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Would it help to cut and file it all the way down?
Thanks for the chizuk guys.
Sidi, are you sure you need to quit during the week?
Syag, I’ve heard that the Chazon Ish once saw someone biting his nails during the week and said it’s chillul Shabbos (because will do it out of habit on Shabbos).
Syag, like DY said, if I don’t stop completely, I won’t stop on Shabbos. That is why LG and I are continuing this project.
DY, there’s not really anything there. I just NEED to bite it! So far managing not to but it is driving me crazy!!
Why do I need to bite these nails anyway?
SiDi™
I understood that, I just believe that if you strengthen your shabbos awareness it will work just the same. but I am not in the habit of arguing with the chazon ish.
if you strengthen your shabbos awareness it will work just the same
I disagree. Biting/peeling ones nails/lips is a habit (and for some, they don’t even know they are doing it – not me ?”?). Knowing it is Shabbos may help a little but it’s not the answer. You must break it completely!
And anyways, why should I continue to ruin the ??? I was given? Imagine! After I break out of this habit I could peel oranges normally! I would be able to open the back cover of my phone without driving myself crazy! I would have healthy and strong nails!!! I can even put on nail polish without ruining it! Not! But maybe you could…
SiDi™
I know you disagree but it worked for me!
<whisper>
remember we talked about this?
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/all-aboard-project-improve/page/2#post-542412
</whisper>
A funny thing about this is that as an OT I work on redirecting habits in my students and it’s not easy. the first thing I have to do is find out what they are “getting out of it”. Sometimes it is to help you focus, sometimes it is to de-stress, sometimes it is for deep-pressure. Finding a “replacement behavior”, as we call it, is usually easier than “extinguishing” a behavior.
All that aside, davening works well.
Syag, I’ve heard that the Chazon Ish once saw someone biting his nails during the week and said it’s chillul Shabbos (because will do it out of habit on Shabbos).
I posted the exact opposite in a different thread:
??????? ??? ??? ?:
????? ????? ?????? ????? ???? ???? ??? ????? ????? ???? ????? ???? ????? ?? ?? ????? ???? ?? ??? ??????? ????? ?????? ?? ?? ?????? ?? ???? ??? ???? ????? ?? ??? ?? ??? ????? ???? ???? ??? ?? ???? ?? ??? ????
Maybe there’s a difference if doing it during the week will mamesh cause you to do it on Shabbos.
nice!
PAA, how is that the opposite?
Because it’s saying that if you bite your nails during the week and say “this is assur to do on shabbos” you are mekayeim shabbos by doing so. As opposed to the Chazon Ish who said that you’re mechalel shabbos by doing so.
I don’t think the Chazon Ish was saying that nail biting during the week is being ???? ???. What he was saying that by doing something during the week which is very hard to stop you will automatically come to be ???? ???, ?”?. (Please note the I and think. This is my own interpretation.)
?????? ?? ???? ??? ???? ????? ?? ??? ?? ??? ????? ???? ???? ??? ?? ???? ?? ??? ????
If you say out loud that this is ???? on ??? then you are ????? ???? ???? ???. I would guess that the person biting hours nails by the Chazon Ish was not even conscious of what he was doing.
Syag, we did have this discussion but I don’t think that is the only answer. And I think you will agree with me…
Why do I bite my nails? I REALLY don’t know!
SiDi™
SiDi, probably outa stress.
As someone mentioned above, it’s easier to drop a habit if you replace it with something else. Let’s try to come up with something…
Meiheicha teisi he was talking about habitual nail biting?
SiDi, I agree that it probably wasn’t meant literally.
Why do I bite my nails? I REALLY don’t know!
I once posted an answer to this question on a different thread, but it didn’t get approved. I assume it was because of a certain word, so I’ll change that word and see if it gets through:
According to Freud’s theory of personality development, a fixation on nail biting can be a maladaptive practice developed because of a failure to properly negotiate the Oral Stage.
Meiheicha teisi he was talking about habitual nail biting?
He wasn’t. He was saying that anything which is assur to do on Shabbos, if you do it during the week and acknowledge that it’s assur to do on Shabbos then you get a mitzvah.
“probably outa stress”
Nope. I just bite all the time. Do you only do it when you’re stressed?
PAA, can you translate that into plain English?
SiDi™
Smoking maybe
Vayoel Moshe/Viyoel Moshe/bp yidd: talking to me?
SiDi™
PAA – I wasn’t really addressing any “deep seated” meaning, I was just talking about what your body uses it for. For instance, some people chew on pens or tap their pencils against the desk. If you look around there are some people who will shake their foot or leg while sitting. These are all (what OT’s call)self regulation strategies.
Syag:
When I would bite my nails, instead of saying, “oish, I shouldn’t have done that” I would say, “I can’t believe I was Michael Shabbos”. That made a deeper imprint on my subconscious, and eventually would trigger my consciousness when I was about to do it. When I think about it as nail biting, it doesn’t sound so bad. When I label it as Chilul Shabbos, it becomes something to avoid.
Syag, I like that! Will have to try it Shabbos!
SiDi™
Bp- I think he may have mentioned it in his resignation letter.
You don’t have to admit to the obvious
I am bp yid
No need to admit. We are not that dumb.
Have fun trolling (somewhere else…)
SiDi™
Syag:
I was responding to SayIDidIt.
SayIDidIt:
I translated it into plain English but apparently the Moderators don’t like Freudian Psychology.
Don’t like Fruedian Psychology? Is that you proje ting your feelings on me, or are you, perhaps transferring your feelings onto me? Or maybe it is some passive agressive way of makong me undelete your post. So tell me, how long have you had this problem?
I’ll try posting it in Hebrew; maybe the Moderators will allow it.
aramaic
What’s up with the negative minutes today?
lamud vov tzadik
temporarily out of hiding
I am bp yid
—
And who else?
Is it also bp yidd’s birthday? And is he also pregnant and getting married to a girl who is a tom-boy who doesn’t like jewelery who you were getting married to a year ago?
The trolling on the CR is really getting to me. I may need to take a break…
SiDi™
Don’t like Fruedian Psychology? Is that you proje ting your feelings on me, or are you, perhaps transferring your feelings onto me? Or maybe it is some passive agressive way of makong me undelete your post. So tell me, how long have you had this problem?
Or perhaps you are rationalizing your behavior or perhaps you are in denial about your deletion habits, or perhaps Mod 100 threw rotten tomatoes at you last night so you are displacing your frustration on me, or perhaps by accusing me of using Freudian Defense Mechanisms you are regressing to a stage where ad hominem attacks are better than logical arguments.
I’m joking, relax.
I’m joking, relax
And I was serious?
And I was serious?
Apparently, seeing as you didn’t allow my painstaking Hebrew translation either.
Secondly, I did approve your post, someone else must have deleted it.
So what will happen if I resubmit it?
Firstly, they are two separate issues.
Secondly, I did approve your post, someone else must have deleted it.
Thirdly, 😛
SiDi, I really hope you won’t leave the cr… We’ll miss your eloquent, intelligent, and thoughtful posts. Your refinement shines through your every post, and in today’s world, that is something quite unusual.
Wishing you much hatzlachah!
the vaccine is starting to take affect
Are you working on a vaccine for the -1 years bug?
He’s not me
Give it some time Sidi, the vaccine is starting to take affect. I can feel it!
I guess I found out what would happen if I resubmitted it.
Not sure why . . .
I tried to outsmart the Moderators by posting it on my profile page but all the Hebrew letters just converted into question marks.
I’m doing the gloves. It’s works BH when I’m wearing them. But I need to keep at it. Like someone else mentioned, the only way to get rid of wanting to do it, is to substitute a good habit. I can imagine growing my nails and then biting again. That’s happened. What can i substitute?
finding a replacement habit isn’t always so easy. If you are biting your nails because of the chewing or the oral component, sometimes chewing gum will help. I’m sure in some circles it’s worse than nail biting but you get the point. If it’s about the peeling sensation, some people have put on layers of nailpolish that they can peel off when they get that urge. (Clear polish doesn’t always show the damage). We used to pour glue all over our hands and let it dry so we could peel it off, that was a great replacement but not real convenient.
That was what I meant by finding out what it “does for you”. One thing that worked for someone was to bite down on their fingertips (not hard enough to hurt, just to really feel it) every time they put their fingers to their mouths. It was still the same kind of “stimuli” but no damage done.
Hi everyone! I am proud to announce that I am on my 9th day straight with out biting my nails!
LG, SL and sm: how’s it going by you?
SiDi™
Doing fine a couple days with the gloves and polish. but when i didn’t have them on and was stressed, i started again. need to put the gloves back on
Belive me, I know what you mean! I completely stopped once and then started again… It’s an ongoing battle but we can beat it!
Let’s all try this Shabbos to strengthen our Kedushas Shabbos and not bite/peel our nails/lips and also try not to get angry – even once!
????? ??? ???? ???!
SiDi™
How was your Shabbos peoples?
SiDi™
Really awful… I was really stressed out over some stuff, so I bit my nails and the skin around em a lot. I’m really disappointed. 🙁
How was yours, Sidi? It’s amazing that you’ve been able to keep this up for so long. I’m really impressed!
I’m so sorry to hear that. It must be very frustrating! I’ve had my ups and downs but B”H I have not bitten in the past 12 days! They still drive me crazy but I just try to ignore them.
As was mentioned a number of times, disposable gloves really help! If your embarrassed about wearing them, think that it is better all the embarrassments of this world then one second in front of Hashem! (HaTanya(?) Reb Amram Chassida)
Remember, Hashem doesn’t ask us to be perfect! All we need to do is try (and daven!). If we succeed or fail is not the main thing! A ???? falls, gets up and “tries, tries again!”
We are rooting for you!
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