Beeblebrox Inc. Returns

@yserbius123
Sophistry is not bad. Just because you don’t appreciate it when you can’t refute someone’s clearly wrong argument, that doesn’t make it a bad thing. Because who said that they’re wrong in the first place? If you can’t refute somebody, maybe they have a point.

Additionally, I’m not going to argue against one of my favorite hobbies. Sophistry is essential to the development of the logic and reasoning portions of the brain, and even if it wasn’t, I really enjoy it.

And don’t even get me started on what’s Bad For The Jews. If you ask the right, people, apparently every single action and event is Bad for the Jews. Politicians? Bad for the Jews. Money? Bad for the Jews. Lack of money? Bad for the Jews. Movies, other people, dogs, cats, scientists, chassidus, misnagdim, drinking, sobriety, media, lack of information, Bad for the Jews. Need I go on? Too bad. I’m not going to. Everything is Bad if you’re a pessimist. Dr. Zaphod’s prescription: don’t be a pessimist.

@yechiell
Before I get into it, I’d like to point out one thing. You didn’t forget his name. Nobody forgot his name. I’ve met people who don’t speak English, who’ve never even stepped foot in America, and who have no access to internet or media, and they know his name. So what’s up with that? Cut the garbage. Additionally his hair is not orange. His hair is blond. I know what orange hair looks like, believe me. Orange hair is the best hair, better than all the other hair colors, I’m telling you. There are millions and millions of people who wish that they could have orange or red hair, but they can’t. His skin, however, does have a bit of an orange tint, I’ll grant you that.

Ok. Whew. Against my better judgment (yeah right), here we go. There was a time when he was exactly what this country needed. He was arguably one of the best presidents for the Jews in recent history. And now he’s toast. Over, done, kaput. Something after the election snapped and he became bitter, even more self centered (somehow), and most importantly, wildly vengeful. He’s unstable. If he were to regain power today, then he probably wouldn’t get a single thing done, because he’d be too busy exacting revenge on every person who he ever thought wronged him. He would make a terrible president. Additionally, after keeping the company that he has recently, it’s easy to see that he is slowly becoming more and more right wing. You can’t just apologize and explain everything away.

Fine. So why is continuing support for him Bad for the Jews? Because everything has got to be bad for the Jews for some reason. It can’t just be objectively bad, oh no, that’s not good enough. Whatever, I’ll make an effort. Two reasons. First, it’s a bad idea for us to support someone who hangs around with neo-nazis. If you can’t figure out why, you’re dumb, and I’m not wasting my time explaining it. Second, there is no chance at all that he will win the general election. None. A small chipmunk could run against him, and that small chipmunk would win in a landslide. I don’t care if he has Gandhi as his running mate. It’s not happening. So, let’s assume we all support him, and then he loses to someone who will undoubtedly be very far removed from him. Now the whole world sees us as the type of people who publicly support someone who is widely considered to be racist, misogynist, sexist, and narcissist(ic), along with any other word ending in “ist” that you care to mention. And that looks very bad for us. Because now we are viewed as those things. And they already don’t like us very much, and this gives them further excuse not to like us, which is something we don’t want because they make the laws, and have more guns. Chipmunk for Prez.

@catchyourself
There’s a law? That explains so much. Although it would make sense that I’m above it. I’m far to froody to be bound by the restraints applicable to mere Man, Vogon, other assorted anthropoids etc. To be honest, from my angle, being above the law doesn’t seem so terrible at all.

@huju
I’d like to point out that when I saw your post, it made me mad. Who are you to presume what is and what isn’t funny? Now, by writing that, you offered up the opportunity to rant about subjective humor, which means that now there is something to rant about, which that by virtue of writing your post, you have rendered your post incorrect. Yeah. Think about that. Ponder it. How’s that for sophistry.

@ujm
You know exactly what time we get dismissed, Rebbi. I thought we agreed that you’d stop cyber bullying me if I didn’t tell the Menahel that you drink behind the dumpsters during recess. I’m putting thumbtacks in your chair tomorrow.

@hashemsaysno
Mom, stop calling my Rebbi a criminal, it makes classes very uncomfortable for me.

@amiricanyeshivish
I do give lessons. I’m not sure what it is you’re trying to learn, but I can probably show you how not to do it, at the very least.

Not really sure what your second question means, it’s simply my name. I am Zaphod Beeblebrox I. My father was Zaphod Beeblebrox II, and my grandfather was Zaphod Beeblebrox III. It’s a very old and disreputable family name.

@n0mesorah

To answer your question, we must first determine several factors. What kind of kugel? When is the kugel being eaten? What, cosmically speaking, is a kugel in the first place? A kugel can be defined as a conglomeration of disparate ingredients combined and blended to form a pudding like substance. The primary ingredient may vary, but potatoes have traditionally been cast as the titular role by everyone except hippies, the kind of people who think that pineapple chicken is an acceptable alternative to cholent. It isn’t. Cholent cannot be replaced ever. But some people appear to have gotten the idea that kugel is on the same level as cholent, simply because they share the characteristic of being served on shabbos (or Tuesday, depending on which demographic you belong to). In this way we can compare college to a kugel. College is cool. It’s useful, and we are willing to exploit that usefulness to serve our needs. At the same time, we understand that it is secondary to actual higher education, yeshiva. So too, kugel is useful. We appreciate it. We sometimes even enjoy it. But always we remember that it comes second to that king of foods, that gastronomical delight, the nectar of the bochurim, the ambrosia of the Jews, cholent. Cholent is the yeshiva to kugels college.

Also, you never sent the resume. We would have known. We know all, and we know that you never mailed in you resume. So we did not respond.