Average Shidduch Age in the Frum Community
Home › Forums › Shidduchim › Average Shidduch Age in the Frum Community
- This topic has 19 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by ultimateskier.
March 22, 2012 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #602618farrocksMember
What in *your perception* is the average age young couples get married at, in the frum community? Please break your response down between boy and girl as well as by which community you are referring to.
To start with my own perceptions:
Ultra-Chasidish: 18 (Boy and Girl)
Chasidish: 20 Boy, 19 Girl
Yeshivish and Heimish: 22 or 23 Boy, 20 or 21 Girl
Modern Orthodox: 27 Boy, 25 GirlMarch 22, 2012 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #862390
Me and my wife were pretty young for BTs. I was 21, she was 22 (she’s a few months older).
As for what’s normal, I think you’re pretty close.March 22, 2012 10:54 pm at 10:54 pm #8623912facerParticipant
umm farrocks you got some wrong info there if i may correct it.
Chassidish get married at 19 boy, 18 girl
ultra chassidish get married at as young as 17
proof being that the Belze Rebbe just made a Shidduch with his son who is 17
whatever im just pointing it outMarch 22, 2012 11:44 pm at 11:44 pm #862392MorahRachMember
I turned 23 a few weeks before my wedding. I have some verrrry MO friends who got married before me or around 23,24. My more yeshivishe friends between 20-23. (girls) my husbands friends on the more yeshivishe side around age 25. Everyone is different. I have a lot of Lubavitcher female friends who get married usually 22. Literally a shanda if the girl turns 24 and isn’t married. Oy.March 23, 2012 1:16 am at 1:16 am #862393writersoulParticipant
The whole question is moot. It depends on your priorities for what you feel you need before marriage— something which is NOT ALWAYS determined by your “grouping” (something which I’ve never quite gotten; where do I apply to find out what group I’m in?). Sometimes yes, especially with chassidim, but otherwise I’ve known of people from 17-60.
Admittedly, the general population I’m counting (ranging from what OTHER PEOPLE call yeshivish to MO) clustered by 20-28 for girls and 22-32 for boys, but there are always outliers.March 23, 2012 4:50 am at 4:50 am #862394Sam2Participant
Let me get this straight: You’re asking for us to post what we believe stereotypes are in this thread? This can lead to no good…March 23, 2012 5:52 am at 5:52 am #862396more_2Member
2facer your new here?!March 23, 2012 8:34 am at 8:34 am #862397menucha12Member
sam2 you are very right: no stereotypes
but i think the right age for MOST people to get married is: 23March 23, 2012 10:14 am at 10:14 am #862398Geordie613Participant
Many Chassidim get engaged at 17 but only get married a year later.March 23, 2012 11:42 am at 11:42 am #862399morahmomParticipant
Have there not been enough CR discussions that indicate that there is no such thing as “average” anymore?! Anyway, sorry, writersoul, but even if your priorities match those of your stereotype, things just don’t always work out the way we hope and expect.
This is just another dangerous question if it leads our readers to get depressed because they are not in the societal norm.March 23, 2012 1:25 pm at 1:25 pm #862400mytakeMember
The only chassidim who get married at 17 are generally from Rebbishe families.
Farrocks is right. Ultra chassidishe couples get married at 18. THowever, they often get engaged a year before that.March 25, 2012 7:36 pm at 7:36 pm #862401writersoulParticipant
morahmom: Yes, I know. I really meant “starting shidduchim” when I mentioned priorities.
Look— my mom and her friends began to date at 19. My mom’s friend got married at 20, my mom at 30, and my mom’s other friend at 40.
My entire point was to
a) put out what I see the numbers at (and by the way, there are PLENTY of outliers at the higher end of the spectrum unfortunately) and
b) to point out that stereotypes mean practically nothing.March 25, 2012 8:43 pm at 8:43 pm #862402farrocksMember
The younger, the better. (Chazal’s point, not mine.)March 26, 2012 1:04 am at 1:04 am #862403147Participant
I once heard HoRav Avigdor Miller ZTKLLH’H answer in a Shiur:- “A 22 year old single girl, is an exceedingly old maid”.March 26, 2012 7:31 pm at 7:31 pm #862406avhabenParticipant
Uh moderator, poster dd just made a derogatory comment about a godol. How’d that slip in?March 26, 2012 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #862407RedNails19Participant
writersoul- GOOD POINT!!
I agree, when the time is right it will happen. It has no difference as to what age you are. Im almost 21, nearly 79% of my close friends are married (from Lit/Heim?chasidish/ some sefardic and MO); with babies- some onto their second one…etc etc and im seen as an “old maid”?! Not at all!!! When its b’znamo its b’zmano!! Do your hishtadlus- and all that other garbage about being old maid and depressed- PA-LEEZ- live up your single years- you only have it once!!March 26, 2012 7:39 pm at 7:39 pm #862408TheGoqParticipant
Why is a older single female called an old maid but an older single male isn’t called an old butler?
Is there a male equivalent to the word spinster?March 26, 2012 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #862409charvonaMember
You make this sound like it is always a choice. I know a frum 27 year old young man, accountant, big 4 firm, (tall & thin) would love to get married but he is often turned down for being a worker and not a learner. He is not in the average, but not because of his choice.March 26, 2012 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #862410avhabenParticipant
Goq: The male equivelent is an alte bochor.March 26, 2012 10:37 pm at 10:37 pm #862411ultimateskierMember
its nvr to late uk…
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.