December 12, 2010 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #593437maahMember
How do you deal with anger?
Do you have an issue with anger?
How do you deal with others that have anger management issues?December 12, 2010 5:52 pm at 5:52 pm #716806WIYMember
I think all humans to some extent have anger issues although there are certainly those who have extreme issues of anger or rage.
Theres a wonderful sefer called Haseir Kaas Milibecha that was translated into English the Hebrew English version is called Remove Anger from Your Heart(the Hebrew is on one side and the English on the opposite facing side so you can learn the Hebrew and when you get stuck go to the English or just read the English if that suits you)
Something that personally helped me is the following:
I think this and remind myself about this a few times a day especially when I feel myself getting annoyed with someone or something…
Parshas Kedoshim: Arizal – How Can We Possibly Love People Who Have Wronged Us?
The Arizal says that before davening one must have in mind to fulfill the mitzva of loving every Jew. What is the connection asks Rav Shimshon Pincus Zt”l. He explains that if we believe that everything that happens to us, whether pleasant or otherwise, comes from Hashem than the people who deliver Hashem’s will are simply puppets. We therefore harbor no resentment against people who have wronged us.
If we want Hashem to answer our tefillos we need to acknowledge that he is the master of our fate and there is no better way to prove we believe that than to love everybody regardless of what they have or haven’t done to you.
(From Revach.net)December 12, 2010 7:20 pm at 7:20 pm #716807chesednameParticipant
Thanks a million, I happen to have Haseir Kaas Milibecha, as I’ve mentoioned before I learn mussar every day, this will be the next sefer I learn.
Thanks again!December 12, 2010 7:49 pm at 7:49 pm #716808eclipseMember
I learn it too.It’s format is very readable,and appealing.December 12, 2010 7:54 pm at 7:54 pm #716809WIYMember
You are very welcome! Hatzlacha Rabbah!December 12, 2010 10:59 pm at 10:59 pm #716810dunnoMember
The shmuz has a shiur on this. He says that the person who got you upset couldn’t care less so by you screaming at your wife and kids, breaking things, and overall not functioning is only upsetting you and not the person you’re angry at.December 13, 2010 12:21 am at 12:21 am #716811Midwest2Participant
Another great sefer that deals with anger is R’ Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness.” It deals with a lot more than just anger, but that chapter is very well written and practical. A gem of a Toradik “self-help” book.December 13, 2010 7:43 am at 7:43 am #716812yankdownunderMember
The Letter the Ramban wrote to his son is an excellent instruction manual how to extricate the negative middos anger.December 13, 2010 11:03 pm at 11:03 pm #716813bptParticipant
Remember that no matter who you are or how smart you are, there is someone that finds you irritating. Still, they tolerate you; you should tolerate others as well.
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