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Reading the girl’s thoughts on boys and vice versa threads, I was struck by the tone of some girls, myself included. While the males responding tended to mention positive things, the females tended to mention things that were done wrong.
There were entire lists of things men could do wrong on a date, while most of the boys only mentioned certain qualities they wanted the girls to have.
People who express a lot of criticisms come across as very critical. I’m talking to myself here. I think it’s really important to hold back criticism and try to see the good in the people we date, boys or girls. Even feeling critical makes you much less attractive to others, so it’s something we might want to think about working on.
Do you agree? Is being critical a turn-off for you?
That’s exactly what I wrote. (does that mean I, too, have chochma?) Someone, however, took me to task there for pointing it out.
I did apologize, should I un-apologize?
Hashem created the world that way. Woman (even if they’re not committed to him yet) try to “fix” their men. “You should do X. Why can’t you clean your Y? You never do Z! etc
Not only that women will analyze things that guys never in a million years think are important or relevant.
When my wife and I were dating I scratched my nose after I said something (because it ITCHED). She thought I was communicating some kind of distaste for her. She proceeded to go home and talk about and analyze it with her friend for THREE HOURS! I of course wasn’t even aware that anything had happened to begin with.
Now men on the other hand don’t want to be fixed. They are very comfortable with who they are. If you ask a woman what her faults are she will give you a long list of what she has to work on (another thing that Hashem created women with – they walk around with this idea of the “Perfect Woman” – who doesn’t exist by the way – and compare everything they do to what “she” would do.
Guys don’t give it a second thought – but their wives sure know what they have to work on!
Also VERY IMPORTANT FOR GUYS TO KNOW. This is why you should NEVER CRITICIZE YOUR WIFE! I guarantee you she already knows whatever fault you think you’ve seen. What she needs is for you to love and accept her AS SHE IS!
This is of course the great test of marriage – but when used correctly for both husband and wife they can grow closer then any other relationship imaginable.
Interesting.. U just reminded me, my biggest turn off w guys is when ther critical..
zeeskite: i didnt say you were worng for what your opinion but rather HOW your wrote it! it was very very not nicely put.but you are of course entitled to your opinion just be nice about it. i was taken aback by ur words thats all.
i can only speak for myself but ehrn i posted on that page i was aying it in a joking manner. of course there are a lot of positives about some boys! i can honestly say that i have never hadf a bad date and that all the boys that i went out with were very sweet caring individuals but they were not for me. i dont know about any others people who posted but mine was a joke
Might I know what was SO offensive?
“With such attitudes, any of you engaged?”
look zeeskite- maybe its just me… and it prob is….. but you saying that in my HUMBLE opinion… not the nicest way to start off something. who are you to say why i’m not engaged?!? I’m sure i’m just being too sensitive and you didnt mean to say it like that but to me thats how it came accross to me. if you didnt mean it like that then forget the whole thing;)
Your so right! Hatzlacha Rabba.
(I forgot what to forget about.)
Mommy:
With such attitude, any of you divorced? I don’t think people like to be whipped. Do they? Saying-DON’T do this, DON’T do that, DO this, DO that, NEVER,NEVER,NEVER..- any reason for him to be interested?
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/girls-thoughts-on-boys-dating#post-219055
lol zeeskite lets call a peace treaty…… friends?!?
Talking to me? No. I’m happily married. We dance every night to the sound of dishes and pots crashing…(JUST KIDDING)
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