AZ's scheme revealed

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  • #597138
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I saw it in the Hamodia.

    Someone in Chicago is offering money to set up girls whose parents live in Chicago.

    Here is the deal.

    Girl over 20- 1 date gets $100. 4 dates gets another $300.

    Girl over 25- 1 date gets $250. 4 dates gets another $250.

    So I’m thinking. If I was the guy and a shadchan redts me a girl from chicago, I say, sure, I’ll go out if you give me 50 buck.

    #774865
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    And what would you do if you were the girl?

    #774866
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    Or at least have the shadchan pay for the date(s)

    #774867
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Or at least have the shadchan pay for the date(s)

    And the beer.

    #774868
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    So I’m thinking. If I was the guy and a shadchan redts me a girl from chicago, I say, sure, I’ll go out if you give me 50 buck.

    “I already have an offer for $50, but you’re on for $35.”

    #774869
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    “And the beer.”

    and we’re back to drinking while on a date 🙂

    #774870
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    “I already have an offer for $50, but you’re on for $35.”

    Vinny down the block has a 26 for $170.

    #774871
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    and we’re back to drinking while on a date 🙂

    Oh, I thought we were putting dates in the beer.

    #774872
    shlishi
    Member

    So any shadchan who sets up any girl from Chicago, gets paid the above rates by NASI?

    #774873
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    It’s not from NASI, but yes.

    #774874
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Vinny down the block has a 26 for $170.

    “Fine, I’ll throw in a six pack.”

    #774875
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    “Fine, I’ll throw in a six pack.”

    “I take that back, I don’t want to mess with Vinny.”

    #774876
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    Speaking of beer, Rabbi Beer is on the Oorahthon now

    #774877
    jewish unity
    Participant

    Yeah I saw that offer in the likutei peshatim-it’s ridiculous! They make it sound like you have a problem if you’re a girl and you don’t get married while you’re a teenager. Anyhow, I have a better idea. Find a girl you know, tell her about this offer, then you can go on a date together and each pull in 50.

    #774878
    dunno
    Member

    I don’t see how this can work. To me it seems like a way for people to make a quick buck.

    #774879
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    Hmm..I know plenty of Chicago girls over 20, and plenty of single guys. Looks like I have found a way to pay for my college tuition.

    #774880
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Hmm..I know plenty of Chicago girls over 20, and plenty of single guys. Looks like I have found a way to pay for my college tuition.

    So it looks like it can work.

    #774881
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Too bad it’s only for over 20. Otherwise the high school guys could have made a killing.

    #774882
    prettyinpink
    Member

    EVERYONE STOP!!!!!!!! i saw this in the hamodia, the yated, and in one other place, and i think when it comes to this, we can call it TOTALLY RIDICULOUS! here is my issue with a program like this. shadchanim are doing amazing work trying to set ppl up… i do not take that away from them one bit. i give them credit for being zoche to be the messengers of Hashem for this important matter.

    i also understand that shidduchim is their parnassa, so they charge. fine. (although i do have an issue with the exhorbitant amounts they charge, but that’s a diff issue)

    my issue with this is that the rest of the world wakes up and only starts helping out WHEN THERE IS MONEY INVOLVED! i don’t get it. when no one is offering you money to do this big mitzvah, you put it on the back burner (if you’re even thinking about it). but when someone suddenly offers money, then you start thinking about and jump right into it?

    this is where all our problems (with shidduch crisis, shalom bayis…) start in the first place- messed up priorities.

    and just to note- i am somewhere in the 19-22 range, and i’m from chicago!!!!!!!!!!

    @jewish unity- good idea!

    #774883
    tzippi
    Member

    Leaving aside the fears that an unscrupulous (or may not unscrupulous, we’re all human) shadchan might push kids to date beyond the point they should, I can’t help but think of Yonasan Rosenblum’s comment on appeals to help the boys in Japan, along these lines: yes, it’s a terrible situation, and yes it’s a big mitzvah, and isn’t it amazing how we all band together like this…BUT WHY DID WE HAVE TO GET TO THIS POINT IN THE FIRST PLACE?? (My caps, not his.)

    #774884
    AZ
    Participant

    Didn’t even notice this thread till now…

    1. in order to be part of the program one needs to contact the local coordinator. It’s not a free for all. “hi i set up a date pay me”.

    2. a community that has been running a similar program for under 5 months has had 80+ dates set up and the average age of the girls being set up is over 23 so yeah it seems like it’s working.

    3. I won’t bother to go into explaining why and how it’s being so effective, the results simply speak for themselves. chicao is the fourth community to adopt this model, though they are the first to publicize it in the fashion they did. Each community runs and funds itself, NASI simply helps them get up and running.

    4. I’m not sure why this is referred to as “AZ scheme revealed” This is actually a concept i’ve discussed in this exact forum and i informed the CR that it will be comes widespread….

    5. Four more communites are in the early stages of adapting the same model.

    The contept is sipmle, it generates tremendous shadchan attention for girls who didn’t JUST start dating….

    #774885
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    Prettyinpink, I absolutely agree with you. I hope you didn’t take my comment seriously..I actually do actively try to set up people I know if I think it’s a good idea. But you are totally right. Why should it come to the point that someone has to offer money to get people to start thinking of others? It really is terrible.

    #774886
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    You have to register first? They didn’t say that in the newspaper.

    #774887
    shlishi
    Member

    AZ:

    What conditions does the local coordinator impose in order to participate in this program?

    #774888
    prettyinpink
    Member

    don’t worry, middle path! i did realize you were joking. but unfortunately, there are ppl who would have written that, and they would be totally serious. that’s what bothers me. just like we said “oh-now they’re offering money. lets go for it!!!!!!!”

    its so sad that this is what its come to. i’ve also tried setting ppl up before i heard of these programs. and now i continue to do so, just because i would have anyway, whether the programs came into being or not.

    #774889
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I’m thinking, maybe our making fun does have a point.

    AZ: Wouldn’t it be more productive to just give the guys money?

    #774890
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Charging the shadchan 50$ is letting them off easy. I’d demand 50% that way I could afford enough beer for the dates.

    #774891

    i don’t get what the whole idea is.

    #774892
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    although i do have an issue with the exhorbitant amounts they charge, but that’s a diff issue

    That’s exactly where you missed the point; shadchanim do not get paid sufficiently for the amount of time they put in.

    You think this plan is ridiculous because they should basically do it for the mitzvah.

    You probably also think that rebbeim, moros, rabbonim, shochtim, mashgichim, sofrim, etc. should work for below living wage.

    I’m being too strong; I know – you probably don’t really think that way. But it’s really the same; the reality is that people do better work when they’re properly compensated.

    #774893
    prettyinpink
    Member

    daas yochid-no. i agree they have to get paid if this is their parnassa. but when i hear of shadchanim charging $150 just to MEET the girl for 15 min/ half an hour, that’s insane.

    “the reality is that people do better work when they’re properly compensated.” dy, that’s my problem. read my post- this is what i said. ppl only wake up when there is money involved. that is the fact. that’s the truth. but it shouldn’t be that way. i said in my first post- ppls priorities are messed up. i myself don’t get paid that much for my job, but i put my heart and soul into it, and i love what i’m doing, B”H. i don’t put in any less effort than i would if i had a better paying job. maybe there are only a few ppl out there like that. and i’m not c’v trying to boast, although i know that any example where you use urself automatically comes across like that, but i am seriously trying to bring a point across. i think its sort of not being an fine person if you put in less effort the less you get paid. it shows what ur true focus is. and in this case, it’s money.

    also, like i said, how much shadchanim get paid was not my focus here. i was praising the work they do. its other ppl who only do things when money is involved.

    and about rebbeim, moros… i never said they should be paid lower wages. this is how they make a living, they need it, just like everyone else.

    #774894
    tzippi
    Member

    I would just like to say that while I have reservations I’m not antagonistic. I truly appreciate that shadchanim aren’t being paid enough, that they are working l’sheim shamayim, and all that goes with this.

    It’s just such a chaval that their job is so much harder. There are many societal issues that are making it harder, lunacy in the investigation process (what size dress does the bubbe wear), expectations, yes, the demographics of more girls to boys, and I could go on. We have to start addressing this too. Bring some sanity to the world. Let mothers know that they are making themselves sound like poor future MIL material. Figure out why there are more good girls than boys. (And I have to say, there are many people dealing with this – kol hakavod to them.)These are just some examples of what we parents have to do NOW to restore some sanity and ehrlichkeit to the process.

    (Note: this rant doesn’t even mention support. We can go there later.)

    #774895
    Master
    Member

    Figure out why there are more good girls than boys.

    At last check, there were more good boys. Unless you refer to there being more girls in the market in general. But not percentage wise.

    #774896
    tzippi
    Member

    I shouldn’t have used the word good. There are many different types of good kids and good aspirations. I meant, girls who want, like Tcharna in This is America, a lamdan, vs. boys who are the genuine article.

    #774897
    AZ
    Participant

    Prettyinpink:

    I for one (for whatever it counts) am NOT a proponent of paying $150 to meet the girls for numerous reasons. I DO believe in shadcanim being appreciated for the results they prodcuce.

    Date number one is a measurable result and date number for is clearly a quality idea. The money is NOT paid by the families, but rather by the community, thus the families don’t take it into consideration when considering the shidduch. (in the communites that haven’t publicized it the girls and their families aren’t even aware that the program exists, they simply find themselves with far more shidduch opportunites..)

    The results speak for themselves. I won’t even bother debating the theory. RESULTS RESULTS RESUTLS…. (defined and measured by shidduch attention for girls who didn’t JUST start dating).

    Shlishi: The local coordinators want to make sure they are deaing with people who are taking it seriously and abusing or redding silly suggestions. So far in the four communites that are running it there hasn’t been one instance of miscounduct, and any person who does simply gets disinvited. Once the potential shadchan reaches out to them they will be invited but it’s simply a way to prevent abuse.

    #774898
    Master
    Member

    Okay, so you meant there are more girls who want a Lamdan, then there are boys who are a lamdan. Just like there are more girls who want a millionaire, then there are millionaires. But why should every girl who wants a lamdan be entitled to get one?

    #774900
    squeak
    Participant

    The crowning achievement of the entire NASI project, start to finish, was to (unfairly) give girls a sense of defeat before even trying, and to give mediocre youths an inflated sense of self-worth. Paying matchmakers to “give attention” to “passed-over” girls is just another dagger in the heart.

    #774901
    gefen
    Participant

    OK – so – my daughter just turned 20 – are they saying she’s OLD? she should have been married by now?? oh no!! so if there are any shadchanim or eligible young men out there……. 🙂

    yes she is certainly looking forward to finding her bashert and building a bayis ne’eman b’yisroel, but she’s certainly not worried about it! IY”H in the right time. We’ll let u know when there’s a mazal tov.

    #774902
    shlishi
    Member

    squeak: When you refer to “mediocre youths”, who are you speaking of?

    #774903
    shlishi
    Member

    And how are they mediocre?

    #774905
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    Hmmm. How about if I set up prettyinpink with popa_bar_abba. I will then get money so I can help pay for the beer and cheese soup.

    #774906
    gefen
    Participant

    isn’t popa a grandpa already?

    #774907
    shlishi
    Member

    Mod42: popa’s travel to Chicago will cost more than the payoff.

    #774908
    AZ
    Participant

    Squek: The Crowning achivement of the NASI Project to date has been the breaking of the stigma that prevented boys from dating girls their own age or even slightly older. Such shiddcuhim are now commonplace and not even newsworthy.

    OK: The point of the Chicago program and the other communities is NOT that 20 or 21 or whatever age the program starts is insuating that at that age the girls are “older” “passed over” etc. It’s simply and very effectvie method to generate significant attention for the girls who didn’t just start dating. The more shidduch attention such girls, get the better chance they have of gettig to the chuppah imy”h.

    Such a concept will imy”h prevent or at least significantly alleviate the the shidduch crisis going forward.

    #774909
    tzippi
    Member

    Wow. That ended quick. I guess this really is a decaffeinated forum.

    #774910
    bpt
    Participant

    Chicago? Hmmm.. that might mean poppa is in the nursing home business ($$$)

    I’m listening….

    #774911
    adorable
    Participant

    i thought popa was an old guy. pretty pink sounds like a little kid to me…maybe my age or something

    #774912

    “popa” is a 9 year old girl

    #774913
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    “popa” is a 9 year old girl

    Hey! That’s personal information!

    #774914
    hanib
    Participant

    by the way pba, finally realized how joseph could have known what you do and where you live – he reads people’s profiles – i don’t know how to access the info., but maybe he can see that info.?

    #774915
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Bina:

    It is easy to see someones profile. Go to http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/profile/username

    And where I wrote username, you put the username you want.

    Thus http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/popa_bar_abba

    And if there are spaces, you put a – instead

    Thus http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/jewish-unity

    Or http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/profile/binahyeseira

    However, you can only see the person’s posts. You can’t see any personal information. Now, you can glean a lot from going over someone’s posts, but I have been pretty careful about information control. You don’t even know if I’m married.

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