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I’ve heard a number of stories and it seems its quite common, where an engaged boy or girl come to someone and voices a concern that they have and the advisor just either tells them it’ll all be better after you’re married or something else to comfort them. Now, they feel ok because this person has experience and he’s advising me that its alright. Meanwhile there’s solid grounds for breaking up the shidduch.
If you’re and adviser and someone comes to you with a concern, even if they don’t ask “should I break it off?” They are trusting you to steer them in the right direction . Why do you only consider breaking it off if they ask specifically? No one wants to break up something they just started and its unchartered waters for them they don’t know exactly what to expect. If you can’t bear the burden of breaking a shidduch even if you weren’t asked then you’re not a real advisor.
What do you think?
Advisor? Just what qualifies this individual to dispense advice? Having been married for several years and went through engagement makes someone expert to assume responsibility to make someone’s life decisions for him?
These questions are truly ???? ?????, and need someone with a good bit of experience and training to answer.
I fear that we will view some comments here about ??? ????. You would not approach a ???? who reviews ????? ????? monthly and masters this with questions relevant to ????? ???? and finance related halachos. I am not denigrating ??? ????, just noting that not every ????? ??? is qualified in everything. That goes for issues in people’s personal lives.
So, I may be redirecting the discussion in this thread to: What qualifies someone to give advice about life decisions?
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