Bar Mitzvah Seforim Gift Ideas

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  • #617185

    Joseph
    Participant

    What Seforim be a good Bar Mitzvah gift? And how does giving seforim compare to other Bar Mitzvah gift possibilities?

    #1136931

    yitzyk
    Participant

    It depends on the giver and the recipient. A very wealthy person can give a set of seforim, while a person of lesser means can give an individual but still meaningful sefer. Seforim are less appropriate coming from a person who never looks at them, or going to a boy who will never look at them. Coming from a chosuvah talmid chochom, it is seen as a personal recommendation and endorsement for the bar mitzvah boy to read that particular sefer.

    If you feel that the bochur will use the sefer, (even if not for a few years) a sefer is a good idea. If he is a lamdun, a less common but still heard of sefer is okay. If he is less knowledgable, more modern, or non-scholarly, an English sefer or even a book might be more useful. Some ideas might include:

    – Rabbi Ribiat’s 39 Melochos 4-volume set (useful but not cheap)

    – Rabbi Bodner’s Brochos Guide

    – Any new Biography

    – Amazing Facts (book 4? just came out)

    – Artscroll Rashi (small, medium, large)

    – Artscroll Shas (just kidding)

    – Many new seforim and books come out every month. Anything that ‘just came out’ is safe to assume that he does not have it yet.

    I am sure that any decent seforim store can assess you and your description of the recipient, and make a few recommendations.

    Of course the bottom line is, anything you give ought to be appreciated, and it doesn’t matter that much what you give.

    #1136932

    ytejewboy
    Participant

    give him a video game or money

    #1136933

    ABS-SA
    Participant

    If the local Torah bookstore is having a sale on Mesilas Yesharim, it is best not to give it, because the Bar Mitzvah boy may get twenty copies and feel like people are trying to tell him something!

    #1136934

    TheGoq
    Participant

    Hmm shouldn’t we first ask if giving a bar mitzvah gift is allowed? i know the op did not ask about this but I’ve decided that’s what this thread is gonna be about.

    #1136935

    Joseph
    Participant

    Mishna Brura seems to be the most given set of seforim at a Bar Mitzvah.

    #1136936

    squeak
    Participant

    The brisker rav used to give his sefarim to bar mitzvah boys and hide a $50 bill in the pages (in those days a lot of money). A few months later he would visit the boy’s house ostensibly to look at the shelves of new sefarim he had amassed. He would then open the sefer he had given and take back the $50. Never once had the boy actually opened the sefer. Moral of the story?

    #1136937

    Joseph
    Participant

    He should’ve put it on an earlier page.

    #1136938

    ubiquitin
    Participant

    Lol @ TheGoq

    when the minhag of giving christian confirmation gifts at a Bar mitzvah start?

    Squeak

    “Moral of the story?”

    That the Brisker Rav’s seforim are above the level of a 13 year old?

    that people believe all sorts of nonsensical stories?

    #1136939

    mazal77
    Participant

    As the mother of a few boys, I say give money. After the last bar mitzvah, we are surrounded by seforim, that will probably will not be opened as we have own quite a few copies of them. We have no additional shelf space and the seforim are in every nook and cranny, in corners all over the house. Let us say, we got swamped but the amount of seforim as gifts. And, no I do not do re-gifting. We appreciated the personalized gifts, like belts, cufflinks, garment bag, travel bag, toiletry bag, robe. Those are some nice ideas, other then seformim.

    #1136940

    flatbusher
    Participant

    Some of the suggestions mentioned above are pretty common and the bar mitzvah boy can end up with more than one set. What I find to be a good gift and one that is not commonly given are seforim focusing on tefilah. It’s good even for a boy who is not such a strong learner and everyone davens.

    #1136941

    screwdriverdelight
    Participant

    1) The Brisker Rav lived in Eretz Yisroel. Why would he have $50 bills?

    2) If he gave it, how may he take it back?

    3) Why would he put in a $50 bill and not a $1 (or a piece of paper, or hair, for that matter)?–or was the point that the money could be kept, but only if he uses it?

    4) How does the fact that the bill was still there prove that he never opened it?

    5) A lot of people have a lot of s’forim which they use only from time to time. The fact that after a few months, the boy was still finishing shas and hadn’t yet the opportunity to peruse the Rav’s Seifer doesn’t mean anything. If the seifer had been opened, we would be hearing something about our dor where 13 year old boys are learning Brisker Ravs before they know anything else.

    #1136942

    Shiurim
    Member

    – The Brisker Rov’s seforim were published posthumously.

    – Minchas Chinuch is always popular, along with the Ketzos, and seforim like that. The Bar Mitzvah Bochur doesn’t need to use the seforim the day he turns 13; they will stay with him his whole life.

    #1136943

    funnybone
    Participant

    Yankel Miller says he likes instead of seforim to give an umbrella; he’s sure that one day it’ll rain and the boy will open it.

    #1136945

    flatbusher
    Participant

    Mazal77: I really didn’t think about it but what you say makes a lot of sense. I knew someone who had a whole room just filled with their sons’ BM seforim, and true too form, most were never used.

    #1136946

    apushatayid
    Participant

    So thats why there arent many people who own a copy of the Gri’z in “stenslach”.

    #1136947

    squeak
    Participant

    You are all excellent at seeing trees. Now here’s a secret. If you climb up and look over them you will be able to see there is a forest. I either made up the story entirely or I altered some details to protect the innocent. Now try again – if you wish – to find a moral in the story.

    #1136948

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    The moral of the story is that squeak is the protector of the innocent.

    #1136949

    squeak
    Participant

    <bows>

    #1136950

    homer
    Member

    Shearim B’Tefilah

    #1136951

    apushatayid
    Participant

    So squeak is a mechaber seforim too? When did you sneak into homes to retrieve your cash.

    #1136952

    screwdriverdelight
    Participant

    You are all excellent at seeing trees. Now here’s a secret. If you climb up and look over them you will be able to see there is a forest.

    Wow. I used to like you, Squeak.

    #1136953

    Joseph
    Participant

    Cut him some slack. He’s gotten older.

    #1136954

    mobico
    Participant

    I like to give a R’ Chaim al ha’Rambam or a Meshech Chochma.

    #1136955

    dovrosenbaum
    Participant

    How about Ve Ha’arev Na, or Chashukei Chemed by Rav Zilbershtein? These are easy to read maasiyos on the parsha that teach over a lot of halacha le ma’aseh

    #1136956

    squeak
    Participant

    I never knew, so how am I now to properly feel the loss? I feel like a ger on his first tisha bav.

    Let’s start over. Tell me how to make you like me again, and then I can repost my forest/trees comment so that you can stop liking me and make it count.

    #1136957

    The Queen
    Participant

    Ask the Bar Mitzvah boy what he wants, within a price range, this way you know your gift will be appropriate and appreciated. BTW I do this when buying a baby gift as well.

    #1136958

    squeak
    Participant

    And what do the babies usually tell you they’d like to get?

    #1136959

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    And what do the babies usually tell you they’d like to get?

    A set of R’ Shimons.

    #1136961

    The Queen
    Participant

    The babies need to grow up and have a baby before they get asked.

    #1136962

    screwdriverdelight
    Participant
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