October 19, 2021 7:54 am at 7:54 am #2018110
Yes this topic is about attention. Two questions I have recently.
1. What is it about attention that if someone “asks for it” no one wants to give it? If someone wants a loan no body minds lending. If someone wants a kind word or encouragement people give it. If someone wants a lift people give him. But if someone “just wants attention” then everyone has to ignore him?
2. There are so many times people do weird or loud or different things and people run to say they’re just doing it for attention. and so many times that’s no true. Let’s say you have a tenth grader standing on his desk in middle of math class and screaming and one of the more mature kids say “You just want attention.” Which could be not true at all. Maybe he just finds it very funny. In fact, if someone els would do it he’d find it funny and enjoy it so obviously his actions have nothing to do with attention, it’s just he finds it funny and wants it done–doesn’t matter who does it.
Or you have a guy who lights his menorah outside and someone walks by and mutters it’s not the minhag he just wants attention. Like how dumb is that? Maybe the guy’s a big machmir maybe he doesn’t know halacha maybe he does know halacha and the passer by is wrong–whatever, why are people always running to say oh its just for attention?October 19, 2021 1:23 pm at 1:23 pm #2018507ujmParticipant
Some people cry for attention.October 19, 2021 3:32 pm at 3:32 pm #2018601DBSParticipant
Like you?October 19, 2021 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #2018628
Well the underlying question is why does that person want attention?
It’s a form of immaturity, whereas the others are notOctober 19, 2021 5:18 pm at 5:18 pm #2018605mesivta bachurParticipant
” Let’s say you have a tenth grader standing on his desk in middle of math class and screaming” thanks for the idea spot onOctober 19, 2021 5:38 pm at 5:38 pm #2018690
First of all, why’s it immature, second of all, let’s say it is. You can’t humor the immature?October 19, 2021 7:35 pm at 7:35 pm #2018739
“let’s say it is. You can’t humor the immature?“
You can, but not during class
It’s like acting immature at a funeralOctober 19, 2021 9:23 pm at 9:23 pm #2018763user176Participant
Everyone wants attention and to an extent considers how people will react to him in mind before doing or saying anything. Sometimes people do things specifically because they want attention (whether they know it or not) sometimes they are just being themselves. People who brush others off as “wanting attention” are just proud of themselves that they know how to read people. If they really cared they would simply give the person the attention they thought he was seeking.October 20, 2021 7:47 am at 7:47 am #2018914ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤParticipant
What is immuturity at its core?October 21, 2021 9:02 am at 9:02 am #2019241
coffeddict, not what I said at all. The math class was an example of not seeking attention. Even people doing mature things if perceived by the attention police as sn attention seeking effort then they will make sure not to respond.
I understand not encouraging immaturity. That’s not the issue here.October 21, 2021 9:02 am at 9:02 am #2019240
“Everyone wants attention”
Why is that?
“eople who brush others off as “wanting attention” are just proud of themselves that they know how to read people. If they really cared they would simply give the person the attention they thought he was seeking.”
The point I was making. Plus they’re often wrong.
I just don’t know why attention was the thing so zoiche to this.October 26, 2021 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #2020981ParticipantParticipant
“why are people always running to say oh its just for attention?”
You’re asking how people who always know everything always know everything? Because they know everything, that’s why.October 26, 2021 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #2020983ParticipantParticipant
“First of all, why’s it immature, second of all, let’s say it is. You can’t humor the immature?”
“I understand not encouraging immaturity. That’s not the issue here.”
Contradiction?October 26, 2021 11:32 pm at 11:32 pm #2021147bored_teen 💕Participant
A word boring people use to describe fun people!
People have always told me I’m immature but I wear it like a badge of honour because it just means they’re jealous that I have a personality!October 27, 2021 5:57 pm at 5:57 pm #2021579
Huh participant? Is that sarcasm or what? I can’t figure t out.
But u asked a good question. let me explain. the root of attention might be immaturity (n, immature= adj) but so what? IF someone does something normal because of immaturity u don’t have to call him out on it. Bad stuff because of immaturity does have to be stopped. So jumping on a chair and screaming in class, don’t encourage that immaturity. But something else, who cares?
For example , I remember someone eating a lemon. I guess that he did it for attention, because I can’t think of any other reason someone would do it. Maybe I’m right, maybe not, but the point is let’s assume it was for attention. Is there any reason I have to ignore him because he’s “just doing it for attention?” Who cares?
If someone asks you to borrow money so he can buy candy, do you purposely not lend him so he’ll grow up?October 28, 2021 2:12 pm at 2:12 pm #2021938leibyParticipant
people crave attention and we should give it to them. however there is a new way in which people demand our time and that’s not acceptable. it happens at least a few times a week that somebody wants to show me some clip on their phone or demands that a listen to some song (isn’t it great?). this is beyond all pale of normalcy and must be purged from our society asap.October 28, 2021 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #2022080Reb EliezerParticipant
If someone says that they know everything, they really know nothing. Only Hashem knows everything.October 28, 2021 9:20 pm at 9:20 pm #2022112ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤParticipant
hey if i have your attention can someone please find me link to the riddle thread. ThanksOctober 28, 2021 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #2022117
“For example , I remember someone eating a lemon. I guess that he did it for attention, because I can’t think of any other reason someone would do it.”
I love to eat lemons and limes
Maybe the guy was vitamin c deficient?
Anyways if it bothers you then don’t give him the attention but if you think it’s cool, why not?
By a chasuna people do things “to be misameach the chassan and kallah” so people that think it’s cool give that person attentionOctober 29, 2021 7:11 am at 7:11 am #2022229
good, coffeaddict,, your catching on.October 29, 2021 8:32 am at 8:32 am #2022257
שלמה המלך wisely says
לכל זמן ועתOctober 31, 2021 1:55 am at 1:55 am #2022587farfetchedpshatParticipant
To try answering the first question, maybe people realize that sometimes giving attention to those who crave it may create a pattern of emotional dependency where they keep coming back to you for more in desperation. Like that friend that always makes the joke and immediately looks at you to see your reaction. Not everyone enjoys that.
Similarly, many people may not want to even give a loan if the person will keep coming to borrow more.November 1, 2021 3:33 pm at 3:33 pm #2023280
“people crave attention”
Why is that?
“a few times a week that somebody wants to show me some clip on their phone or demands that a listen to some song (isn’t it great?). this is beyond all pale of normalcy and must be purged from our society asap.”
What’s the matter? Technology? or it’s too often?November 1, 2021 3:37 pm at 3:37 pm #2023283
i just posted two things but my internet s not really working well. if it didn’t work I’ll have to do write it again.November 2, 2021 7:25 pm at 7:25 pm #2023819
“maybe people realize that sometimes giving attention to those who crave it may create a pattern of emotional dependency where they keep coming back to you for more in desperation”
I would hear that but it doesn’t make sense that people tell others “shh. he’s just doing it for attention.” Are they that considered about others being the attention-seeker’s desperation korban?
Also, they’ll say things like “Don’t do xyzzy, if u want attention, say “I want attention.” That sounds like their just being balei gavia like user176 said, that they have to prove they know the motive behind everyone’s actions.
“Like that friend that always makes the joke and immediately looks at you to see your reaction. Not everyone enjoys that”
Spot on! But i feel ppl are more likely to give a chesed laugh to a stupid joke than give attention to someone seeking it. And i never heard someone say, “don’t laugh at his stupid joke.” if they don’t want to laugh, fine, they’re not stopping anyone else from it.November 2, 2021 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm #2023843Little FroggieParticipant
I am posting here for attention
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