ATTN: Singles :(
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- This topic has 34 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 7 months ago by collegegrad.
August 15, 2011 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #598639HAPPY2BALIVEMember
I really try my best
To be happy and upbeat!
But sometimes I lose it with defeat!
My thoughts go far?
When will I be the shining star?
Am I rubbish? That I keep getting rejection after rejection?
Or does hashem want my connection?
And one day ill see the story so bright!
Thanks!August 15, 2011 4:30 pm at 4:30 pm #801261stickynoteMember
Attention Singles:Today is a day for davening for shidduchim-Tu’Bav. Pray extra hard and may all your Tefillos be answered!August 15, 2011 4:30 pm at 4:30 pm #801262be goodParticipant
Love the poem 😉
I’m feeling the same way today- there isn’t much I can say, except commiserate and hope things pick up for you and all of us out there in the same boat.
Feel good!August 15, 2011 4:47 pm at 4:47 pm #801263bombmaniacParticipant
a regular robert frost…August 15, 2011 4:54 pm at 4:54 pm #801264a maminParticipant
Happy: I am not single but i have to compliment you on your poem! I know HASHEM knows EXACTLY what is good for you snd it’s coming sooner than you think!!! Yashias Hashem Keheref Ayin!August 15, 2011 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #801265
My friend, there’s something we need to realize. Each and every day our bashert is davening to Hashem with tears in her eyes, “Ribono Shel Olam. Please, I beg you, send me my zivug. May we meet soon. May we cleave to You and one another. May we grow in Torah and in love. May we build a Torah home together and live our lives b’taharah u’b’kedusha. May be bring into this world many, many children – healthy, happy, pure, beautiful children. Children who love you and fear You. Children who honor and revere their parents. And may we raise them in the derech of Torah and Mitzvos.”
Then, your bashert finishes her tefillah, sad, yet hopeful, and wipes the tears from her eyes. Those tefillos then reach HaKadosh Baruch Hu. HaKadosh Baruch Hu then cries, shedding streams of tears for His children who want nothing more than to build a Torah home together and bring His Will into this world. At that point, He then looks at you and says, “As much pain as this rejection is for ________, My pure, sweet, beautiful child, I know that if he could see how hard his bashert was davening for him, he would glady accept every rejection b’leiv shalaim, knowing that it’s bringing him closer to his zivug.
I hope this offers you some degree of solace and nechama. May we all be zoche to meet and marry our basherts b’karov.August 15, 2011 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #801266Derech HaMelechMember
For what its worth, I’m on the other side of the fence and I’m also faced with the same thoughts. That shows that sending you a zivug is not a proof that Hashem wants or doesn’t “your connection”.August 15, 2011 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #801267HAPPY2BALIVEMember
ah……… i feel much better thanks to all of you!August 15, 2011 11:36 pm at 11:36 pm #801268
Each day should only get better. For you and for all of us.August 16, 2011 4:19 pm at 4:19 pm #801269
its not an easy process but nothing good and worthwhile comes easy…. it should be painless.August 19, 2011 4:21 pm at 4:21 pm #801270lovesbeingjewishMember
i also get rejected all the time! i just got rejected after 9 dates!!! life is good people!!August 23, 2011 2:54 pm at 2:54 pm #801271
my advice to being single is daven daven daven!! i used to think it meant ur desperate but now i see it really works. friends of mine that have been davening alot just got engaged. I am still single so I gotta just daven more!August 23, 2011 3:53 pm at 3:53 pm #801272
So those who remain single just have a lack of emunah right? that’s insulting! , of course davening helps but sometimes when u ask a question the answer is no!August 23, 2011 4:07 pm at 4:07 pm #801273
GOQ- the point is that you shouldnt think it just comes on its own. you have to daven for it.August 23, 2011 4:30 pm at 4:30 pm #801274
I agree u have to daven for it Adorable but to insinuate that people who remain single remain so because of a lack of emunah is an insult.August 23, 2011 5:01 pm at 5:01 pm #801275
well sometimes it is Goq. There are lots of reasonsAugust 23, 2011 5:12 pm at 5:12 pm #801276
HaKadosh Baruch Hu runs the world. We need to daven, perform acts of chesed, and improve ourselves, but ultimately, Hashem is going to introduce us to our zivug when it is right for each of us. We all need to stay positive and keeping working on ourselves. May we all be zoche to meet our zivug in the right time!August 23, 2011 5:46 pm at 5:46 pm #801277
Well said Kol but married people need to work on themselves just as much as single people.August 23, 2011 6:20 pm at 6:20 pm #801278
Of course! Lets try a different reading – Hachi K’amar: HaKadosh Baruch Hu runs the world. Everyone needs to daven, perform acts of chesed, and improve ourselves. For singles, Hashem is going to introduce us to our zivug when it is right for each of us. We all need to stay positive and keeping working on ourselves.August 23, 2011 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #801279
very true goq- and their chesed should be setting their single friends up (which many don’t)August 23, 2011 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #801280
GOQ- i dont think that is what was meant in that post. just be upbeat and dont have that outlook and then all of a sudden u wont even think that way anymore. being single is not a sickness or something like that. I feel like you think it is. i dont mean to insult you. I understand that it can get tough sometimes (im single dont forget) but you are so busy making support groups and all that stuff…..
wrote this in a rush- gotta go bring the mods more chocolate. ttylAugust 23, 2011 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #801281
I’m completely not insulted Adorable, but some married people act like they are perfect simply because they are married, and i find it offensive when someone suggests that singles are still single because their faith isn’t strong enough, i take it that way because thats what the poster was saying read between the lines adorable.August 23, 2011 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm #801282
I am single too btu dont have that outlook on the whole single thing- I dont think of myself as inferior and i dont view myself as a nebach that im still single so even though i read the same posts as you, I read them differently.August 23, 2011 7:16 pm at 7:16 pm #801283
its true goq. i feel like e/o is in this rat race to get married and once you win, you are in the ‘cool club’ (i saw s/o post to s/o who had gotten engaged ‘welcome to the club’) and no longer need to go to weddings and things, and if u do go, u need to bring ur spousy along and stay w him/her the whole time and leave really early. it’s like a zechus if they show their face somewhere. i’m not married but when i am i will not put my friends on hold , i will set them up with their basherts, and i will still be the last one to leave a wedding. and not say the words ‘my choson’ barffffAugust 23, 2011 7:19 pm at 7:19 pm #801284
I dont think i am inferior but the fact that others may judge me to be so because i am a middle aged single MAN is very real, i cant bury my head in the sand and say its raining popsicles when i know that much of the world blames me for my singlehood.August 23, 2011 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #801285
we don’t blame you goq if that helpsAugust 23, 2011 7:45 pm at 7:45 pm #801286
ty oot it does.August 23, 2011 7:48 pm at 7:48 pm #801287collegegradMember
ootinny I agree with you completely married friends have to think of their single friends. Their husbands know the boy. Friends tell me all the time I’m thinking of you I’m trying bla bla bla but if you never asked me for my resume you couldn’t have tried to hard.August 23, 2011 7:49 pm at 7:49 pm #801288
they dont need your resume they know you. and they knwo who you are friends with if they need more info. i dont need my friends resume to think of someone for them.
GOQ- did I come across too strong? Sorry about that. i promise I am not judging you for even one secondAugust 23, 2011 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm #801289
i wish it was raining creamsicle popsicles!August 23, 2011 8:10 pm at 8:10 pm #801290
not at all adorable we each have our own burden in life no one should judge another.August 23, 2011 8:16 pm at 8:16 pm #801291
that is true. and we know nothing about each other- in life in general (even when you think you know everything you really know nothing) and especially here in the coffee room.August 23, 2011 8:21 pm at 8:21 pm #801292
I think to help solve the shidduch crisis, girls should not date until they are 20. That way the 19 yr olds won’t be taking the boys that e/o else can. Personally I and many of my friends started at 21 and we were fine, but girls tend to want to get married very fast- but it sometimes backfires and they get very burnt out early on bec they started too earlyAugust 23, 2011 8:26 pm at 8:26 pm #801293
that is a little off topic but ok. I think girls that are right out of school who get married are doing the wrong thing in general. they need time to settle and get acclimated to the real worldAugust 23, 2011 9:03 pm at 9:03 pm #801294collegegradMember
adorable I say just the opposite. Assuming the girl is a mature girl start right away. The younger you are the easier it is to start anew you are not so settled in your ways yet. I say to help the “age gap” issue have the boys start younger.
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