"AHAVAS CHINOM!"

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  • #598494
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    It it that time of year, that once again we realize that we are about to enter Tisha B’av and Moshiach is still not here!!!

    We are unfortunately STILL in Golus, and must mourn the destruction of our Beis Hamikdosh, instead of rejoicing together in its construction.

    The reason of it’s destruction being Sinas Chinom, we must counter that with Ahavas Chinom.

    Please help with your suggestions and ideas, as to how we go about embracing Ahavas Chinom, In preparation of Tisha B’av and the Geulah!

    Thanks in advance.

    #795453
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    I’ll start with a known practice. Go load your pockets or purses with some quarters and tomorrow, march down 13th ave or wherever you live and start popping then in some meters, having in mind your fellow Yidden.

    #795454
    uneeq
    Member

    Well, I was just in this special “ahavat chinam” gathering today in deal, nj with over 3,000 people. There was tehillim and prayers held in a magnificent fashion. It was so heartwarming, and also the first time a thing like this has been done in our generally tight-knit community.

    #795455
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    Go hold the door for any older people with canes or walkers

    that need help entering or exiting Shul or any entrance/exit.

    When you give Tzedaka don’t just hand it to the person, tell him Hatzlacha Rabboh with a smile!

    When someone cuts you off, instead of saying Ba’heima!

    assume they didn’t see you, and acknowledge that you also

    sometimes (of course very seldomly) cut off people inadvertently.

    #795456
    photogenic
    Member

    Look for the “Neshama” part of every person you encounter, or already know.

    #795457
    sm29
    Participant

    Improving our middos is deffinately important, and judging an average person favorably. Plus, not holding a grudge. This is hard when sometimes people are annoying. But it is a test, and we can pass the test if we choose to.

    Every small act of kindness counts and can lift someone up. Let’s be a good example

    #795458
    twisted
    Participant

    or a special mitzvah for mods, shutting down sinas chinam threads.

    #795459
    Feif Un
    Participant

    bein_hasdorim: If you put quarters in meters like that, you will get a ticket!

    How about stopping the criticism of Modern Orthodoxy that abounds here on the CR?

    #795460
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    How about Saying Good Shabbos and Good Vauch to 5 people who you DONT know and are not from your “community” (Ie if you are Satmar say it a Lubavich, if you are MO say it to a Yeshivish etc)

    #795461
    SuperJew613
    Member

    Stop the labeling of fellow yidden! A Jew is a Jew – Chassidish, Litvish, Modern, Sephardi, Lubavitch, Yeshivish, Baal Teshuva, Black, White, a convert, Israeli, etc!

    Stop the “they” live like this…”they” do only that….”they” are practically not frum because of X, Y, and Z!

    Stop judging people based on their looks and their dress. Start thinking what a beautiful neshama each person holds and how precious it must be to Hashem. Stop judging people’s observance levels and worry about your own!

    #795462
    EzratHashem
    Member

    If you are a parent make an extra effort to teach your children not to belittle or demean any other child in their school, nomatter how unpopular or unusual the child is. Even better if the child can befriend the other. If you are a mechanach make an extra effort to intervene if you see a child who is treated as an outcast.

    #795463
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    SuperJew: While that’s a wonderful sentiment, it minimizes real differences in hashkafa that actually exist. Instead of pretending we all agree, why can’t we just accept the differences. “We” keep Torah umitzvos, “we” keep a wide range of minhagim. “We” learn a wide range of machashava. “We” have varying opinions on all sorts of hashkafa issues. “We” can disagree respectfully like adults. “We” are all Jews. That kind of thing.

    #795464

    Let’s be great parents to our children. Discipline only for the child’s sake not for your own honor. Compliment your children often, praise their accomplishments, and be tolerant of their shortcomings. Be tolerant of your spouse’s wrongdoings. Compliment your spouse often and express appreciation for her/him. Through being tolerant in our home, we will naturally become tolerant towards other people outside as well. With this merit we will bring Moshiach closer.

    #795465
    SuperJew613
    Member

    ItcheSrulik – that is exactly my point! But, it seems, even from reading other threads on this website, the “WE”‘s differ and everyone’s “we” has become a “they”. So, the real WE needs to think as a WE, not THEY.

    #795466
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Amen to that!

    #795467
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Ahavas Chinam is a misnomer. There is no such thing as Ahavas Chinam. Sin’as Chinam means hate for no reason. There is no such thing as love for no reason. The fact that someone is a Jew and isn’t a “hater of Hashem” is reason to love him/her. So don’t say ahavas chinam, as if it’s extra credit. It’s expected of us.

    This was not intended as a contentious post. I only wish to strengthen the point of the OP.

    #795468
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    Feif un said “bein_hasdorim: If you put quarters in meters like that, you will get a ticket!”

    Exactly what law am i breaking for putting a quarter in my brothers or sisters meters? We have a huge family BE”H!!! 🙂

    #795469
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    There is some law about feeding someone else’s meter

    #795470
    apushatayid
    Participant

    All great ideas. An even greater idea. Try davening in “their” shul, shopping in the “other” stores or putting a quarter in meters in “those” neighborhoods. Its nice, easy and convenient to do for “your own”. Doing for “them”, that is the key.

    #795471
    WIY
    Member

    Yitayning

    I think Ahavas Chinum is when someone does something bad to you and you still love them and do good for them and go out of your way for them. That’s the idea of Ahava Chinam, even though technically you would have a right to be angry, upset…and you still choose to forgive and forget and try to be closer than before. That is Ahava Chinam.

    #795472
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    WIY-

    You are right.

    I would still say that I still think many times people talk of “ahavas chinam” they are really talking about something which is not chinam, such as everything that falls under the rubric of ????? ????? ????. But you are right. ??????? ????? ??????, that is truly ahavas chinam.

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