August 25, 2008 2:16 am at 2:16 am #588071
i feel everytimes theres an article related to teenagers or especially at risk teenager, people tend to post a lot everything from why dont these parents control these kids or where are the experts who are supposed to help these kids. Talking can have both negative and positive aspects but I feel if all we do on such a dangerous and sad issue its not going to accomplish anything. I feel with so many readers on theyeshivaworld we can think of something.
Personally I am 18, I grew up in a completley frum home, went to the best schools right out or just within of the bais yaakov range, but through a lot of hard events in my life I went off the Derecg when I was in Israel for the year, I reached out to people but no one helped, Im still falling and struggling but I am not on here to tell my story (unless anyones interested) but to brainstrom and bring into action things that will help and prevents teenagers from going through what I and thousands of other former Frum Jews went through
thanks in advanceAugust 25, 2008 12:10 pm at 12:10 pm #633750tzippiMember
I read your other post and my heart goes out to you. Are you by any chance in the NY area? There may be more resources there than outside. But outside NY I’m sure there are sources too. Project YES, e.g is all over. And even though usually it’s the parents who make the connections, there is no reason you can’t. There are names I’ve heard that I’m reluctant to mention only because I hate the thought that someone out there is going to be motzi shem ra or otherwise cast aspersions on these fine people, but here goes: Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Rabbi Yehuda Fine, Rabbi Mitnick of Brooklyn, Dr. Bentzion Twerski. These are for starters. Hatzlacha and kol tuv,August 25, 2008 1:03 pm at 1:03 pm #633751BlindfaithMember
I am interested in your story. And like tzippi said those are good names plus Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein. Alot of us do care and would like to help. You are not alone, so please reach out.August 26, 2008 2:19 am at 2:19 am #633752
yea i live in NY , Iv’e tried project yes but they didnt help me, Iv’e been rejected to many times, Iv’e tried some of those but maybe I can try one more time. ThanksAugust 26, 2008 9:52 am at 9:52 am #633753shindyMember
I was once going through a very hard time, and felt very rejected. It was terrible, and Boruch Hashem I had a very good friend who shared my pain. She bought me a lovely card, and wrote me this beautiful note how Hashem loves us and how we can’t depend on anyone except our Father in heaven.
It is very unfortunate that teens and adults get rejected by frum teachers and schools and friends, and then it affects our frumkiet. I hope that for “teenager”, time will heal and Hashem will give you the strength to battle all your inner wars. You have your whole life ahead of you, G-d created you for a reason, you are special and don’t let others control your emotions. You are reaching out for help, you said you were getting therapy, and you seem to be on the right path. Just keep on trying, may Hashem guide you to the right supportive people, and you will be stronger as the result of your struggles.December 14, 2008 2:50 am at 2:50 am #633754dont have internetMember
since your back on the derech now (or at least very much on the way) why dont u tell us who or what helped u so other people can know who to go 2 for helpDecember 14, 2008 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #633755
Teenager, being that you’ve been through it yourself, would you be able to share with us what it was that got you headed in the right direction? This is a way too common occurrence and it’s people like you, who’ve been through it, who know what works.December 14, 2008 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #633756CuriousMember
Is it just me who was totally thrown off, and horrified, by comment #2? Almost seems like you are acting excatly the way the pople you are ridiculing act.December 14, 2008 6:30 pm at 6:30 pm #633757oomisParticipant
Teenager, it sounds as though you are getting back on track, B”H. If you still need people to talk to, the people who were mentioned are a gerat start. You could contact them throguh teh Jewish Press. Good luck to you.December 14, 2008 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #633758
wow teenager!!! your story touched me & hit a cord!!! what about project chazon, they do amazing stuff!!! there’s a rabbi milstein & rabbi daniel machanic that really could help you!!! it’s great to see that you do want to turn your life around for the good!!
good luck & may all go well for you!!!December 14, 2008 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #633759NobodyMember
Teenager, On a previous thread I commended you on your return journey and I have also told you that this should be looked at as a learning curve of life as you move into the next stage of adulthood and maturity. I also told you that I have no doubt you will grow into a very mature and level headed adult. Just hang on there and keep reaching out and seeking the support you need. Soon you’ll be on the other end dispensing support and advise following your own experiences.
I seem to pick up that today (?) seems to be a bit of a down day and wonder why. You mention you are not here to tell your story unless someone is interested. I am most interested. I would love to hear what prompted your straying and what or who led you on the return, if you actually know the reasons and answers!
I do not know what action could be taken to prevent teens going off the derech as I do not belive there is any one thing that one can attribute. It could be anything that occurs at a certain moment in the life of a person that sets off the catalyst of events that pushes a teenager down the slope. Nor do I have a magic wand to make it all better and for the pain to go away.
We all realise at some time or another that life is not a fairy tale but an epic journey of discovery and learning and hopefully along the way good will occur.
Again I am sending you my very best wishes and look forward to exchanging many more posts with you – just reach out and post a thread for all of our attention and you’ll see many, many replies all backing you up and pushing you along.December 15, 2008 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm #633760
Wow props to you teenager, sounds like you’ve been through so much and I respect you tons for striving to grow! Unfortunately it’s an all too familiar story about girls going off in seminary in E”Y, it happened with a few of my friends, but welcome back and Hatzlocha!!!December 15, 2008 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #633761notpashutMember
It wasn’t just you. Ditto.December 16, 2008 10:48 am at 10:48 am #633762NobodyMember
Torahis1 your remarks are just staggering and beyond belief.December 17, 2008 6:34 am at 6:34 am #633763
Torahis1- I’m not really sure what you meant to say. It would seem that your post came across differently than you intended, as that would likely be impossible to say on THIS thread.December 17, 2008 3:33 pm at 3:33 pm #633764noitallmrParticipant
Torahis1. What the…..
Why are you taking things so personally? So two people have a difference in opinion that doesn’t mean anyone hates each other.
Is there anyone here who hates another member of the CR???
I don’t think so…December 18, 2008 4:37 am at 4:37 am #633765
Does anyone know what happened to teenager? She hasn’t been around for a while. I hope everything’s ok.December 18, 2008 4:43 am at 4:43 am #633766
yeah i hope all is well by her!!!December 18, 2008 4:52 pm at 4:52 pm #633767charlie brownMember
me tooDecember 18, 2008 6:39 pm at 6:39 pm #633769AnonymousInactive
why should you write in standard proper language?December 18, 2008 9:23 pm at 9:23 pm #633771brooklyn19Participant
You forgot to capitalize the first word in your last post. What happened to standard, proper language? Give me a break!December 18, 2008 10:54 pm at 10:54 pm #633772
Is it possible that we’re defeating the original purpose of this thread?December 19, 2008 1:21 pm at 1:21 pm #633773tzippiMember
Esther, I challenge you to find one CR thread that stuck with the program 😉December 19, 2008 1:29 pm at 1:29 pm #633774December 19, 2008 2:12 pm at 2:12 pm #633775brooklyn19Participant
lol well that’s one thread no one has any desire or need to stray from the topic. unfair choice.December 21, 2008 3:23 pm at 3:23 pm #633776noitallmrParticipant
Maskim. Nothing like a decent MIL joke…January 15, 2009 4:56 pm at 4:56 pm #633777
I totally relate to teenager life is not easy everyone goes through things in life my life is a living hell but you know what i was given this life for a reason and i trust god knows what hes doing i couldve had every excuse in the world to go off the derech but instead of giving up i struggle everyday to be strong and stay close to god maybe one day he will see how hard i try and be there for meJanuary 15, 2009 7:04 pm at 7:04 pm #633778
wow, Rachelli, what happened you sound like your having a rough time!! KOL HAKAVOD for staying strong!! not many people would do that!January 15, 2009 7:48 pm at 7:48 pm #633779
rachelli- i support you and i support teenager. you can never judge the next person until you’re in his shoes (sorry- cliche). and btw- G-d IS there for you right now, you just can’t see Him. or why this whole crazy situation is actually for your good. yes- you heard right- FOR YOUR GOOD.
loads and loads of hatzlacha and may you be zoche to see the light at the end of the tunnel very soonJanuary 15, 2009 9:51 pm at 9:51 pm #633780
thank you its hard to believe its for my good it seems so wrong and bad but i know your right everything is for the best i just wish i knew a way out of my situation can i ask you for some advice maybe youll have some ideas….January 16, 2009 1:03 am at 1:03 am #633781
rachelli: wow!!! keep being strong!!!January 16, 2009 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #633782
Rachelli, definately shoot some of your questions at us!! You’ll get tonz of conflicting answers but maybe some of them could help you out!! 🙂January 16, 2009 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #633783
rachelli- we can’t advise without specifics, but a supportive, positive influence friend/mentor helps tremendouslyJanuary 16, 2009 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #633784kiruvwifeMember
Dear Rachelli–it seems you are at a point of reaching out for guidance, and when your mind and heart are open to it, then the search for the one who can give it to you is crucial. May I humbly suggest, that if there is a woman out there who you admire, respect, look up to, and will take a sincere interest in you, completely altruistically, that you get in touch with her. Someone who will not make you feel negatively judged, and who can touch your neshama, and give you the time that you need….much hatzlocha…and remember, Hashem is always available, always wants to hear what is on your mind and burning in your heart….it is sometimes very hard to build that relationship with Hashem when overwhelmed by pain and confusion,,,but deep down it is so healing for the neshama to be able to connect through just talking to Hashem—telling Him what you feel and ask Him to help you….their is nothing more whole then the voice of a broken heart.January 16, 2009 7:25 pm at 7:25 pm #633785JosephParticipant
rachelli – like everyone said, hatzlacha and keep strong.
Btw, did you used to post here as GILA?January 20, 2009 2:51 pm at 2:51 pm #633787
nope whos gilaJanuary 20, 2009 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #633788
kiruvwife- your message applies to all yidden accross the spectrum, dealing with all sorts of hardship. well said and thank youJanuary 21, 2009 5:08 pm at 5:08 pm #633789
Wow I havent been on ehre for about 3 months or so. Didnt realize anyone posted. Anyways I am back, if anyone has any questions feel free to ask. I was back on the derech for 3 months and then fell even lower than I was before. I gave everything up and messed things up. I have an amazing person in my lfie who si trying to help keep me stable, so for the last few days I am trying to be frum again. Its not easy at all, but I know its what i want so I push myself further then I think I can go.January 21, 2009 10:51 pm at 10:51 pm #633790
teenager- what a rollercoaster of a life! keep strongJanuary 21, 2009 11:40 pm at 11:40 pm #633791charlie brownMember
glad to hear things are going well, and I hope they keep going that way!!! Keep up the good work!January 21, 2009 11:45 pm at 11:45 pm #633792
teenager: welcome back!!! i was worried about ya!!! good luck with getting back on track, we in the cr, are rooting for you to succeed!!January 22, 2009 1:44 am at 1:44 am #633793anonymisssParticipant
teenager, I was really concerned about you! I’m so glad you’re back, good luck with things. Hope everything goes well for you!
~a~January 22, 2009 2:07 am at 2:07 am #633794
Thanks everyone for your good wishes and caring, it is really tough and describing it like a rollercoaster is a good description. Sometimes I wonder if its worth trying to get back up when i keep falling. Also it feels really good that everyones being positive here, I get a lot of looks and harsh words when people see me doing the things I am doing. I wish they understood I am not a bad person, I am not doing this out of spite. I am proud of ebing Jewish, I am jsut hurting so abdly and trying to figure my life out. Just for anyone who reads this, when/if you encounter a kid at-risk/otd dont judge them or look down on them jsut give them kind words. ThanksJanuary 22, 2009 2:47 am at 2:47 am #633795
teenager: just keep thinking your no quitter!!! i worked for me when i was dealing with simular stuff!!!January 22, 2009 4:24 am at 4:24 am #633796RoshYeshivahMember
Teenager glad to here you’re on the up side. Are you dyslexic by any chance?January 22, 2009 4:29 am at 4:29 am #633797moish01Member
ry – you don’t have any tact, do you?!January 22, 2009 4:38 am at 4:38 am #633798
RoshYeshivah: why you askin about being dyslexic??? btw i used to be borderline dyslexic!!! serious stuff pal!!!January 22, 2009 4:39 am at 4:39 am #633799
Things are actually pretty bad, but hopefully going up. No, I am not dyslexic, why?January 22, 2009 5:05 am at 5:05 am #633800syriansephardiMember
Wow teenager: keep strong, are your parents supporting u?January 22, 2009 5:44 am at 5:44 am #633801anonymisssParticipant
RY: from you? shocking!
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