Are we sacrificing our families to ideologies

Since your post is incredibly vague on the context you are attacking, I will answer using the interpretation I have chosen.

While I agree that it would be better if I could be home for my children when they get off the bus, discuss their days with them, do homework with them, and play with them.
While I agree that more attention would likely help them socially and scholastically.

My belief system does not allow me to take the easy way out and send them to public school, buy non-kosher food at significantly lower prices, and skip the incredibly costly Yomim Tovim.
Therefore, I work my tail off in spite of the fact that it means coming home after my kids are asleep.
I work my tail off despite missing milestones in my children’s lives, ranging from first smiles to first teeth falling out, from first steps to first friendships.
Yes, my children cherish Shabbos and Sunday when I am off of work.
And yes, when my children snuggle up to me in the middle of the night, it is often the only weekday interaction they have with their father.
Yes, it hurts that I can’t be there more for them.

But, no!
I will not send my children to public school even if that means I could work less hours.
I don’t know what sort of ragebait sicko you are, but my children’s learning is important, whether you like it or not!

So, go back to your little misery hole and focus on ragebaiting yourself instead of others.

As is his minhag, rescuah puts some good thoughts into an objectionable levush.

fake, let’s do some financial planning:

yes, some articles do cost more but what is so expensive in your yomim tovim? an above-average esrog for every boy in the family, kyh?

I agree that public school is not an option for most folk, but an online school for secular subjects should work for families who can guide their kids through that. The benefit would be that your children would be able to earn more per hour and work less hours and spend more time with their kids! I, byh, was able to drive my kids to cheder and back (best time to have a good conversation with them all is when they are buckled up and nowhere to go!). The downside is that they don’t appreciate the effort I put in order to organize life that way, so they are less motivated in their college studies 🙂

So, that would save 20-50% of tuition depending how much your school actually spends on limudei chol. Now, if your schools charge you more to pay for those who chose not to work enough, organize your own small cheder with paying parents. Chayecha kodmim. You paying salary to a rebbe for the kids would be sufficient support of lomdim. That would save another 30%.

Now, use one esrog for the family. Sell expensive yom tov dishes. Maybe do hatarat nedorim (you did not know that food prices would go this high, right?) and switch to cheaper, while still kosher, food. You will not be meikel on being frum, you will be machmir on the mitzva veshinanta levanecha.

For those who are hesitant to not spend their best on their yiddishkeit, see a precedent in Maseches Menachos, somewhere in the 80s: we use best oil for public offerings (only the best – grade alfa, not sure why Gemora is switching to greek here) and for personal menachos – grade beta and maybe even gamma (these are still above average, just not the top shekel) are OK – because we do not obligate tzibur to continuously spend beyond their means.

fake, I am glad you seem to be on the right derech.

When I was growing my business like you, my motto was like the proverbial Store 24 that was found closed: “we work 24 hours, but not in a row!”. You just need to be flexible to find time for the family – drive them to/fro school, let them do homework near your work. Try finding a partner, rather than employees, there is no substitute for someone who also feels responsible. for the business.

On yomtov, still not sure why it is so taxing – you are taking a vacation, like everyone else in the whole world. You are still eating every day…

On schools, you are scaring me – you are saying that limudei chol are such a minor part of the curriculum. Try to interest your kids. There are tons of online resources, some are more serious – khan academy, melamed academy, IXL, edgenuity, others are more fun – beast academy, kahoot, brainpop, codemonkey (my list is a couple of years old though).

While it’s true that people should keep costs low in order to invest more in their kids

You do have to recognise time and attention is not the only thing our kids need from us, one of the very important thing they need from us is a good chinuch, and yeah we can cut costs of our fancy homes, cars, vacations, weddings, food standards, coz those won’t help our kids for their future life, and instead spend it on their frum education, importance towards mitzvos and yiddishkeit, coz these will help them towards having a happy meaningful life, at least as much as sitting and playing games would help them towards a happy meaningful life,

It’s very interesting that all the people busy bashing our community that we need to spend more times with the kids, it always comes back to compromising on yiddishkeit, that is not helpful for our kids, you care about them? You want to spend more time with them? Compromise on your selfish spenditure, no adult is a better person coz when he was young his father drove a nicer car…….

You obviously don’t understand what a good meaningful life means, it’s not having money and fun… I can tell you that much

IMHO> compromising on yiddishkeit, that is not helpful for our kids, you care about them? You want to spend more time with them? Compromise on your selfish spenditure,

I think we presume here that people here are not buying fancy cars and then complaining about high tuition.

But a genuine question for those who pay tuition and know their school finances: how much of your tuition is paying for reasonable expenses for your kids – teacher’s salary, building and how much is paying for others, admin expenses? would you save significantly if you organized your own small school with one rebbe for say 10-20 students?

To @fakenews

I wasn’t sure if you were correct about Nevuah/rescue but now I’m convinced because he ignored your post and continued his stupid rants on other threads. It’s the Kofer’s MO to mach nish vissidik when his position is refuted. I thought he was just an angry OTD, but your depiction is a better fit. If you’ve been paying attention most of his insults are directed at me. Last week he started a thread, “Qwerty is Ill” implying that I’m crazy. And on several occasions, he wrote that I need a psychiatrist, an obvious case of projection. So why am I his whipping boy? He’s insanely jealous of me because he thinks my life, unlike his, is perfect. In fact, I have plenty of problems really serious ones, but I consider them tests from Hashem and so I try my best to deal with them. This kofer, on the other hand, reacted to the mess he made of his life, and yes, it’s his fault, even though he probably blames the entire world, by rejecting the Torah and Hashem.

Qwerty,

I followed your advice why haven’t you followed mine

Nevua, is there any message here from you that isn’t filled with scorn and anger? It’s tiring.

AAQ, I fully believe that the Yeshiva I send to (and went to) does not splurge on unnecessary things. They seem to be doing better now than when I went through it, but that might be a reflection of society at large. More people seem to be doing better these days.

Paying the Rebbes in one thing, but it does take a Mosdos to raise a child. People tend to criticize when they’re unhappy about the price, but that doesn’t mean someone is tricking you.

To Haleivi

Not only is it tiring but it’s a total waste of time, but he has nothing else in his life than to spout his Kefira.

To ??coffee addict

Thank you for calling my attention to that post. In fact, I did write that I would ignore him completely. If this has the status of a Neder then I will have to be Matir Neder. I plan to speak to my Rav tonight and ask him this Shailah. In fact, however, as you can see from my response to you, I never intended to ignore him. I came to YWN in 2023 determined to fight Chabad. Baruch Hashem our side was successful, and we no longer have to look at their garbage. I feel exactly the same way about this psychofer although he’s far less dangerous since he’s nothing but a stupid Daas Yachid. Bli Neder I’ll get back to you tomorrow with what my Rav said. I enjoy our discussions. They’re challenging and truthful.