July 5, 2011 3:43 pm at 3:43 pm #597801
It started about 2 weeks ago someone was texting me Sunday morning that they wanna “hang out with me” so I inquired who it is.. but he/she kept on ignoring me.. so, I decided to ignore and the texts were going on for hours every day without me responding.. meanwhile I did some investigation and after a long time tracked the number and discovered that it’s someone in my class (which is single and a bit bored) which I haven’t spoken to in a couple of years. At first I was horrified how an erliche person can do such a thing playing as anonymous opposite gender and …… ignoring the texts worked for a week and started this week again. I feel like I want to somehow give it in type of thing.. that it is totally rude and not mentchlich of a person to do something like this and i’m very disgusted by their action. How should I go further about this? It’s getting to me!July 5, 2011 4:14 pm at 4:14 pm #815091bptParticipant
Put a whole lotta distance between you and the other person. Nothing is a freakish as a stalker, and they are impossible to satisfy with an occasional meetup. They need help, and (unless your a trained professional) you’re not in a position to provide it.July 5, 2011 4:31 pm at 4:31 pm #815092a maminParticipant
There is a way for you to block that number from your cell phone. If you don’t know how, contact your carrier.July 5, 2011 5:01 pm at 5:01 pm #815093
I’m gonna block the number, but still want to let em know that I totally don’t think of it as a joke.. and it should be below one’s dignity to play such an ugly prank for so longJuly 5, 2011 5:31 pm at 5:31 pm #815094a maminParticipant
By blocking the number they will get the message!July 5, 2011 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm #815095
I think you should not tell them anything. Just ignore them and they will stop. you cannot control them from bothering and stalking other people you just have to worry about yourself. I had the same thing with phone calls at one point. It was a boy who somehow got my number and begged me to just meet him one time because he has something very important to tell me about myself. I told him no thanksJuly 5, 2011 5:41 pm at 5:41 pm #815096
I did block the number so that’s a bit of a relief, but instead i got phone calls from the number to my house and cell.. I ignored cuz couldn’t face to talk to such a stalker and all of a sudden its ringing to my work non-stop.. Again I ignored but they left a message how much they wanna tell me something very important…. what do I do now?July 5, 2011 6:00 pm at 6:00 pm #815097jewish sourceParticipant
call the policeJuly 5, 2011 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #815098
It’s a kid in my class.. though, not married and had very hard life needs lots of attention and recognition from others but this is not the way to do things..July 5, 2011 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #815099
OMG! Another new number texting me now, I’m afraid it’s a no-win situation.. HELP! what do I do? I have to stop this!July 5, 2011 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #815100Derech HaMelechMember
Maybe ask a brother to call him and tell him to stop. Or approach him with a few friends?July 5, 2011 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #815101
I don’t want a response like “oh was just joking, what’s the big deal..” I don’t want that, I want an apology and it make a statement that it was very wrong!July 5, 2011 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #815102Derech HaMelechMember
I can understand that. But it s possible that someone who would go this far really won’t be affected by being forced to apologize, nor would he be very sincere.
If as you said, he enjoys attention and recognition, your best bet is to get him to stop and then completely ignore him.July 5, 2011 7:54 pm at 7:54 pm #815103
yes, but that’s my whole problem. How do I get this to STOP! I am ignoring throughout!!!July 5, 2011 8:16 pm at 8:16 pm #815104yolkMember
Send a messenger to relate your message across is what I think is the best option since I believe you should never give in to these peopl. Maybe to someone that this person holds in high esteem or models…
However, if you happen to be male, then maybe discuss it with your rav or his rav…
Hope this helpsJuly 5, 2011 9:03 pm at 9:03 pm #815105
I just replied quite harsh “stop harassing people for the sake of boredom. I’m not interested in your games, and I will not hesitate to take serious measures against ur acts”
Is that a bit too rude?July 5, 2011 9:05 pm at 9:05 pm #815106
no. good job. you are right. hopefully you taught them a lesson.July 5, 2011 9:09 pm at 9:09 pm #815107
I really hope. Though, I wonder what the response will be and how things will turn out! I guess I’ll keep u posted.July 5, 2011 9:22 pm at 9:22 pm #815108gefenParticipant
cookies – ur reply was very good. did you tell her that you know who she is? that might shake her up a bit.
for all those who have been posting assuming it’s a “he” – read cookies posts. this is a female from her class.July 6, 2011 5:15 pm at 5:15 pm #815109
The texting has stopped since I replied so harsh.. However, She’s trying to call and I don’t want to answer. What should I do next time I see the number?July 6, 2011 5:26 pm at 5:26 pm #815110Dr. PepperParticipant
When our babysitter had that issue I told her to let her father answer one time, explaining that he had her phone for the day, and ask if he could help.
I think it solved the problem.July 6, 2011 5:46 pm at 5:46 pm #815111
Thanks Dr. Pepper, I think I’m gonna do that! Hope It’ll workJuly 7, 2011 1:41 am at 1:41 am #815112s2021Member
cookie- nice. I would get a male to pick up the phone and pretend hes a cop..July 7, 2011 2:34 am at 2:34 am #815113gefenParticipant
cookies – keep us posted. hatzlacha with this. seems like this girl needs help. i hope she gets it.October 5, 2011 11:19 pm at 11:19 pm #815114
ok… This is like many weeks after the story that I had regarding the girl that was sending me those harrassing texts. I never heard of it again, until 5 minutes ago….It happened. She calls me up to “shmooze” and I know she wants to ask me mechilah at random because she wants to wish me a G’mar Chasima Tova(she b”h had a beep and said she’ll call me right back). So now I need your help. I am really trying to forgive her, but It still bothers me how such a thing has happened and I know it was just child play or silly prank, and I cannot get myself to just say:” sure, what a question… while denying that she ever did anythibng to me. And if I’ll bring it up for discussion, she’ll just brush it off that c’mon it was just a joke. I’m not ready to accept such jokes. What do I do now? I need your advice how to go about this !October 6, 2011 12:16 am at 12:16 am #815115am yisrael chaiParticipant
Be honest using the “I” message, let her know how it bothered you. It will be easier to forgive if you feel she gets it.
“while denying that she ever did anythibng to me”-
Then why would she be asking for mechila?
“c’mon it was just a joke”-
A joke is NEVER a joke when it comes at the other’s expenseOctober 6, 2011 12:22 am at 12:22 am #815116aries2756Participant
If she calls, give her a few minutes to tell you why she is calling. If she doesn’t get around to it, tell her that you are very busy, wish her a good year and a good life. Say it like you mean it, but make sure you don’t say it like “talk to you later”. Then hang up. If she calls back let her know that you have moved on from High School. Let her know that you don’t have enough time to keep up with family and friends you have as it is and although you have nothing against her, and you are not trying to hurt her feelings, you just not possible for you to give another friendship the time and energy it deserves. So although it was great hearing from her and you wish her all the best, you don’t have the time and energy right now for catching up.
Do you think you can do that?October 6, 2011 1:09 pm at 1:09 pm #815117Raphael KaufmanMember
Cookie, what your are dealing with is classical stalking. You’ve already told the stalker that you would take action if she did not desist. Now, call the cops. Your stalker is clearly a disturbed person and you may actually be in physical danger.October 6, 2011 8:04 pm at 8:04 pm #815118
did this girl always have issues? she sounds like she needs a job and a husband and a LIFE!October 6, 2011 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #815119
so, she called me back and I didn’t have my phone with me then. So she’ll probably call me tonight. I’m gonna wish her a great year and I do forgive her, but won’t let her get away with pretending she never did anything at all.. yes, she she always had a disturbed life, however, she seems to be doing great she’s a big speaker and also high school teacher – so she has a job (although I wonder if they would only find out her true colors if she’d still be employed)
Now when she calls and again plays like nothing happened shouldn’t I bring up the subject at all?October 6, 2011 8:46 pm at 8:46 pm #815120BaalHaboozeParticipant
OMG she’s a teacher now?? Is she good at what she does? I am worried for her students. I hope she gets her act together. What she did was childish, mean, and just plain dumb. If she calls again and pretends nothing happened, I would REALLY worry for her students! That would tell me she is disturbed and truly unfit to be a mentor for kids.October 7, 2011 3:26 am at 3:26 am #815121aries2756Participant
IMHO, if you can put her off and let her know that it was nice hearing from her but you don’t have the time and energy to give to another friend right now, she might move on from you. On the other hand if you confront her and she is a little unstable, you don’t know where that will lead. Will you truly call the cops if she continues to harass you?October 7, 2011 11:11 am at 11:11 am #815122minyan galMember
It is rather frightening to think that this person is a high school teacher. I think that besides just checking references and requiring a medical checkup, anyone charged with the responsibility of molding the minds of our next generation(s), should be subjected to a battery of psychological tests to ensure that they are both physically and mentally capable of performing their jobs. I wouldn’t want a child of mine being taught by someone like this potential stalker. Maybe there is something to be said for home schooling. At least you know who the teacher is.
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