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    I’ll start;

    I stepped on a Corn Flake, now I’m a Cereal Killer


    Punch line only (joke is too long and stupid to copy here:

    Super-calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.


    Modaah:these are not mine

    1.Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

    2.I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

    3.I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    4.The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

    5.My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

    7.I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

    8.Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

    9.Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.


    1.A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

    One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.

    Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

    He responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

    2.Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.

    One says to the other, “Are you all right?”

    “No, I lost an electron.”

    “Are you sure?”

    “Yeah, I’m positive.”

    When does a boat show affection? When it hugs the shore.

    They arrested the Chrysler salesman and he couldn’t a-Ford bail.

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    I used to be a teacher, but found I didn’t have enough class.

    I tried looking for gold, but it didn’t pan out.

    Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

    Old milkmaids never die, they just lose their whey.

    What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    Every calendar’s days are numbered.

    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.

    What did Godzilla say after eating a four-cylinder Datsun? “Gosh, I could have had a V-8!”

    The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

    What did the toy store sign say? Don’t feed the animals. They are already stuffed.

    Person 1: How does Moses make his tea?

    Person 1: Hebrews it!

    Person 2: Jew kidding me.

    Person 1: No, Israeli how he makes it!

    Person 2: Are you Syrias?

    Person 1: I Canaan tell a lie!


    -Velcro, what a rip off!

    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


    What’s red and smells like blue paint? …Red paint

    What’s brown and sticky ?…. a stick

    A man had a very nice wooden car with a wooden roof and wooden engine but there was one problem… it wooden go!


    Where do generals keep their armies?

    – Up their sleevies!

    Why did the sunken ship shiver on the ocean floor?

    – It was a nervous wreck!

    Why couldn’t the bike stand by itself?

    – It was two tired!

    ☕️coffee addict

    A Czechoslovakian and a Frenchman went bear hunting and they haven’t been heard from for two days. They send out the search patrol and they find two bears (a male and female bear) with full stomachs, so the cut them open. First they cut open the female and find the Frenchman inside. So they concluded one thing and one thing only,

    The Czech was in the male

    And the father of all corny jokes is………



    I don’t chap.

    ☕️coffee addict


    which one?


    When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.

    How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.

    When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    What part of a cemetery is best for burying guns? The muzzleum.

    What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A pachydermatologist.

    Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

    Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.

    My cavity wasn’t fixed by my regular dentist, but by a guy who was filling in.

    Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.

    I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, ‘no, the steaks are too high.’


    Haha, these jokes are really punny!


    Never believe what an atom says. They make everything up!


    Never believe what mascara says. They make up everything.


    Make the jacket first.

    He’s all right.

    Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.


    You’re one the internet. Use the google.

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