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One might answer that whatever we do, outsiders hate us. BUT, we dont have to give them food for fodder.
At the end of the day, when we close our eyes for good, I dont think anyone relishes the fact that they had the nicest houses, cars, clothing. I dont think so!
I agree with your Mother-in-Law a”h 100%.
Not only did she have common sense, meaning, that when the economy is bad, as it is today, and people are hurting financially, then they pass a street in Brooklyn, NY, and see three luxury cars, BMWs, etc. lined up, and they are all in front of the biggest and fanciest house of the entire neighborhood, and these people have Anti-Semitic feelings at the best of times, this might have been the trigger to torch those cars as it happened last Friday.
But why rely on our own reasoning when our patriarch Yaakov Ovinu, begged his children not show off in front of the Gentiles when there was starvation all around them:
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I think there’s a difference between living ostentatiously and wanting to live comfortably. The first is a form of bragging (which can bring about ayin harah, jealousy, etc).
When we see a goy living in a beautiful home, do we say “dirty goy who steals and owns all the banks, media, etc”? Of course not. Those thoughts are pure anti-semitism/illogical based on jealousy. I’ve heard of rabbanim who have homes that look “eh” on the outside and really beautiful on the inside. To me, that makes sense. However, once a non-jewish delivery person or technician walks in, you’re inviting jealousy once again. So, where do efforts to keep ones wealth hidden end?? I think we have to know whether we do/have things to incite jealousy (some do) or to make our lives pleasant and comfortable, and not base decisions on other people who have issues.
I live OOT so I don’t know what happened on Ave J. but it sounds like you had a m.i.l. with her priorities straight! I agree, she was 100% right, and lived the way a yid SHOULD live in golus. America is as goyish a country as Germany was in 1940, there’s no reason to flaunt wealth – ANYWHERE. If one has the brocho of wealth, B”H for them, may they continue to see success, but keep it away from the public eye. Especially the non-jew’s eyes!
Your mother-in-law was 100% correct!
While we are in galus, the operative term should be “hatzney’a leches”. It was for this reason that when Yosef’s brothers came to Mitzrayim, we learn that they each entered through different gates – i.e. because seeing 10 such chashuv, impressive looking men entering the country together would have caused a resentment and a sinah against the shivtai Kah.
I once heard a shiur from a well known Brooklyn rav where he spoke out against those who do not ACT (never mind dress, but ACT) with proper tzniyus. He used the example of a woman who will double park her luxury car in front of a grocery, run in to buy a container of milk, give the clerk a hundred dollar bill (because that’s all she has) while prominently displaying the expensive diamond bracelet on her wrist. That is NOT the way a Yid should act ANYWHERE, and kal v’chomer in galus. It defintely just fuels anti-Semitism.
Quite right, “at the end of the day, when we close our eyes for good” neither the fancy cars, nor the expensive jewelry will accompany us to the next world, BUT those kind of thoughtless, selfish acts, and in general the way we lived, WILL.
Couldn’t agree more. If you have extra money, give more ????.
She was a smart woman! I totally agree!
I have nothing to add but agree 1000%
She is correct.
Tznius is not only about clothing…
She is correct but I still like nice things.
I never said to over do it but if one has the money, i think its ok to have a nice house, car…- not to the point of the extreme though. If it will make people turn their heads to look that is bad. It can also attract an ayin hara.chas v’shalom
Boro Park Girl: I do believe in kadeish atzmicha b’mutar lach (make yourself holy with what is permiteed to you). But there has to be a boundary.
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