Home › Forums › Bais Medrash › Minhagim › Beha"b
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October 23, 2011 1:30 pm at 1:30 pm #600101taking a breakMember
on shabbos i was with my sisters, neighbors and neighbors’ friends (age range 15-20). the topic got to beha”b and one of the girls said she heard about it in elementary school from a principal that its in case you accidently bumped into a male cousin. i had learned about it in seminary that its for kalos rosh during the Y”T and if s/o ch”v let loose. but i learned it that its just for men. is what she said wrong or just really frum?
basically, it boils down to a few questions. who is behab for (men, woman both) what’s it for, does e/o do it etc.
October 23, 2011 2:21 pm at 2:21 pm #820526soliekMemberBehab is the Hebrew word for yeti
October 23, 2011 2:39 pm at 2:39 pm #820527taking a breakMemberbeha”b as in Bais Hey Bais-monday thursday monday
October 23, 2011 2:59 pm at 2:59 pm #820528popa_bar_abbaParticipantand one of the girls said she heard about it in elementary school from a principal that its in case you accidently bumped into a male cousin.
Brilliant. So now, not only did the principal totally make something up, but also gave over a message that you somehow need teshuva for accidentally bumping into your cousin. Nice.
In other news, when a rebbi teaches something wrong in the torah, you are supposed to stab them with a spear, as the gemara says in Baba Basra 21b http://hebrewbooks.org/shas.aspx?mesechta=23&daf=21b&format=pdf
October 23, 2011 3:10 pm at 3:10 pm #820529Dr. SeussMembertab: What does “bumped into a male cousin” mean?
October 23, 2011 3:24 pm at 3:24 pm #820530mos yumosMemberthere’s no issur to do teshuvah.
October 23, 2011 3:42 pm at 3:42 pm #820531taking a breakMemberthat was the example my neighbor told me that the principal told her. the way i understood it was if a girl accidentally touches her cousin b/c they bumped into each other, she needs to do ‘behab’ as the principal explained. does it make more sense now?
October 23, 2011 3:43 pm at 3:43 pm #820532ItcheSrulikMemberpopa: However if he says something wrong in torah while claiming infallibility, he is a navi sheker and must be strangled instead.
October 23, 2011 3:53 pm at 3:53 pm #820533popa_bar_abbaParticipantpopa: However if he says something wrong in torah while claiming infallibility, he is a navi sheker and must be strangled instead.
itche: I’m getting kind of annoyed by your harping on the infallibility bit.
Yes, we know that nobody is infallible, and we know that is not a torah hashkafa.
We also know that there are many times we follow our leaders as if they were just about infallible. For example, when there was a sanhedrin, their decisions would be koveah halacha, even if completely wrong in an objective sense.
But the real issue is, that you are using this as a way of framing the debate over whether rabbonim are bound to follow “gedolim”.
I don’t think this is the proper way to frame it, since I don’t think anybody imagines that rabbonim are bound to follow “gedolim” because “gedolim” are infallible.
You are never going to convince me, if we aren’t arguing on shared premises.
October 23, 2011 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #820534mos yumosMember“In other news, when a rebbi teaches something wrong in the torah, you are supposed to stab them with a spear, as the gemara says in Baba Basra 21b”
The pasuk says sword, not spear.
October 23, 2011 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #820535mos yumosMemberpopa is infallible, didn’t you know?
October 23, 2011 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #820536midwesternerParticipantSakva d’shata rigla.
October 23, 2011 5:22 pm at 5:22 pm #820537yitayningwutParticipantWe also know that there are many times we follow our leaders as if they were just about infallible. For example, when there was a sanhedrin, their decisions would be koveah halacha, even if completely wrong in an objective sense.
Ha gufa. Since they were kovea halacha right and wrong were irrelevant. Which is absolutely inapplicable to our time, when our leaders do not have that power.
October 23, 2011 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm #820538ItcheSrulikMemberpopa: I’ve given up on having a serious discussion. Let’s go back to the korban todah
October 23, 2011 5:32 pm at 5:32 pm #820539popa_bar_abbaParticipantpopa: I’ve given up on having a serious discussion. Let’s go back to the korban todah
I didn’t bring a “todah”, because my rav said I didn’t need to bench gomel.
October 23, 2011 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #820540yitayningwutParticipantHaha
October 23, 2011 5:43 pm at 5:43 pm #820541popa_bar_abbaParticipantHa gufa. Since they were kovea halacha right and wrong were irrelevant. Which is absolutely inapplicable to our time, when our leaders do not have that power.
So maybe that was a bad example.
The point I was trying to make, is that there is a strong element that we trust talmidei chachamim to make the correct decisions, and we don’t take full individual responsibility for every decision we make.
This is apparent every time you ask any rav a shaila in halacha and do what he says, even though you have no idea whether it is correct or not.
October 23, 2011 5:46 pm at 5:46 pm #820542ItcheSrulikMemberBut what about pesukei d’zimrah?
October 23, 2011 5:48 pm at 5:48 pm #820543popa_bar_abbaParticipantBut what about pesukei d’zimrah?
My goy quit when I told him we were doing the shirah also, and that I was able to play the yidden so he could be the mitzriyim.
October 23, 2011 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #820544yitayningwutParticipantThis is apparent every time you ask any rav a shaila in halacha and do what he says, even though you have no idea whether it is correct or not.
Yes. But that is exactly why I ask and follow blindly, because I acknowledge that have no idea. If I am fully convinced one way over the other, I wouldn’t follow blindly.
October 23, 2011 5:57 pm at 5:57 pm #820545popa_bar_abbaParticipantYes. But that is exactly why I ask and follow blindly, because I acknowledge that have no idea. If I am fully convinced one way over the other, I wouldn’t follow blindly.
Right. I was pointing out that we can all agree on that concept, and that any issue of dispute will incorporate agreement on this general concept.
October 23, 2011 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm #820546yitayningwutParticipantOk. Back to the Todah.
October 23, 2011 7:27 pm at 7:27 pm #820547ItcheSrulikMemberIf you shecht the Todah sitting, is it pasul?
October 23, 2011 7:49 pm at 7:49 pm #820548Sam2ParticipantWhy wouldn’t it be? Any Korban is Pasul if Shechted sitting, isn’t it?
October 23, 2011 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #820549midwesternerParticipantUvasa el hakohein, v’el hashofet asher yihye bayamim hahem. Can someone go to a shofet that is not b’yamav? Ela lelamed sheYiftach b’doro k’Shmuel b’doro.
October 23, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #820550yitayningwutParticipantHey I just wrote that on another thread!
October 23, 2011 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm #820551ItcheSrulikMemberSam2: Are you sure?
October 23, 2011 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #820552midwesternerParticipantLaamod leshares ksiv.
October 23, 2011 9:41 pm at 9:41 pm #820553midwesternerParticipantYitayna: I don’t know if you were responding to me, but I was very much responding to what you said that it is not applicable nowadays.
“Which is absolutely inapplicable to our time, when our leaders do not have that power.”
The issue is not psak halacha. It is listening to the gedolim asher yihye bayamim hahem.
October 23, 2011 9:41 pm at 9:41 pm #820554ItcheSrulikMemberYes, but shchita is also the only avoda kosher with a zar, in bigdei chol, and with kavanos that would make it pigul during any other avoda. IIRC, sitting is also on the list. I was hoping someone would call me on hte trick question.
October 23, 2011 9:56 pm at 9:56 pm #820555matziv chapperMemberwhat if u shecht the todah on behab? can u eat it?
October 23, 2011 11:41 pm at 11:41 pm #820556midwesternerParticipantI agree with R’ Itche on Zar and bigdei chol, but not on Piggul. Sitting is not on that list.
October 23, 2011 11:58 pm at 11:58 pm #820557ItcheSrulikMembermatziv chapper: As of now I’ll say yes. Haven’t decided if I’m fasting or not yet.
October 24, 2011 1:56 am at 1:56 am #820558yitayningwutParticipantmidwesterner –
??? ???? ????? ??? refers to the psak of the Beis Din Hagadol. See the Ramban on the pasuk. Yiftach and Shmuel both had the power through their respective Batei Din that Moshe and Aharon did. We don’t.
October 24, 2011 6:24 am at 6:24 am #820559YW Moderator-42ModeratorWow, that was one of the most random threads I ever read, I think you should all fast BeHaB for this leitzanus
October 24, 2011 6:28 am at 6:28 am #820560YW Moderator-42ModeratorOn a more serious note, I have heard that the reason for BeHaB is to do teshuva for any kalus rosh that may have occurred during the Yom Tov when there is more chance for mingling of opposite genders. I have never heard any differentiation between men and women but ont he other hand I have never heard of women doing BeHaB. For that matter, I have never heard of anyone who has actually fasted on BeHaB but I do know that some yeshivas say the selichos, I think that they say that fasting would cause bittul Torah so it’s better for yeshiva guys not to fast but that doesn’t mean you can’t daven.
October 24, 2011 12:20 pm at 12:20 pm #820561taking a breakMemberFinally! Thank you mod 42 for answering. That’s basically what I wanted yo know.
October 24, 2011 2:23 pm at 2:23 pm #820562miritchkaMemberok, can someone clarify please? what is BeHaB? I am so confused? Is it Mon, Thurs, Mon? Touching a cousin? A korban? A fast? Mingling?
October 24, 2011 6:51 pm at 6:51 pm #820563BTGuyParticipantBeHab? Ohhhh! I thought the person had to go to ReHab! I was thinking why go to rehab for bumping into your cousin? So what is this Behab?
October 24, 2011 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #820564YW Moderator-42ModeratorIt is a Monday, Thursday, Monday. This year it starts 2 weeks from today. Some fast, some say selichos, some do both, some do neither. It is supposed to be teshuva for aveiros done over Yom Tov.
October 24, 2011 8:03 pm at 8:03 pm #820565oot for lifeParticipant42 – i believe it starts a week from today, rosh chodesh is friday-shabbos
October 24, 2011 8:09 pm at 8:09 pm #820566matziv chapperMemberjust wanted to add to YW Moderator-42
Most People nowadays dont actually fast, although there are kehilos that still say the Mi Shebeirach on shabbos for those that do fast.
Also, the slichos is really only said in Yeshivos and kollelim ( I think, correct me if i am wrong)
and sefaradim dont have it at all.
And Yekkes start it later than the others,-about 2 weeks later- because they want the first monday to fall around Kristalnacht
October 24, 2011 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #820567BaalHaboozeParticipantBeHa”b is done twice a year. The first Mon-Thur-Mon of the month of Cheshvon, and Iyar. Since these months come after the big Yomim Tovim in the months preceding them. It is basically selichos (appears in most standard siddurim) that are said by shacharis.
October 24, 2011 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #820568A Sheep without a SpleenMemberAnd Yekkes start it later than the others,-about 2 weeks later- because they want the first monday to fall around Kristalnacht
Is that really true?? Sounds a little funny to move a minhag.
October 24, 2011 9:51 pm at 9:51 pm #820569ItcheSrulikMemberHas anyone noticed that the people who fast behab are usually the ones who need it the least?
42: I have a friend who fasts every year. Last couple of years I went to slichos with him and I’m thinking of fasting this year too. If I do you’ll “know” at least one person who fasts.
October 25, 2011 10:53 am at 10:53 am #820570old manParticipantThere are two reasons that Behab is delayed for two weeks. One is that it should not be observed during the happy months of Tishrei and Nisan. Two is to give the olei regel time to get home. Similarly, we wait till 7 Marheshvan to start saying tal u’matar, so that olei regel can get home without getting drenched by gishmei brachah.
October 25, 2011 1:47 pm at 1:47 pm #820571Sam2ParticipantOld Man: That’s a nice idea, but cannot be true. Olei Regel wouldn’t be fasting Behab because this Minhag started well after Churban Habayis (I think).
October 25, 2011 2:20 pm at 2:20 pm #820572miritchkaMemberA sheep without a spleen: Although this is the first time i’m hearing of “BeHaB”, yekkes (or anyone else for that matter) dont move a minhag, they just have a different one.
October 25, 2011 9:56 pm at 9:56 pm #820573YW Moderator-42ModeratorIt pushed off to the 2nd Monday of Cheshvan this year. I think this is because Shabbos is Rosh Chodesh so we don’t say the Mi Shebeirach on Rosh Chodesh. I know that the one after Pesach is often pushed off because of Pesach Sheini or something.
October 26, 2011 8:20 am at 8:20 am #820574old manParticipantYes, it is illogical to assume that Behab as we know it existed in the times of the Beis Hamikdosh. My suggestion is based on two assumptions:
One is that the underpinnings of the concept of Behab originated in zman hamikdosh, when olei haregel came to Yerushalayim in large (?) numbers and it was likely that afterwards there was a need for teshuvah for reasons that are known. The second assumption is that in the times of the mikdosh there actually was some sort of tshuvah act or ceremony after Succos and Pesach parallel (but obviously not identical) to the later development of Behab.
If this is true, then this post-chag tshuvah would definitely have been postponed until the olei regel arrived home two weeks or so later. And so it remains today.
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