This also appeared in the Jewish Press last week. I am sure many of us know people who fit this complex description. The problem is, children of such people are brought up to be submissive all their lives. They are given extremes of love and contempt, to the point that they crave that love and are cowed by the rages. Such a parent is at the least, verbally and sometimes physically abusive, but rarely sees his or her faults or personality that way. The scariest part is that this type of person can hide it very well from most people, who often think very highly of him or her. It is only those who are closest to the person, who get to experience the extremes of Jekyll/Hyde type of personality and acting out. I personally know such a person, and have begged the spouse to get the BPD spouse into therapy, but it has not happened. If it were a family member of mine, I would be insistent, but in this case I am an outside observer, who is close enough to see the collateral damage that has been done, but has no real influence on them.