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we learn that we need to have a rav or someone to guide us but how do you know who thats supposed to be, especially girls?
Girls are under the halachic authority of either their father’s or husband’s Rov/Posek.
Asei L’cha. . . .
The Rebbetzin.
You know, I wonder why a woman is considered to have the knowledge,wisdom and insight that qualifies her to council other women’s most difficult issues simply because she’s married to a Rav. It calls to mind, l’havdil, Michelle Obama being able to tell America what to feed its children by virtue of being married to the President. I’m sure that there are sensitive issues that need to be discussed between women but what makes the Rebitzen better qualified than, say, a friend for example? I guess, given enough years of OJT, the Rebitzen has seen enough problems and lived long enough to be able to give good eitze, but how could a 30 or 40 something Rebitzen possibly give eitze to a 60 year old woman in crisis?
Go to an older and wiser Rebbetzin. Additionally, the Rebbetzin can be a conduit between the laywoman and the Rabbi who can dispense his rabbinic wisdom through her.
Girls often ask advice from high school and seminary teachers.
You can also see if any of your mother’s friends, or your friends’ mothers, or a rebbetzin in your neighborhood who seems friendly, or just someone you admire from afar are suitable.
You can be friends with people older than yourself who often have an interesting perspective.
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