August 1, 2010 4:43 am at 4:43 am #592061
I would like to add a thread about Ahavas Yisroel and not judging others. It seems that so many of these threads have gone the way of judging one and other on various topics to the point of bringing down chumras and mesoros to prove that the other person is wrong for speaking to their wives, swimming with their wives, talking on the streets, etc., etc.
I would like to talk about ways we can show our Ahavas Yisroel by finding nice things to say and do to our fellow Jews instead of berating them and putting them down.
Any ideas?August 1, 2010 3:44 pm at 3:44 pm #691939HealthParticipant
Women are given Binah Yesairah, if people like you would post more often, then it might become contaigous.August 1, 2010 5:58 pm at 5:58 pm #691940
I have just come back from a tour of the Shomron and I have to say that the young couples who have built their homes there and are toiling the land, are the most amazing and courageous people I have ever met. They have no fear except for Yiras Shamayim. At Maskiot they work the land themselves with the help of some young men that they have taken in (literally from the streets) at-risk youth who had they not welcomed with open arms would have landed in jail or worse. They learn about agriculture and prepare for the army. They refuse to hire arabs but choose to work the land and be mekadesh shem shamayim and not have any goy touch the kedusha of Eretz Yisroel. They do this without any help from the Israeli Government. These are people who were uprooted from Shiras Hayam in Gush Katif and resettled themselves on these barren lands.
The same goes for a yeshuv called Mevuot Yericho, where they also started a High School for at-risk girls and put such amazing kochos into them to heal them from their tzar and bring simcha back into their lives. Not only are they giving back to the land and the people of Israel by settling this land and guarding their borders, they also took in troubled teens and loved them like a family should.
This is true Ahavas Yisroel. Health, I think people like this can become contagious.August 3, 2010 12:28 am at 12:28 am #691942sm29Participant
Thanks for sharing that inspiring story.August 3, 2010 1:56 am at 1:56 am #691943☕️coffee addictParticipant
there are tehillim posts here (thinking about someone else)
there is a site called seeyouonshabbos.com (that coincedentally my mother-in-law was talking about a min ago) to invite people that need shabbos mealsAugust 3, 2010 2:25 am at 2:25 am #691944oomisParticipant
So what do you do if you invite someone(not yet known to you, but someone asked you to do this chessed) in need of a Shabbos meal, and that person turns out to be a truly obnoxious guest?August 3, 2010 2:48 am at 2:48 am #691945☕️coffee addictParticipant
well seeyouonshabbos.com has reviews by other hosts and refrences for each guestAugust 3, 2010 3:18 am at 3:18 am #691946Sister BearMember
So what do you do if you invite someone(not yet known to you, but someone asked you to do this chessed) in need of a Shabbos meal, and that person turns out to be a truly obnoxious guest?
That is what my mother says is the true mitzva of Hachnasas Orchim. Over the years we’ve had a few shall we say interesting and obnoxious people come over, one comes every Yom Tov. And whenever we complain, my mother says that is mitzva of Hachnasas Orchim.
We love having guests over at our house but truth be told, the kind polite guests aren’t that hard to have over and do the mitzva with. It’s the obnoxious people that…let’s just say, Lefum Tzarah Agrah.
You don’t have to invite them again.August 3, 2010 6:40 am at 6:40 am #691947
oomis, then you treat them as you would anyone else, and you pass another nisayon Hashem sets up for you. You still treat them with Ahavas Yisroel and set an example for them. Maybe they will learn something from you and that is why Hashem sent them to YOUR home.August 3, 2010 5:43 pm at 5:43 pm #691948tomim tihyeMember
When you have young children, it’s not a given that you can teach them to tolerate obnoxious guests. We had a certain guest from whom my young daughter would become nauseous and couldn’t eat. We stopped having that guest.August 3, 2010 8:19 pm at 8:19 pm #691949
Not every chessed is right for everyone and not every chessed can be done at every time. People should realize when a person is ripe to do which chessed. A mother with young children is not a good candidate for dealing with at-risk kids (for example), a mother with 10 kids should not volunteer for bikur cholim when her time is best used at home. As they say “charity begins at home” and that is true. You have to know which “chessed” is right for you and at what time of your life.August 4, 2010 2:11 am at 2:11 am #691950tomim tihyeMember
I’m a big fan of mothers of school-age children doing chessed involving their children’s education, such as being class mother, helping out with school functions, etc. I think it shows kids what’s important to you.August 4, 2010 3:22 am at 3:22 am #691951oomisParticipant
“oomis, then you treat them as you would anyone else, and you pass another nisayon Hashem sets up for you. You still treat them with Ahavas Yisroel and set an example for them. Maybe they will learn something from you and that is why Hashem sent them to YOUR home. “
Believe me, we did. We treated this guest like all our guests, as if he were a choshuvah rov in our home, despite our noticing very odd and obnoxious behavior on his part. I am not going into it obviously, but the fellow was really a most disconcerting guest.
A friend of mind had a guest who was even worse, who kept criticizing the food (they did him a chessed as he was a total stranger to them and a friend had asked them to host him for a seder). He also argued with them repeatedly throughout the seder, criticizing the way they conducted it. I am sure they got HUGE brownie points for that night.
Sometimes having even nice people might also be hard to have on a given Shabbos or Yom Tov ( i.e., I am not feeling well, I ended up with more people than originally were supposed to show up, the nice people have specific dietary restrictions, etc.). This year was especially challenging for me, because I was recuperating from major surgery, but I always love to have company. So even though that pleasant company might not be so easy to have, nonetheless we DO have them, and graciously, too. But I have decided that lefum tz’ara agra or not, I do not need to be made to feel uncomfortable in my home. If someone acts in a way that insults me in my own home through clearly obnoxious behavior, I am probably not going to give that person a chance to do it a second time.August 4, 2010 9:16 am at 9:16 am #691952
Oomis, Obviously you passed Hashem’s test the first time, and there is no need to be challenged again. It is perfectly OK to have some one else take the test next time!!!
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