Beeblebrox Inc. Returns
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Tagged: Zaphod was here
- This topic has 17 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks, 2 days ago by Zaphod Beeblebrox.
March 2, 2023 9:47 pm at 9:47 pm #2170919
Ok, so I feel like a I owe a bit of an explanation. I posted a topic recently, in which I offered my services, and then I didn’t follow through. But, in staying true to myself, I refuse unequivocally to take any responsibility upon myself, and instead, I will blame my filter company. Apparently there was something in my previous thread which made them block it. So I emailed them. Several times. And each time, they said that they looked into it, that I was absolutely right, and that they had unblocked it. Only they didn’t. So the cycle continued. However, I do recognize that it is my duty to make good on my word, and I am therefore now responding and giving out my services on this thread instead. I have made an effort to reply to each of your requests, and further requests will be fulfilled when I find some time in which I have absolutely nothing better to do.
If you would like to see the original requests, please refer to my previously started topic, identifiable by its initials RoD, which is for some reason still on the first page. All further requests should be submitted (in writing, duh) on this thread.
Mods, please let these go through, I got a little something coming your way, you’ll see what I mean.
Thank you for your continued and completely unrealistic faith in Beeblebrox Inc. We look forward to yelling at you, and we will make sure to answer all customer service questions in a heavy accent, so that you know you’re getting the full experience.March 2, 2023 10:01 pm at 10:01 pm #2170925
Thank you for your continued patronage. But I’m not gonna give you money for saving my life. If you’re only gonna save me for money, then you’re entitled to no monetary compensation. What kind of world are we living in, where people are only looking out for themselves? Where everything is a pro vs. a con? Where one actually has to stop and think before helping someone in need, in order to ascertain precisely what personal gain he will derive from it? It disgusts me. I’m vomiting. Truly, we all need some serious introspection into what has led to this sorry state of affairs. We must search deep in our collective souls, so that we may rectify this horrific shortcoming.
I hope that answers your question.March 2, 2023 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #2170926
Sophistry is not bad. Just because you don’t appreciate it when you can’t refute someone’s clearly wrong argument, that doesn’t make it a bad thing. Because who said that they’re wrong in the first place? If you can’t refute somebody, maybe they have a point.
Additionally, I’m not going to argue against one of my favorite hobbies. Sophistry is essential to the development of the logic and reasoning portions of the brain, and even if it wasn’t, I really enjoy it.
And don’t even get me started on what’s Bad For The Jews. If you ask the right, people, apparently every single action and event is Bad for the Jews. Politicians? Bad for the Jews. Money? Bad for the Jews. Lack of money? Bad for the Jews. Movies, other people, dogs, cats, scientists, chassidus, misnagdim, drinking, sobriety, media, lack of information, Bad for the Jews. Need I go on? Too bad. I’m not going to. Everything is Bad if you’re a pessimist. Dr. Zaphod’s prescription: don’t be a pessimist.March 2, 2023 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #2170930
I don’t know why you seem to be under the impression that I have the time or interest to go through your countless ramblings. You want disrespect? Well, that’s something that has to be earned. You can’t just walk up to somebody and say “hey you, with the two heads, roast me”. That’s not how this works. This isn’t the laugh factory. Do I look like a comedian? Maybe you’d know the answer to that if you got your head out of the sand, and stopped burying yourself in your absurd notions of ridiculous entitlement. Stop burying your head! It makes it hard to see.
Furthermore, when you say that posters are shying away from criticism, you imply that there is criticism to be made. Who are you to insult yourself like that? That’s my job. Stick to your job, whatever on earth that may be. Stupid entitled millennials. There, I called you old, is that insulting enough for you? Are you happy now, you diseased masochist? The sheer arrogance. Gosh.March 2, 2023 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #2170932
Before I get into it, I’d like to point out one thing. You didn’t forget his name. Nobody forgot his name. I’ve met people who don’t speak English, who’ve never even stepped foot in America, and who have no access to internet or media, and they know his name. So what’s up with that? Cut the garbage. Additionally his hair is not orange. His hair is blond. I know what orange hair looks like, believe me. Orange hair is the best hair, better than all the other hair colors, I’m telling you. There are millions and millions of people who wish that they could have orange or red hair, but they can’t. His skin, however, does have a bit of an orange tint, I’ll grant you that.
Ok. Whew. Against my better judgment (yeah right), here we go. There was a time when he was exactly what this country needed. He was arguably one of the best presidents for the Jews in recent history. And now he’s toast. Over, done, kaput. Something after the election snapped and he became bitter, even more self centered (somehow), and most importantly, wildly vengeful. He’s unstable. If he were to regain power today, then he probably wouldn’t get a single thing done, because he’d be too busy exacting revenge on every person who he ever thought wronged him. He would make a terrible president. Additionally, after keeping the company that he has recently, it’s easy to see that he is slowly becoming more and more right wing. You can’t just apologize and explain everything away.
Fine. So why is continuing support for him Bad for the Jews? Because everything has got to be bad for the Jews for some reason. It can’t just be objectively bad, oh no, that’s not good enough. Whatever, I’ll make an effort. Two reasons. First, it’s a bad idea for us to support someone who hangs around with neo-nazis. If you can’t figure out why, you’re dumb, and I’m not wasting my time explaining it. Second, there is no chance at all that he will win the general election. None. A small chipmunk could run against him, and that small chipmunk would win in a landslide. I don’t care if he has Gandhi as his running mate. It’s not happening. So, let’s assume we all support him, and then he loses to someone who will undoubtedly be very far removed from him. Now the whole world sees us as the type of people who publicly support someone who is widely considered to be racist, misogynist, sexist, and narcissist(ic), along with any other word ending in “ist” that you care to mention. And that looks very bad for us. Because now we are viewed as those things. And they already don’t like us very much, and this gives them further excuse not to like us, which is something we don’t want because they make the laws, and have more guns. Chipmunk for Prez.March 2, 2023 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #2170928
No. No no no no no, no no no. I refuse to stoop to the level of those who pretend to be original thinkers, and are instead having their words spoon fed to them by a computer program that doesn’t even understand what it’s saying. Those people are sheep. I am not a sheep. You wanna know how I know that? Because I have thumbs, that’s how. Sheep don’t have thumbs. They’re too lazy to even type the URL in themselves, they just yell at Siri to tell AI to write something for them. Stupid sheep. People who use AI in any way other than facetiously are the reason that the world is as messed up and generally lazy that it is. They will cause the apocalypse. They will destroy the world with their stupidity. I will not be complicit in such a stupid ending to the world.March 2, 2023 10:05 pm at 10:05 pm #2170934
There’s a law? That explains so much. Although it would make sense that I’m above it. I’m far to froody to be bound by the restraints applicable to mere Man, Vogon, other assorted anthropoids etc. To be honest, from my angle, being above the law doesn’t seem so terrible at all.March 2, 2023 10:06 pm at 10:06 pm #2170933
Personally, I appreciate the mods very much. I appreciate anyone who allows me to disseminate my thoughts to a wider audience, and the mods definitely fall into that category. For that, I thank them. In their honor, I have composed this short poem.
Thine courage doth shame the most valiant
Of Men, For
Were it not for thee,
The masses should fall into silence,
And I would be obscure.
The sacrifices that thou
Shall be regaled for aeons yet to dawn,
For thou are lionhearted,
Battered, by the gales of vituperative indignation.
For the way of the Mod
Yet lonely is his Path.March 2, 2023 10:06 pm at 10:06 pm #2170927
I’d like to point out that when I saw your post, it made me mad. Who are you to presume what is and what isn’t funny? Now, by writing that, you offered up the opportunity to rant about subjective humor, which means that now there is something to rant about, which that by virtue of writing your post, you have rendered your post incorrect. Yeah. Think about that. Ponder it. How’s that for sophistry.March 2, 2023 10:07 pm at 10:07 pm #2170929ujmParticipant
One thing you didn’t clarify in your previous posts is what time of the day, each afternoon, you are dismissed from high school.March 4, 2023 7:53 pm at 7:53 pm #2171061hashem says noParticipant
@ ujm are you by any chance on any most wanted watchlists?March 6, 2023 5:07 pm at 5:07 pm #2171627ParticipantParticipant
omg i’m rolling. Thanks. what does sophistry mean?March 8, 2023 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm #2171967n0mesorahParticipant
Sophistry is synonymous with magic.March 8, 2023 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm #2171968n0mesorahParticipant
Great Job, Beeble!
This should be habitually bumped for the next year.March 9, 2023 11:39 pm at 11:39 pm #2172486
You know exactly what time we get dismissed, Rebbi. I thought we agreed that you’d stop cyber bullying me if I didn’t tell the Menahel that you drink behind the dumpsters during recess. I’m putting thumbtacks in your chair tomorrow.
Mom, stop calling my Rebbi a criminal, it makes classes very uncomfortable for me.March 9, 2023 11:41 pm at 11:41 pm #2172488
You’re very welcome! Thank you for using Beeblebrox Inc., and we hope to see you again. Your support is much appreciated.
The position of Thread-Bumper is currently open, due to some recent staffing changes. If you’d like to apply, please send your résumé’ to any address, in a Manila envelope marked Langley, PGGB. The postal service will take care of the rest.
Additionally, that’s not at all what sophistry means, but I’m guessing that was the joke. If it wasn’t, well, now someone’s being critical of your posts at last.March 10, 2023 6:13 am at 6:13 am #2172512amiricanyeshivishParticipant
Beebble you are really talented. Do you give lessons?March 10, 2023 6:13 am at 6:13 am #2172513amiricanyeshivishParticipant
btw Beeblebrox sounds right out of Dr Suess. But what’s the Zaphod peice about?March 10, 2023 7:55 am at 7:55 am #2172530
I do give lessons. I’m not sure what it is you’re trying to learn, but I can probably show you how not to do it, at the very least.
Not really sure what your second question means, it’s simply my name. I am Zaphod Beeblebrox I. My father was Zaphod Beeblebrox II, and my grandfather was Zaphod Beeblebrox III. It’s a very old and disreputable family name.March 10, 2023 10:38 am at 10:38 am #2172499
Btw Mods, what’d you think of my poem? Loved it!
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