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Most rabbis and family of the rabbis makes their son wear rebbish clothing like schvartze zucken and never to cut the peyos. And he sends his son to a yeshivah where theres like one more kid like him and this kid can’t stand it he is trying everything to make himself like he is the same as everybody. For an example he would say that the other kids that wear schvartze zucken r more rebbish because they wear halbe shoes and I wear pointy. Such a kid gets touchered every minute of his life trying not to be what he is. And this is what the kid is supposed to do because if not he’s out of the house because if he doesn’t wear shvartze Zucken he’s a goy. What should such a kid do ?
Switch yeshivos.
What’s wrong with vaise zucken?
They get dirty too quickly.
The vaise lifestyle is more suited for him.
‘such a kid’ is doomed because he nebbach comes from a ‘Rebbishe’ family. His family should wake up and stop putting pressure on him. Leave the kolpik at home, wear a normal chalat and shoes, and if he does well in yeshiva and kollel and is fit to become a rebbe, his talmidim will encourage him to ‘don the garb’.
Just to add to my previous post;
In my dictionary, Rebbish, is someone who has learned Torah and Chassidus and has a personality to be able to teach people and influence them in the ways of the Baal Shem.
It does NOT mean, someone who wears a colourful bekitche in the week, with a white scarf, schtrokkes (one of my newly learned words, it means the velvet patches on the collars and cuffs) and a silver topped stick.
I don’t even begin to understand this post. Just socioculturally. There’s something about black socks, and some kids doing X and he’s doing Y but it’s okay because he wears pointy shoes, and if he changes he’s a goy…
Anyone want to translate this for me?
Thanks!
In my dictionary, Rebbish, is someone who has learned Torah and Chassidus and has a personality to be able to teach people and influence them in the ways of the Baal Shem.
It does NOT mean, someone who wears a colourful bekitche in the week, with a white scarf, schtrokkes (one of my newly learned words, it means the velvet patches on the collars and cuffs) and a silver topped stick.
Maybe your dictionary was printed 500 years ago. It certainly is not a current copy.
Holala: I feel for you. It seems you are trapped in a lifestyle that you don’t want to be in. I shudder to think what you are thinking, but alas people from all frum backgrounds, not just rebbish, have been confronted with this problem. One step out of the way and you’re in trouble and you feel as if you do not have a life of your own. Please daven to Hashem for guidance, not for advice here, as some of the posts are making light of the situation. Whatever you decide you need to have the courage of your convictions. Hatzlacha rabbah to you.
I think it’s a very dangerous situation, because wearing black socks is not a problem in halacha, and it seems he can’t function properly with these extra rules. If he doesn’t know what he really has to do and what’s being forced on him because he was born into this particular family, he may reject everything when he reaches his breaking point.
If i could, i would adopt him and take him out of an atmosphere that it seems he doesn’t like all that much
funny thing is i imagine most other kids are jealous of the rebbe’s kid
why you think they would be jealous? My father AH was a rav and believe I would rather he was not.
So then what is your issue?
OK, i reread your original post: you are talking about someone else. My apologies
The question is why the kids can’t stand it, and what one can do to keep them on the derech. The sad truth is that for some it has nothing to do with pressure by parents. It’s just the frum life does not appeal to them for whatever reason, and it happens in every frum group, even in the cloistered Meah Shearim.
Don’t blame everything else for your unhappiness. Learn how to enjoy any circumstance in life because most of the time you won’t decide what your situation will be. Believe me. Start when you’re young and you’ll never have a sad day in your life.
Holala, stop kvetching.
I think must Rebb’ish kids are proud of their status. It really depends on how good a job their parents did in instilling pride in them. It’s similar to Yiddishkeit when living really OOT or when frum kids went to Public School and stuck out. I understand it’s different to an extent because these things are family customs, not Halacha, but I hope you get my gist.
The other reason most Rebb’ish kids are indeed happy with their lot is because of the kavod and perceived higher status which sort of compensates for a harder lifestyle.
But regarding learning English, he can have boys in Yeshiva teach him or find another way if he really wants to, being Rebb’ish doesn’t mean he has to forgo that, IMHO.
@Trust 789.
I know my dictionary is old, but like the shulchan oruch and indeed the Torah HaKedosha, it’s not outdated.
Unfortunately, we are stuck in a world of chitzoniyus, where it doesn’t matter if your kid keeps the Torah or even believes in Hashem, as long as he wears the right hat and shoes etc you’re OK.
How tragic is that!
Sorry Holala. You’re a good man/woman. Study some books about boosting your self confidence. It’s nothing to be embarrassed of these days. Everyone does it. Even the the most irreligious people whom you view as living a blissful life without any rebbes bothering them or having to wear these socks or those socks have the same problems. It’s just that your way of boosting your self confidence and to feelings of individuality are by leaving religion/minhagim. I know it’s hard to feel proud of yourself with all that pressure, but basically my point is that so you won’t necessarily solve your problem by wearing different socks. You would be better off exploring other ways to make yourself comfortable without having to change any minhagim or upsetting your parents. Good Luck!
Flatbusher- i agree that there a lots of rabbis sons that suffer from rabbis son syndrome. still believe that this is just like so many other cases of people wanting to have what the other person has when ironically the man himself doesnt want his lot.
But, this should be a comfort to know that maybe he is lucky. Maybe he should appreciate what he has, what other people are jealous of.
In psychology its called RSS (rabbi son syndrome)
oy: Let me tell you, no one really knows what goes on in another person’s house. People thought my father was charming and must be fun at home, but really he was abusive and terrorized us. At one point my family lived near a well respected rabbonish family and the fighting we heard from that apartment was frightening. So sure, people can be envious but they are mmaking judgments from just a cursory observation
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