February 27, 2011 9:43 pm at 9:43 pm #595365
Why is it considered a bigger brocho to have a baby boy than a girl? The gemora gives tips how to increase the likelihood of having a boy, and indicates it is a greater joy and zchus. And we make bigger simcha’s for baby boys (i.e. shalom zochor, vacht nacht , bris, pidyan haben)?February 27, 2011 9:52 pm at 9:52 pm #769349shuliParticipant
girls just arent as exciting i guess
whaaaaaaaaaaaa……………February 27, 2011 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #769350i said soMember
girls are very exciting they are both equally important just boys are the ones that have to learn and keep all the mitzvos they can and a women has different obligationsFebruary 27, 2011 10:11 pm at 10:11 pm #769351happiestMember
My guess would be that the boy carries on the family name whereas the girl does not.
That’s why I iy”H want a son, he doesn’t have to be my bechor but I like knowing that there is someone to carry on the family name.February 27, 2011 10:12 pm at 10:12 pm #769352observanteenMember
i said so: Right! (The “chasuv boy” will one day marry a girl, won’t he?)February 27, 2011 10:13 pm at 10:13 pm #769353tzvideerMember
i think whatever G-d gives us is the biggest brochah, no difference if its a boy or girl!!!!!February 28, 2011 12:05 am at 12:05 am #769354emanParticipant
We was married for a number of years without children. When we were blessed with our first child a friend come to me with a hearty Mazel Tov. A bystander asks what the Mazel Tov was for so I said we had a girl. His response- A girl doesn’t get such a Mazel Tov. When I told him we were married a number of years he wanted to crawl into a hole for his comment.February 28, 2011 12:13 am at 12:13 am #769355deiyezoogerMember
As someone who has both boys and grils I can assure you that both boys and grils are a very different expirience both are a huge brachah and are equaly exciting.February 28, 2011 2:09 am at 2:09 am #769356
eman, that person is a moron. It doesn’t matter how long you are married (OK, as long as it wasn’t shotgun :-P).
As a mother of 2 sons, I can tell you that having to give your sons a bris is a lot of heartache. In that way only would I prefer daughters.February 28, 2011 2:27 am at 2:27 am #769357commonsenseParticipant
I believe that the gemarah says this because men are mechuyav in more mitzvos. the carrying on the name is a modern idea because until a few hundred years ago people did not have last names. To SJS.. the baby does not remember and reaps the benefits for ever. I am sorry but women work much harder in the frum world and all boy has to pay with is having a bris for a lifetime of easier treatment.February 28, 2011 2:33 am at 2:33 am #769358☕️coffee addictParticipant
I saw this vort in the Shaarei Aaron,
The gematria of zachar is bracha (227)
the genatria of HaBas is arur (407)
the sofei tievos of zachr (zayin chaf reish) is nefeshFebruary 28, 2011 4:02 am at 4:02 am #769359
I am sorry but women work much harder in the frum world and all boy has to pay with is having a bris for a lifetime of easier treatment.
Easier than a learning seder of 9 am – 10 pm? Easier than a work day of 8 am – 7 pm (plus a learning schedule for himself and then with his sons)? Easier than davening with a minyan 3 times a day?February 28, 2011 5:19 am at 5:19 am #769360
eman, the person who said that to you was a fool. Didn’t Naomi tell Ruth she was better to her than ten sons? ANY HEALTHY baby boy or girl, is the biggest bracha in the world.ASk anyone who does not have a healthy child R”L. And though it’s true the boy carries on the family name (and also is the kadish’l), the girl is the one who potentially carries the future generations in her womb.
You know what? People have to learn to zip the lip sometimes.February 28, 2011 5:35 am at 5:35 am #769361commonsenseParticipant
canine, try coming home from working all day, picking up your kids, making supper and doing homework daily. try figuring out when you’re going to shop, cook and clean for yom tov while you are doing the above, try figuring out how the laundry will get washed folded and ironed numerous times a week while you are doing the above, try speaking to the person who wants you to make a meal for a friend or neighbor while you are doing the above because you have so much free time. much of this is done daily while juggling many other issues that come up. the kids are sick who stays home. the kids have vacation who stays home. who stays up all night pesach cleaning (and I do mean all night till 5 am) because it has to get done and there is no one else to do it. B”H all this is a brocha but it is very tiring and exhausting. Canine, you sound young, ask the men who are in it and they will tell you that men have it much easier. If they don’t they have no idea what they’re wives do. there are many women who would love to have to go to minyan and leave their husbands to cope with the house. there are many times women have to figure out how to be in 3 places at once while relieving their husbands of any of this stress so they can learn or work and daven in peace. It is rare for a woman to have to do just one thing at a time. Men get to do what they are doing one thing at a time.February 28, 2011 5:55 am at 5:55 am #769362amichaiParticipant
both are a tremendous bracha!February 28, 2011 5:56 am at 5:56 am #769363
commonsense, try davening in a minyan three times a day, having seder every day, working a full day on the job, the boss yelling at you every other day, customers insisting on reaching you at whatever hour, studying with the boys their Torah lessons every day, helping the wife every day, giving the wife the money she “needs” every day. commonsense, you may be young, but when you get a little more experience you will realize what I am telling you — not just realize but live it.February 28, 2011 1:32 pm at 1:32 pm #769366
commonsense, forget the baby, I was traumatized! My second son had a problem at his bris and it was truly horrific. Poor kid.
And LOL at canine. Most men wouldn’t trade places with women for all the money in the world.February 28, 2011 1:56 pm at 1:56 pm #769367whatrutalkingabtMember
First of all, Pidyon Haben is not necessarily a simcha- just a technical aspect that has to get taken care of. (buying your son back from the kohen) Of course its a simcha once you’ve redeemed him…
To answer your question, I think theres a gemara that says something about being blessed if you have sons and cursed if you have daughters because if you have daughters you have to pay for the dowry and wedding.February 28, 2011 4:23 pm at 4:23 pm #769368smartcookieMember
Sjs- I always say that! Having a boy is a major pressure. The Bris adds so much emotional stress for the mother! Having a girl was a breeze! But B”H! Abi Gezunt!
Canine- your post is quite senseless.February 28, 2011 5:38 pm at 5:38 pm #769369Shticky GuyParticipant
Bringing this thread back on topic (ahem!), the birth of a son commands the bracha ???? ?????? (naming Hash-m as good and doer of the good), and a daughter is greeted with ???????, expressing gratitude for sustaining the lives of the parents to this moment. I cant remember offhand why different brachas are made and which is on a higher level – the many books/sefarim on childbirth discuss this.
I agree with the several posters above that both boys and girls are exciting though different, and many frum mothers find the bris difficult.
I remember seeing in a ????? on ????? that the reason women/girls make the ???? of ????? ?????? is that they are created in the perfect, complete state that H’ wants them to be, according to the ???? of ‘? , whereas men must work hard and strive to reach the position/????? that ‘? wants them to be in, and sometimes do not achieve this. So according to this, the birth of a girl should be greater than of a boy.February 28, 2011 6:00 pm at 6:00 pm #769370always hereParticipant
in our circle, the mother doesn’t attend the bris.. exactly for the reason that it brings emotional pain.February 28, 2011 7:01 pm at 7:01 pm #769371charliehallParticipant
“My guess would be that the boy carries on the family name whereas the girl does not”
Only in gentile society. Surnames are not part of the Jewish tradition.
“men are mechuyav in more mitzvos”
Not that many — only about a dozen Torah mitzvot in our times (the exact number varies depending on how you count).
” the boss yelling at you every other day”
My boss never yells at me.February 28, 2011 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #769372
Always here, it wasn’t the actual bris that bothered me, but having to change the poor baby’s diapers afterwards. And in the case of my second son, he had to be restitched for various reasons and the mohel didn’t use any anastesia at that point despite being allowed to! (I didn’t know he was allowed to at that point).
It was not an experience anyone should have to go through.February 28, 2011 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #769373gavra_at_workParticipant
None less than Rav Chisda said that his daughters were better than his sons (as part of the Machlokes what BaKol means BB 141a).
Rashbam explains that Rav Chisda was Zoche to have Gedolei HaDor to be his SIL’s (Such as Rava the Amora), even though his own sons were Amoraim in their own right.
As such, whether it is a boy or a girl is not the “brocha”, it is the output of the Neshoma that counts.February 28, 2011 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm #769374always hereParticipant
SJSinNYC~ I hear you! my in-laws &/or husband changed both my sons’ diapers at the beginning after the bris.
I’m soo sorry to hear of your 2nd son’s experience 🙁 … iy’H all is well now. & ‘Amen!’ to no one ever having to go thru that.February 28, 2011 8:43 pm at 8:43 pm #769375mewhoParticipant
it should be equal.
think about it, if there were only boys how would people have more babies
gotta have both so both should be equally importantFebruary 28, 2011 8:45 pm at 8:45 pm #769376sms007Member
sjs- yikes that must have been a nightmare for you!!!! after my son’s bris, i made my husband change the diapers in the beginning or else i would just cry 🙁April 2, 2011 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #769377Shticky GuyParticipant
The OP wants to suggest that having boys is a bigger brocha than having girls.
In this week’s ???? ????? we see that a woman who gives birth becomes ???, for 7 days for a boy and 14 days for a girl.
The Kotzker Rebbe ??”? asks a question. Surely bringing another Jewish child into the world should be ??? ?????. Where does the ????? come from?
He answers as follows. At every birth the ????? ?????? is present. After the birth He departs. So the ????? is simply the absence of the ????? that has just departed.
The fact that the ????? lasts longer by a baby girl than by a baby boy shows that there is more ??????? by the birth of a girl than by a boy!!April 3, 2011 1:23 am at 1:23 am #769378
There is nothing like a dame….
A boy may be the kadish’l, and he may carry on the family name, but the girl will grow up to carry, birth, and nurture the next generation of klal Yisroel. Her level of kedusha is higher than a male, hence the need for her to do fewer mitzvos in order to be at the same level as her male counterpart. As far as I am concerned, ANY healthy baby who is born is a brocha beyond belief. And if chalilah a baby is not 100% healthy, that baby is still a brocha when he or she is loved.April 3, 2011 12:29 pm at 12:29 pm #769379Derech HaMelechMember
The Gemarah in Berachos 17a asks on the posuk in Yishaya 32:9:
…???? ??????…???? ?????
Why are woman zocheh to be called “?????? (complacent)” and “?????(confident)”?
The Gemarah in Sota 21a after a short discussion about how Torah protects a person while he is learning, wonders about women who aren’t commanded to learn Torah.
In both cases the gemarah comes to the conclusion that women’s zchus in Torah comes from sending their boys to cheider and their husbands to the beis midrash.
What comes out then is that a married woman can increase her zchus in Torah by having more boys. Therefore, having boys is – in this respect more beneficial for the mother than the father.
Also, I’m not a Darshan but I’d point out that in both cases the Gemarah lists ‘sending their sons to cheider’ before ‘sending their husbands to beis midrash’. Maybe there is even a bigger zchus from the sons than from the husband.April 3, 2011 3:05 pm at 3:05 pm #769380
The fact that the ????? lasts longer by a baby girl than by a baby boy shows that there is more ??????? by the birth of a girl than by a boy!! “
Funny that you mention that – I actually was thinking of it, but chose not to add it to my previous post. There is another reason for the tumah lasting twice as long by the girl, and that is because every female born, carries in her AT BIRTH her future potential for creating additional life. So the tumah is both for the mother and the female baby, hence the kedusha is likewise double.April 3, 2011 3:52 pm at 3:52 pm #769381ItcheSrulikMember
Everyone talks about the tumah lasting longer but they forget that the taharah lasts twice as long too.April 3, 2011 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #769382Eizena KupMember
While I can agree with you “There is nothing like a dame….”, I’d like to, with your permission of course, disagree on your constant “a female is on a higher lever – she doesn’t need so many mitzvohs” concept. I don’t think that is true. No such illusion to that in all Medrashim, all of Talmud (at least bavli) etc. It’s like saying men really have the babies, it’s just that..(they leave the job for their partners) Or the night is really light, it’s just that we don’t need it’s light.
No doubt this conception was by modern day movements, to pacify… Women are not holier, most don’t learn Torah, don’t daven three times a day – struggling through any weather Hashem sends as a test. Women do not have the kedusha acquired through overcoming a powerful yetzer, an urge that HaShem saw fit to confine to males only. Chazal say where there is a fencing of immorality – there is Kedusha. Kedusha comes from learning torah and doing mitzvos. (Rashi says ???? ????, a person who works acquires Shleimus) A woman shares in schar by doing her share – not necessarily sharing the same Shleimus. A woman may have other mitzvos to acquire kedusha – shleimus, but a man definitely has more opportunities.
A woman doesn’t have so many mitzvos – because it’s not her job. Period. HaShem’s symphony (This here world) can only be conducted when each performer is doing their job to the fullest.April 3, 2011 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #769383wanderingchanaParticipant
alwayshere – I always cried at brises until my son’s. Then I was just full of joy and gratitude to HKBH for having a healthy baby(he was very sick at first, and his bris was postponed for a week).
Having said that, my first was a girl, and I was just thrilled, and again, so grateful to HKBH. My mother a”h passed away young and unexpectedly a year before, so it was especially meaningful to me to be mother to a girl.April 3, 2011 11:23 pm at 11:23 pm #769384Pashuteh YidMember
Chana, I am glad you were able to name her after your mother.
Happiest, I am a bit confused, because the son you will have IYH very soon, as soon as you find your chosson, will carry on your chosson’s last name.April 4, 2011 2:35 pm at 2:35 pm #769385cherrybimParticipant
Is a baby boy a bigger bracha than a baby girl? ApPARENTly, the Chinese think so:April 4, 2011 3:44 pm at 3:44 pm #769386Raphael KaufmanMember
The common expression is, I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl as long as it’s healthy.” Not to long ago an aquaintance of mine was in the waiting room while his wife was giving birth. When the doctor entered the room, my friend asked excitedly, “is it a boy of a girl?” The doctor replied, “we don’t know, but it’s healthy.”April 4, 2011 6:29 pm at 6:29 pm #769387m in IsraelMember
I don’t know if Raphael Kaufman’s post was supposed to be a joke, but I had a real experience that really made an impact on me.
I once had an appointment with my OB/GYN and she was late as she just came from a delivery in the hospital. As she entered the room I jokingly asked her “so, was it a boy or girl?” She paused for a moment and said she didn’t remember! I was surprised as she just delivered the baby less then an hour previously. She said to me “You don’t understand. In all my years delivering thousands of babies I have seen so much in the delivery room, that when things go smoothly and the baby and mother are fine, I have such a sense of relief and appreciation to Hashem that I can barely focus on anything else!” She meant it, too.
May we all be zoche to only healthy mothers and babies, both boys and girls!May 23, 2011 9:16 pm at 9:16 pm #769390shlishiMember
Someone mentioned to me a Gemorah that says when a couple’s first child is a boy (b’chor), it is signifies the wife loves her husband. Does anyone know the parameters of this Gemorah?May 23, 2011 9:53 pm at 9:53 pm #769391WolfishMusingsParticipant
Someone mentioned to me a Gemorah that says when a couple’s first child is a boy (b’chor), it is signifies the wife loves her husband. Does anyone know the parameters of this Gemorah?
Where is this Gemara?
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