????? s???? op u?? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?s???d o? ?ou ‘??s??? ??nq o? ??o? ? ;s??? ?no? ?? pu?? ‘u?????uno? ‘su??o? ‘spu????
–the one who fell down and bumped his head
March 10, 2013 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm #1023736OneOfManyParticipanthow’s THAT for a plagiarism of a plagiarized plagiarism with an addition of yet another plagiarized element
March 10, 2013 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #1023737just my hapenceParticipantOOM –
Definition of plagiarism
noun
[mass noun]
there were accusations of plagiarism [count noun]:
it claims there are similar plagiarisms in the software produced at the university
(source: http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/plagiarism)
Like I pointed out before, neither of my entries contained any content that could be said to be plagiarised. So you couldn’t plagiarise the plagiarised plagiarism as there was no plagiarism to start with…
March 10, 2013 5:47 pm at 5:47 pm #1023738OneOfManyParticipantjest going with the flow here, good sir
March 10, 2013 6:00 pm at 6:00 pm #1023739shnitzyMemberJmh, I got it, you funny. My point was that I don’t subscribe to such a notion., monkeys would never get that far. Therefore, it’s just a bunch of quotes, the only original part being the lazy few sentences at the end. I actually meant to write last but lazy fits as well…:P
Oh. And explain to me what exploits your monkeys are describing. If you give me that much, I’ll retract my :(…
And, I hate to break it to you…but the way the smilies go is according to a very specific formula that I will not disclose at the moment. I’ll give you a hint though, it has to do with who will…..[fill in blank]
Oom, watch yourself.
March 10, 2013 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #1023740just my hapenceParticipantOOM – I know, I know. I was just being pedantic. It’s a hobby of mine. BTW, I thought you of all people would have appreciated the infinite Baconian monkeys…
March 10, 2013 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm #1023741OneOfManyParticipantc’mon, jmh gets a π for that measly counterfeit, and I don’t get boo? I deserve at LEAST 4 (maybe 5 for good measure).
March 10, 2013 6:36 pm at 6:36 pm #1023742OneOfManyParticipantjmh: lol, I honestly do not have that much scope. Just a literary dilettante. π
March 10, 2013 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #1023743just my hapenceParticipantshnitzy – Nope, missed it. Again.
March 10, 2013 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #1023744HealthParticipantshnitzy -“That WAS impartial.
For your info peoples, the contest isn’t over yet!”
Ok -Here goes:
Thank goodness I’m a monkey and the Guy in the Yellow Hat doesn’t post rules for me to follow like some Jewish humans have. If I was like these humans -I wouldn’t have a typewriter or keyboard attached to the Internet because I’d be scared that my little Monkey Kinderlach would be thrown out of monkey school.
Being a Monkey sure beats being Human!
March 10, 2013 7:44 pm at 7:44 pm #1023745notasheepMemberA Treatise on Bananas, Their Properties, and What Makes the Perfect Banana:
This being the definitive work into what really makes bananas the thing of beauty that they are and why we regard them as so important to our daily lifestyle
Author: The Librarian (who is NOT a monkey and gets very cross if you call him one. He is an orang-utan.)
March 10, 2013 8:00 pm at 8:00 pm #1023746Torah613TorahParticipantthe set of bannas is defined as
a yello delishis ellipse with a stemmm
grow on trees
me want to know surface area of banna bunch,
if rotated about the line y=x^1/2
how much wind coming from the west touches my banna?
March 10, 2013 10:00 pm at 10:00 pm #1023747ari-freeParticipantEven if an infinite number of monkeys could produce Shakespeare, you will never be able to find it because it will be hidden in an infinite amount of garbage.
March 10, 2013 10:40 pm at 10:40 pm #1023748π΅ β¨ GamanitParticipantari-free with a computer reading it you can.
March 10, 2013 11:35 pm at 11:35 pm #1023749β DaasYochid βParticipantJMH,the part about hanging upside down from trees wad my very own chiddush.
March 11, 2013 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #1023750realtalkMemberwhat typewriter- i tuk the man with the yellow hat’s galaxy. there’s wun game that has bananas on it- and other fruits-jus lukin at it make me hungry. hm- tasty indeed. i think that i will start a chat with the man in the yellow hat and my creator π lol:D
March 12, 2013 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #1023751shnitzyMember24 hours from now, the finalists for the MonkeyWriters Finals will be announced
~Shnitzy
March 12, 2013 8:49 pm at 8:49 pm #1023752benignumanParticipantQuestion:
Why is it assumed that an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of computers would eventually type the complete works of Shakespeare, maybe they would just type an infinite amount of gibberish?
In other words, why is assumed that they are always hitting different letters, maybe they are all just typing kikikikikikikikikikikikikikikkikikikikiki?
March 12, 2013 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm #1023753notasheepMemberDoes the Librarian qualify since he is not a monkey?
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