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- This topic has 84 replies, 36 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 1 month ago by popa_bar_abba.
February 10, 2011 10:51 pm at 10:51 pm #739412eclipseMember
I told you I don’t go anywhere at night,period.
So I don’t complain to/about any babysitter!
I asked my own daughter to be a little cheaper,to help others.
And I am biting my tongue on the rest of what I’d like to say.February 10, 2011 11:34 pm at 11:34 pm #739413deiyezoogerMember
i just joined in and this topic is really getting funny, do you want a babysitter, then clean up your house,hide all the things you don’t want her to see, and put out the food you let her eat like the nosh or the things your kids can’t have,or the ones that are healthy especially for your spouse’s diet,put your phone number on the fridge and also leave a cell number,any instuctions needed,you could also leave hatzalah’s number in case needed if she doesn’t know it.
by the way the minute you leave the house until you come back home you should not think about your house.
yes,trust the person you left in your house.February 11, 2011 12:53 am at 12:53 am #739414
Rezdy, although you do make some valid points, and I did reiterate them and defend them, your comments border on CHUTZPA to a basically adult audience here, so please keep that in mind. YOU are basically NOT speaking to a group of your peers and if you truly want to get your message accross being chutzpadik is not going to do it, nor will it make it easier for any other young woman your age who happens to babysit. You are going to sour the attitude of everyone here towards their own babysitters because of your nastiness.
If you would be speaking to a room of your peers maybe your remarks and their tone would be acceptable, but when you are speaking to people older than you are who are the general public who are in the pool of those hiring you are working against your own goal, which I am no longer sure what it is. Yes you are confident, very sure of yourself and your clients. However, if they were reading this and knew just how rude you actually come across discussing them you would no longer be the popular babysitter.
Moving away from “Rezdy”, lets all keep in mind that many young girls and some boys babysit to earn some extra cash to cover their own expenses so that they don’t have to rely so much on the family or may actually be helping the family. Every little bit helps these days. In addition, some kids raise their own money to cover camp expenses or summer plans, so if they charge $10 or more an hour they have good reason to. BTW, I believe at the time I stopped hiring a sitter, I was paying that much and my youngest is now 24.
Lets be honest as my own dear mother a”h, used to say “it isn’t necessary to dance at every simcha”. If you can’t afford to pay a sitter, be more choosy how often you go out. Maybe both you and your husband do NOT have to go to every simcha, maybe you should take turns. Obviously if you can afford to go out every Motzei Shabbos with your friends then don’t be cheap on the babysitter. If the babysitter takes more money to put the kids to sleep, do it yourself and leave later.
Find a sitter that you trust and one that fits into your budget. Don’t wait till the last minute to find a sitter, make sure you interview girls early on and not when you are desperate for a sitter. Find a sitter when you don’t need one and then call them over for a few hours when you are home so you see how they get along with the kids. Then give them enough notice when you need them.
If you find a sitter with such attitude as we have experienced here with Rezdy, it is time to find another. In our neighborhood there was a group of enterprising sitters that started a babysitters club. You called them, and they had a group of sitters they interviewed and had on call. They would find you a sitter at any given time. It worked out great because the sitters would list with them, and you only needed the number of the club. It worked great for 2 years until the girls went off to seminary. Oh well all good things come to an end.February 11, 2011 2:20 am at 2:20 am #739415Boro Park GirlMember
I never enjoyed babysitting by people that I didn’t know their kids( and especially by total strangers). Therefore, I only did it if there was a real emergency. At those times, I didn’t say a price and let them give what they felt was right. As far as I can remember, I don’t think anyone took advantage-they all gave about 7-10 an hour. Some people(neighbors, aunts…) didn’t pay every time I came for a 1/2 hour- instead they bought me nice gifts for special occasions.(I didn’t need the money because my parents gave me what I needed/wanted and my parents didn’t let me use my own money.)February 11, 2011 2:24 am at 2:24 am #739416gefenParticipant
Eclipse – Your last sentence echoes my sentiments exactly. Oh what I’d love to say to this young lady!!
People should be HONORED to have her as a babysitter??? OK – I’m not going there. Enough said.February 11, 2011 2:36 am at 2:36 am #739417
I think Redzy has the exact proper attitude about this. There is no mitzva to not realize when you are being taken advantage of.
And it is not chutzpa to criticize someone just because they are an adult.
I would hire her to babysit any day of the week.February 11, 2011 2:38 am at 2:38 am #739418HealthParticipant
eclipse – I understand Redzy and a lot of her friends. Tell me Redzy which High School you go to? I experienced this attitude more than once. I’ll make sure to tell everyone here that I know not to send there.February 11, 2011 3:30 am at 3:30 am #739419
popa_bar_abba- WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i guess all the other ‘adults’ in this disscussion missed the boat!
oh well! you win some you lose some!!!!!!February 11, 2011 3:37 am at 3:37 am #739420
aries: i dont know where i went wrong it could be i just expressed myself in a more dramatic way which got everyone heated up!
you did bring up some valid points but CHUTZPA?!?!?!?! i dont even know who any of you are! for all i know one of you could be a old man in florida faking an identity! but if any of you out there really are parents going through this whole ‘baby sitting crisis’
then i wish you good luck on all of your babysitters that you get. i hope none of them have ‘attitudes’ or are obnoxious.February 11, 2011 3:45 am at 3:45 am #739421doodle jumpParticipant
Redzy: I am trying to figure out where you are coming from. Why so much anger? In the posts you sent, you mention that you are tired after a whole day of school. Who wouldn’t be? School is your “job”. You have to go to school. How many people can go to another job after they came home from their main job. Not a lot. You have to really enjoy doing it and wanting to do it. Why do you need to babysit? Also, it seems like it REALLY bothers you that people are begging. Why do you have to say yes? You need to learn to say no. Nicely and respectfully. No. Very simple. The more you’ll say it, the more you will feel comfortable with yourself. Babysitting is not for everyone. My oldest really did not enjoy it, so she rarely babysat. My second one enjoys it and she often babysat. Also, a good point to remember is that in a way a babysitting job is like a “shidduch”, for a lack of a better word, of a sort. You have to feel comfortable in the house, you have to enjoy the kids and their chochmos. Do it because you really want to, not because someone is begging. Say yes to the people that you feel comfortable working for and say no to the others.February 11, 2011 4:02 am at 4:02 am #739422justsmile613Participant
ARE YOU KIDDING??? Why in the world should I call the babysitter right before we get home??? its our house! no one told her to throw her shoes in middle of the floor. she may have been embarrassed but it is immature to demand something like that.
Also babysitters do need to be shown respect, however $10 and hour is ridiculous! people do not need to pay a child that much for just sitting on the couch for a couple hours, its not good chinuch.February 11, 2011 4:03 am at 4:03 am #739423
Yes, Redzy, continued CHUTZPAH!!February 11, 2011 4:10 am at 4:10 am #739424Smile E. FaceMember
just like to say the money goes acc to neighborhoods- i charge 5 an hour no matter what, but when i babysit in other places, THEY pay me 10… :0)
but it’s not just sitting on the couch. i enjoy babysitting, and i’ll do it for free when i know the person can’t pay, but sometimes it involves playing with the kids, feeding them supper, putting them to bed, playing with tem, etc. at some point i felt guilty getting paid at a certain persons house b/c all i did was sit and do my hw (was quieter than my house!) and the person told me that if s/t ever did c”v happen, i was responsible, so that’s why she was paying me :0)February 11, 2011 4:11 am at 4:11 am #739425
jusstsmile613, I disagree, if you don’t want to pay the price, stay home. If that is the going rate, which it was many years ago when I stopped hiring, like I said my youngest is now 24, then that is the price.
As for just sitting on the couch for a couple of hours…..that is not what you are paying for. That is the happy result. YOU are paying for a responsible person to sit in a home void of any other responsible adult. A home they are not used to with all the creepy and creaky sounds it comes with. YOU are paying for that person to handle whatever emergency situation that arises, that means if a child falls off the bed, wakes up scared, wets the bed, throws up, etc. The babysitter usually calms the child and manages to get the child back to sleep. She might even change the linen in the crib or the bed, chase you down, or sit up with the child for the hour or two till you get home. AND in some cases that might mean holding a feverish and crying child for an hour or two.
So no you don’t pay them for SITTING ON THE COUCH. YOU are both lucky when most of the time that is the outcome. But you are really paying them for being the responsible adult in the home because you aren’t. And for $10 an hour you are getting away cheap.February 11, 2011 4:14 am at 4:14 am #739426
PBA, I will defend the rights of babysitters and the fact that they should be respected and treated appropriately. I agree with many of Rezdy’s points, however her attitude needs an adjustment, she is quite chuzpadik and if she would make her points without the attitude they would be accepted without so much rebuttal.February 11, 2011 4:22 am at 4:22 am #739427s2021Member
jsmile- it may be ur house- it doesnt change the fact thats its startling and scary and embarrasing for a young girl to be alone at night in a strange house when suddenly out of no where the door bursts open.. u wouldnt like it if it was done to u- justified or notFebruary 11, 2011 4:31 am at 4:31 am #739428msalovitzMember
can you tell me how much you pay a babysitter? Please also include how many children/ages you have. ThanksFebruary 11, 2011 4:37 am at 4:37 am #739429UnderstandMember
Who knew babysitting could be such a touchy subject. Quite a few good points (and a few angry ones). Rezdy, I hear where you are coming from, but you have to understand the 10:30. Seems all the HS girls in Lkwd go to sleep right on time. There are times I make over a dozen phone calls and still don’t have a sitter, or the sitter cancels the day before. I think most ppl who call that day, have been trying to get babysitters, and just don’t find them. Yes, we know its a “zechus” to have you come to our house, thats why we pay you, and leave you the phone and nash. I have lots to say about the things babysitters have done that have left me scratching my head but……. I guess I should just say TY for doing me the favor of coming 😉February 11, 2011 6:40 am at 6:40 am #739430HealthParticipant
Understand – I don’t think you “understand” what goes on here. Almost No High School girl here goes to sleep @10:30. The problem at lot times is a few people have taken advantage of coming back later than the time they said. So a lot of mothers tell the kids to just say 10:30.
“Yes, we know its a “zechus” to have you come to our house,
I guess I should just say TY for doing me the favor of coming”
Please don’t have this attitude because it’s very far from the truth. Also, posting this on a public blog just feeds some of these girl’s attitudes.February 11, 2011 6:48 am at 6:48 am #739431☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
I agree that Rezdy’s attitude comes across as chutzpah, but try to understand that she does not see any of the people she’s addressing, and is not used to treating a keyboard and screen as a human being.
Regarding another point you made about rates; your neighborhood probably has a much higher going rate than the typical rate in the neighborhoods of the other posters.
I hope you’re feeling ok.February 11, 2011 3:51 pm at 3:51 pm #739432
As far as the going rate is concerned, that obviously depends on the neighborhood. But whether it is a question of rate or whether you want to babysit or not, no one is forcing you to do what you don’t want to do or take a rate that you feel is too low. If you don’t want to babysit, don’t answer the phone if you don’t know how to say “no”. Tell your parents not to give you the phone or please help you by telling your friends “I don’t babysit”. If someone tries to pressure you tell them “I don’t like to babysit. Please don’t pressure me.” Don’t feel guilty you have a choice. But doing it and complaining about it is ridiculous.February 11, 2011 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #739433☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
I think most teenage girls (at least in my circles) are uncomfortable asking for money. It’s up to the children’s parents to either ask how much she takes (in which case she may still feel uncomfortable) or find out the going rate and do the proper thing.February 11, 2011 4:34 pm at 4:34 pm #739434UnderstandMember
Health, I was being sarcastic. I know the girls are up late and that it’s no “zechus”, but thats how the girls feel.February 11, 2011 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #7394351dayatatimeParticipant
This is not YOUR forum to chastise ANYONE
Don’t get too ahead of yourselfFebruary 11, 2011 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #739436
1dayatatime, excuse me, when a young lady comes to an adult forum to chastise the adults, she had better be prepared to be chastised herself. What’s your excuse?February 11, 2011 6:42 pm at 6:42 pm #739437
excuse me, when a young lady comes to an adult forum to chastise the adults
You make it seem as if that was something wrong. It wasn’t.February 11, 2011 6:46 pm at 6:46 pm #739439
Furthermore, if you choose to notice, I stood up for the young women who are babysitters and the issues they have with young parents, who do try to take advantage or do not respect them and the job they do. However, I do have a problem with chutzpah and stepping over proper boundaries. Just because you can hide behind anonymity that does not give you the license to be rude or chutzpadik. If you wouldn’t speak that way face to face don’t do it here either. And if you speak that way face to face don’t expect sympathy or respect from those you are speaking to and who are older than you.February 11, 2011 6:49 pm at 6:49 pm #739440
PBA, I disagree. It wasn’t the message she was delivering it was the delivery. Would you expect that or accept that from your daughter? I wouldn’t, nor would I from any of the teenagers I mentor. I would tell them if they wanted to get their message across and be taken seriously they would have to speak respectfully in order to be received and responded to in kind.February 11, 2011 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #739441
I equally disagree. Redzy is not your daughter.
I also have a slight problem with asking for deference, even when it is your kid or student.February 11, 2011 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #739442
Wolf, I did many times, and I backed up her points and points to respect ALL babysitters and their needs many times. The fact that some here just want to defend bad behavior is an oddity. Please review this thread and you will see just how many times I responded to the fact that sitters need to be respected and their issues need to be respected whether it is to pay them the going rate, or have the wife drive them home if that is what their inyan of tznius requires. All the issues that these girls have are valid and need to be worked out beforehand and never left to the last minute.
The fact that this particular young lady has a huge ego and throws her own bad attitude into this forum and some here keep defending her attitude instead of just her points is beyond comprehension. No, it is NOT OK to basically “yell” at others that ‘YOU PEOPLE” who beg me to come babysit for you don’t know how good you have it. I am so in demand you are lucky I even bother to come to you. These are MY rules and YOU “guys” need to follow them or I won’t choose to come watch your little brats anymore because I don’t like to babysit anyway, I only do it because you people annoy me to death the way you BEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG me to come, you are so pathetic. YOU people… you think I don’t have a life, well I do, but you keep stealing my life from me forcing me to babysit for you, like you going out with your friends is more important than me having fun with my friends…yada, yada, yada, yada………..how dare you come back to your own home and not call to warn me…. I was so comfortable I kicked off my shoes in the middle of the room and was just chillin and you caught me off guard…how embarrassing….I didn’t have a chance to pull myself together and make a better impression….you saw the real me….
Can you guys just re-read her posts and get a real true understanding of what I am saying. Maybe it is time she apologized and accepted the fact that she presented her case rudely and that many of us stood up for her points and not necessarily her attitude. I am not in the habit of accepting unacceptable behavior or making excuses for it. Sorry.February 11, 2011 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #739443
PBA, then we will just have to agree to disagree. ALL babysitters need to be respected. Having said that, ALL employers need to be respected as well. If you don’t like your employer especially if it is only a babysitting job, you have the option not to go back.February 13, 2011 12:48 am at 12:48 am #739444
im sorry that i even wrote something in the first place i guess i just didnt relize how chashuv yet SENSITIVE this crowd is. but i was just wanted to point out that lashon hora still applies in this coffee room. alot of you spoke about me OPENLY in a negetive light. please keep that in mind.February 13, 2011 1:42 am at 1:42 am #739445Lomed Mkol AdamMember
Aries: I was surprised after reading your post. You usually are at the forefront of judging other people lkaf zchus, so it’s surprising that you’ve chosen to take the side of criticism on this thread. I think there is plenty room to judge Rezdy’s comments as just being a dramatic reaction to her bad experiences and not at all a sign of chuzpah within her character.
As far as the issues are concerned, I feel that parents should knock upon returning to the house; it is uncomfortable for a baby sitter to have to be constantly on guard so as not to feel awkward at being walked in on while shoes are off etc. If you feel you don’t trust your babysitter enough, then you should not hire her to begin with.February 13, 2011 2:37 am at 2:37 am #739447
I have your back. I don’t understand aries’s criticism.February 13, 2011 6:17 am at 6:17 am #739450
Let us assume for a moment that Redzy should respect you. For whose benefit is that respect? For her of for you?
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