Anger Management Group Therapy

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  • #588923

    Bemused
    Participant

    Anger management difficulties are appearing with increasing frequency in some of the CR threads.

    Please use this thread for free group therapy- members challenged with this weakness can offer support and strategies to one another in an effort to gain control in this most critical area.

    When conversation in other threads devolve into attacks on individuals or groups, participants may direct anger-challenged interlocuters to this thread. Hopefully, group therapy in this area will facilitate more mature and depersonalized discussion in the CR, as well as provide assistance and support to those in need.

    #649452

    noitallmr
    Participant

    “When your angry with someone, very angry, angry enough to hit, take 10 deep breaths and count to 15. Your anger will be half…Tried and tested.

    Read R’ Twersky’s anger management in the Hamodia.

    #649453

    Bemused
    Participant

    Thank you, noitallmr,

    If someone feels angry enough “to hit” in the CR, I hope they will consider your quote…

    #649454

    Learn to juggle bean bags- you have to concentrate on the bean bags, that if you are not focused on them the bb`s will fall. Do an act of chesed- volunteer to visit elderly relatives or non-relatives at a Nursing Home. Go Swimming, or to the Gym. Hashem can help them.

    #649455

    brooklyn19
    Participant

    get a coat with a zillion buttons like… which rabbi was that? he used to put it on and button it up, then unbutton it again. by the time he was done he was calmed down. who was it again? ouch i hate forgetting things.

    #649456

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    lol this group could be useful to some!!!!(not all though)

    #649457

    mazal77
    Participant

    penalize yourself everytime you get angry. Set aside a certain amount of money that you will give to tzedakah (not a measly amount, you want something tangible) and if you lose your temper, you have to give it to tzedakah. I think I read of this somewhere, on how to control your temper, but I forgot the source.

    #649458

    intellegent
    Member

    Can you believe that people actually get ANGRY at some anonymous poster?

    #649459

    noitallmr
    Participant

    Really brooklyn19? Please try find out who…thanx

    #649460

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Om

    #649461

    squeak
    Participant

    Hi, my name is squeak. <pause>

    I have had 2 anger free weeks thanks to your support. The other day I was about to get angry at the guy who cut in front of me at the checkout line, but then I decided to just deduct the time I lost from the time I would have spent on CR and I avoided an incident.

    Thanks for listening.

    Anyone else have something to share?

    #649462

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Hi, squeak

    #649463

    myshadow
    Member

    Thank you for sharing squeak.

    #649464

    lol, this thread is funny….goin 4 psychology in college so i’m going to havta refer to this thread when im learnin bout anger management,

    but on a side note i really believe there is no point at gettin angry or worked up bout somethin you cant change…wats the point?! just smile and remain calm and eventually whateva it is that seems so important and causes such anger will fade away!!

    also, it rly is funny the steam that goes on in this CR…ppl bein mad at someone they dont even kno!! ha ha ha!! thats funnnnnnnnnnnyy!

    #649465

    myshadow
    Member

    lol better to let out anger here then in real life i guess!

    #649466

    bored@work
    Participant

    When you dont see the person face to face it is easier to be nasty and let out your anger. But it shows that you are not the good person you are just doing it so other people say you are nice because noone will call you a mean person.

    #649467

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    squeak

    way to go!!! keep it up!!!

    #649468

    Joseph
    Participant

    asdfghjkl

    your up

    #649469

    Hi, my name is ____________________ and I get mad at people who I don’t even know, for typing things that are quite possibly said just to annoy me. I have been anger free for 3 days now, and …………………….

    #649470

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    Joseph: i don’t have an anger management issue!!! but if you do, how about sharing!!???

    #649471

    intellegent
    Member

    As a side point, isn’t it just the BEST therapy when someone is angry for someone else to say, “CALM DOWN!”? The angry person usually becomes as calm as a duck, no?

    #649472

    myshadow
    Member

    yea an angry duck

    #649473

    Feif Un
    Participant

    asdfghjkl: I think it would be more like this:

    Joseph: I have an anger management issue. However, I only get angry when someone isn’t following <s>my chumros</s> following the Torah, so if you think I need some help, you’re an apikores.

    (Let’s see if the strikethrough worked)

    #649474

    bored@work
    Participant

    I heard if financially possible the best way to get ride of your enemies, is to give each a million dollars, they will hate you forever, and in one case he caused two of them to commit suicide…

    #649475

    bored@work, did he get the money back after those 2 committed suicide?

    #649476

    Curious
    Member
    .
    .
    .
    | PSYCHIATRIC |

    |________________________|
    || .-"""--. ||
    || / .-. ||
    || | ._, ||
    || _/'-' '-.,_/ ||
    || (_ (' _)') ||
    || /| | ||
    || | __ / | ||
    || _).,_____,/}/ ||
    __||____;_--'___'/ ( ||
    | || (__,\ _/
    ||
    ||||______________________||
    |||| |
    |||| THE DOCTOR |
    ||| IS [IN] _____|
    || (______)
    jgs '|___________________//||\
    //=||=\
    ' '' '

    #649477

    myshadow
    Member

    oh gosh curious these drawings are cracking me up my co workers think Im officially retarted.

    #649478

    Curious
    Member

    Yah, I thought this one was appropriate for this thread.

    #649479

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    Curious

    lol your hilarious!!!!!!!

    #649480

    bored@work
    Participant

    that is really funny!!

    #649481

    Does anyone have info if there are any frum self help groups anywhere? (Besides Jacks)

    #649482

    myshadow
    Member

    MountainEducator you could try the Yitty Leibel hotline, I’m not sure exactly what it is but anyone can call and it’s completely anonomys.

    #649483

    myshadow
    Member

    These are the numbers for the yitty leibel helpline. All frum therapists

    New York City 1-718-HELP-NOW (435-7669)

    Chicago 1 -800-HELP-023.

    Lakewood, NJ 1-908-363-1010.

    Cleveland, OH 1-888-209-8079 …

    #649484

    Yitty Leibel Hotline is as you said anomymous therapists.

    Just like this thread is about (semi-sarcastically) group therapy for anger management, I would like info if there exists any organized groups for personal growth issues. They may be geared toward improving oneswelf in: self esteem, fear, public speaking skills, organizational techniqes, time management, conflict resolution, advanced social skills etc.

    I believe there are many people who are managing just fine (or at least whats socially considered to be fine) and would benefit greatly from such support groups

    #649485

    myshadow
    Member

    oh I’m not sure I could try to find out I tried googling it but didn’t come up with anything that sounded like what your looking for

    #649486

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    once again i’m slow on the uptake- first time i’m readin this topic. but boy! squeak- that was hilarious… and myshadow- agreed 100%

    #649487

    this is serious here: what do I do when someone is provoking my anger? I dont think I have done anything that horrific that this person, who I need to be in close contact with, will not talk to me unless it is to point out one of my problems/errors/mistakes.

    I really mean it… I try to smile at them, thank them when they did something nice for me (rare)…someone gave me the advice to do favors for them, as ahava=giving and one gains love by giving to them.

    Any suggestions?

    (now, if you are the one doing it, please tell me why anonymously via the CR…it gets kind of weird to think that they may be reading this…)

    #649488

    squeak
    Participant

    I have a fan. I HAVE A FAN! WOW!

    havesomeseichel – Yes, I do have a suggestion. First of all, I recommend that you try to understand that there are some people who have difficulty dealing with other people. In general these people are very difficult to deal with, but they can be dealt with if you are PATIENT!!! The solution is not to only work on doing everything to please them – because that is usually impossible (and also because “fixing” yourself will not make this person’s problem go away, but that’s not your concern).

    I don’t know much about your situation, but I can suggest a starting point. You say that this person won’t talk to you (or barely does) except to provide criticism. How about if you try to develop a segment of your relationship with this person in a neutral way. Try to find something to talk about that can produce a conversation. You might start with talking about what you did over the weekend, or maybe how you found this great deal on something. Try to get the other person’s interest, and maybe he or she will respond with something of his own. Start simple. Hopefully, after a while this person will offer something more than just idle small talk. That is where you are trying to go. But don’t hurry or force it.

    I think that if this is successful, it can be the foundation for getting this person to see you as a human being who needs to be treated with respect. If the person respected you, he or she would not be treating you in this way. I might be making more of this situation than there is to it, but that’s because I don’t know what it is really like.

    Good luck!

    #649489

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    yes squeak- a FAN! you know- the type that spins and cools the person near it. Perfect for the cool down session of anger management

    #649490

    Thanks squeak… i might be fan #2….too bad that i already tried finding common ground and something neutral to talk about and she wouldnt continue the conversation… hard to talk when someone is responding in one or two words…

    Can I send this person here for therapy? (OH NO-THE DREADED T-WORD) But then they would read this and know I am talking about them…

    #649491

    ok, maybe I am a bit paranoid that they are watching me…. can we make this into a general “CR Psychotic disorder” group? I think more people will be helped by this than just me.

    The following types are welcome: Are you:

    -paranoid that people will find out your sn?

    -lacking in anger management control?

    -fearing you have multiple personality disorder?(Common symptom is having more then 1 sn)

    -laughing so hard that your coworkers are ready to have you admitted?

    #649492

    squeak
    Participant

    Common ground is not your intial goal. One or two word responses are. Keep it up, the key word is patience.

    #649493

    squeak… thanks! I will see if it helps! I will try to keep that line of communication open …even if it is for one or two word conversations.

    #649494

    myshadow
    Member

    havesomeseichel, definately #4, my coworkers think im slowly going off the deep end

    #649495

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    i nominate squeak as the official CR psychologist (every psychologist needs one)

    #649496

    Jothar
    Member

    Let’s all go to Call of the Shofar and work out our problems there.

    #649497

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    Jothar- you’ve got this really amazing talent for killing a good thread. i accuse you of being the YW Editor

    #649498

    Lets not let him destroy it.. i need my help…

    I_______ wanted to yell at someone and instead, to calm down, came on the computer! It really works! Thank you everyone!

    #649499

    myshadow
    Member

    Props seichel!

    #649500

    squeak
    Participant

    Good job, seichel! You are in control of how you feel about this person’s behavior. If you don’t want to let it bother you, no one else can make it bother you. That won’t stop his behavior, but keep in mind that that is purely HIS issue. Nothing he does is your problem, only your reaction is.

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