Accounting for potential misunderstandings

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  • #2041527
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Is it really my responsibility, that for any statement of mine I have to stick in all the layers of caveats? Isn’t there a point where intelligent people understand the context and environment in which something was said?

    It seems as if I have to preface any small point with:
    If course I agree that…
    I’m not saying that…
    Obviously, …
    And if you have a question of Halachah L’maaseh, all your Rav.
    This doesn’t apply all over.
    However, in some specific areas, if the situation is right, if you won’t transgress other things and if all the planets line up correctly in a sunny day that has just enough clouds, here’s my point:
    … … …
    And again, I don’t mean…
    And surely….
    But….

    Yeah. I know. This point, too, will come with its own monkey wrenches and red herrings.

    #2041666
    Goldilocks
    Participant

    If something can be misunderstood, it probably will be.
    It’s annoying, but try to live with it.

    #2041703
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Yeah, I hate doing that too so I don’t and I don’t care

    #2041822

    In halakha, you have to take care of other person’s sensitivity. You usually can’t say – I did not mean anything bad, it is he who is too sensitive. Online discussions have several extra challenges:

    1) you don’t see the person and he does not see you. This also shows in emails between people who know each other. Usually, it is better to pick up the phone than to continue angry emails

    2) you don’t know the person and he does not know you, so you make worst assumptions. This is similar also to books, but

    3) this is written quickly and 4) we are not authorities that can claim respect l’hathila so many people do not apply l’tzad schut

    general advice – if there is misunderstanding, it is not a big deal, both sides should adjust how theu read/write to make it into exchange of ideas rather than a meaningless flame war. If you are not improving in either writing or reading experience, time for self-review and ask someone else to give you an advice.

    Hopefully, you’ll develop an ability to express yourself better and to read with more understanding/

    #2041831
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Yeah, I hate doing that too so I don’t and I don’t care

    That is what I usually do. צדיקים ילכו בם… I would even ignore the responses based on misunderstandings and overapplications, unless it sounds convincing enough that others will believe it, too.

    #2042153
    Participant
    Participant

    of course i agree that it may be frustrating. i’m not saying u always have to do it, for sure that there’s no halachic obligation–ask your LOR to be sure–but, sometimes things can be confusing. especially on the CR u don’t know who’s responding to what, what side of the political aisle they’re on, everyones looking for controversy. just be clear as u can. its usually not too hard.

    #2042251
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    just be clear as u can. its usually not too hard.

    I’m always clear. It’s not about being unclear, and it’s not about misunderstandings. It’s about covering any possible application. A point is made. Listen to that point and discuss that very idea. The idea, not whatever else can be connected to it.

    A great example is how I mentioned holding the door and next thing you know there’s a discussion of walking אחורי אשה. I mean, seriously, figure out how to apply the point without that. That’s all.

    If I’d say that you can even לכתחילה allow someone to take something from your hand and carry it out on Shabbos — and there is no Issur, even Derabanan — I’d get hit with, what about לפני עיור. I mean, so assume I’m taking about a goy or that in regard to Shabbos it is completely fine.

    Do I have to fill out a five page form for every point I make?

    Anybody, nice job you did, @Participant. Very cute, indeed.

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