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  • #611825
    TheGoq
    Participant

    The First District Court of The County of Coffee Room is now in session the Honorable (and modest!) Judge Goq Presiding.

    Be seated will the clerk call the first case of the day docket number 001 RebYid and others Vs Ketchup are the attorneys for the prosecution and the defense present? please state your names for the record.

    #998679
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I hope the prosecutor isn’t Charles Hines.

    #998680
    WIY
    Member

    DY

    Charles Heinz* or Charles Hynes if u want the real spelling.

    #998681
    notasheep
    Member

    Can I be a character witness? Against ketchup, of course

    #998682

    I will only approve pro ketchup posts, all others will be deleted.

    #998683
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    There are no posts in a court case except the building in which it is held. Did you mean testimony?

    #998684
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    WIY, you’re correct. That’s what happens when I don’t get my Shabbos nap.

    29, I asked you not to arbitrarily delete my posts. Let’s see how that works out.

    Ketchup is deleted (this is a test).

    #998685
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    I will post experimental statements.

    #998686
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Mod 29 is a pufflegrap. Ketchup is not.

    #998687
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    An inanimate object or substance cannot be called a pufflegrap.

    #998688

    I don’t think one is allowed to contradict their own statements. You will be dubbed purjor and banished from the courtroom.

    #998689
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Ketchup should be deleted.

    #998690
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Is the defense counsel here? I see Rebyidd23 is here representing the plaintiffs.

    #998691

    Please, please, the evidence is just too gory, too graphic, for the jury and audience.

    #998692
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    BOO KETCHUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    “NO! I’ll be quiet!!! Don’t let security take me awa…..”

    #998693
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Who denied his own statement?

    #998694
    notasheep
    Member

    Not allowing anti-ketchup posts calls for a very unfair trial.

    I demand justice! I demand to be heard!

    #998695
    TheGoq
    Participant

    notasheep calm yourself i will clear this courtroom!

    #998696
    tzaddiq
    Member

    it’s all mustard’s fault! It always WAS mustard’s fault. ignored by many, and pushed aside by the great almighty ketchup, and overshadowed by his great following, mustard never stood a chance. besides, he’s yellow. nobody likes yellow! everybody likes red. his resentment and anger to ketchup was known to all. he always hated ketchup! it was HE who started all those anti-ketchup threads, i tell you, it was MUSTARD all along!!!

    #998697
    WIY
    Member

    Disorder in the court!

    #998698
    notasheep
    Member

    Circumstantial evidence. Objection!

    #998699
    dafbiyun
    Participant

    Anticipation…. its making me wait

    #998700
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I never liked Col. Mustard. He always came across as a seedy guy.

    So the plot thickens…

    #998701
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Mustard isn’t good either, though I don’t hate it.

    #998702
    WIY
    Member

    rebyidd

    Mustard is good! Ketchup I can hear maybe.

    #998703
    oomis
    Participant

    I never liked Col. Mustard. He always came across as a seedy guy.”

    Nah, they just court-martialed him because he went AWOL because he was yellow.

    #998704
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Mustard isn’t bad. I just don’t drink of it. Ketchup is bad. I don’t want to think of it.

    #998705
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Mustard is simcha

    #998706
    notasheep
    Member

    But maybe it was Mustard in the Dining Room with the Lead Pipe…

    #998707
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Ketchup has decided to defend itself in these proceedings let us start with jury selection, the pool includes oomis,sidi,syag,popa,the wolf,daasyochid,wiy,gamanit,says me,gefen, and one goal the jury will be made up of 6 members, counsel start your selections.

    #998708
    notasheep
    Member

    Hey! That’s mot fair… The pool of jurors is decidedly pro-ketchup and, therefore, is biased.

    #998709
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Just shows how honorable ketchup-lovers are, calling this a trial.

    #998710
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Juror number 4 just ate the defendant with french fries!

    #998711
    TheGoq
    Participant

    In that case i declare a mistrial, bailiff take juror number 4 into custody court dismissed!

    #998712
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Hey, mod, close the thread, court dismissed.

    #998713
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    Lol avram but maybe it was one of his siblings and not him. He is one of 57 you know and some of them look very similar.

    My question is whether he will be sober enough for the trial. He is always ‘on the bottle’ when I see him and I have witnesses who would swear in court that it’s very difficult to separate him from his bottle, especially if it is a glass bottle

    #998714
    tzaddiq
    Member

    as the court room emptied, a stranger in a long coat and hat, smirked a triumphant smirk, as he slowly got up from the bench in the back of the room and left moments after everyone else. a flash of familiar mustard-yellow could be seen beneath his coat hem…

    #998715
    notasheep
    Member

    But it WAS ketchup! Why do you think it’s red! I demand a retrial!

    #998716
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    Ketchup has decided to defend itself in these proceedings let us start with jury selection, the pool includes oomis,sidi,syag,popa…

    How did I get mixed into this?

    #998717
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    you must have been in the pool.

    #998718
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Fury said to a

    mouse, That he

    met in the

    house,

    “Let us

    both go to

    law: I will

    prosecute

    YOU. –Come,

    I’ll take no

    denial; We

    must have a

    trial: For

    really this

    morning I’ve

    nothing

    to do.”

    Said the

    mouse to the

    cur, “Such

    a trial,

    dear Sir,

    With

    no jury

    or judge,

    would be

    wasting

    our

    breath.”

    “I’ll be

    judge, I’ll

    be jury,”

    Said

    cunning

    old Fury:

    “I’ll

    try the

    whole

    cause,

    and

    condemn

    you

    to

    death.”‘ Charles Lutwidge Dodgson

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