Behave Yourself

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  • #597551
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    .. they all tell me (wonder why).

    Problem is they don’t tell me HOW to behave.

    #779156
    shein
    Member

    What were you doing immediately preceding being given this advice?

    #779157
    bombmaniac
    Participant

    lol thats been a pet peeve of mine for a while. when an adult yells BEHAVE!!! they dont understand that they arent specifying exactly ion which manner they expect you to behave 😛

    #779158
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    shein:

    What I was doing?! (not so shein, not so zees) Why do you ask?

    #779159
    123bubby
    Participant

    behave urself, by NOT being on the internet all day!!!LOL!!!!

    #779160
    m in Israel
    Member

    Hope you don’t mind if I hijack a humorous thread with a serious comment. I heard this from Dr. Rona Novick, and it’s so true:

    “If I child doesn’t read, we teach him to read.

    If a child doesn’t do math, we teach him to do math.

    If a child doesn’t tie his shoes, we teach him to tie his shoes.

    If a child doesn’t behave — we punish him!”

    If we truly want our kids to behave, we have to approach it like anything else they have trouble with and TEACH them how to behave, by giving clear instructions, opportunities for practice, and good examples.

    Sorry for the rant!

    #779161
    abcd2
    Participant

    I assume if you were in public you would be shein and Zees regarding whatever was stressing you, making you uncalm or whatever was annoying, you might not have done. That is ideally the way people should act in private. Ironically, because of our comfort level with the ones we love we don’t always do that 🙂

    #779162

    As a mother was heard yelling at her child:

    I have two words for you – Be Have!

    #779163
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    abcd2:

    You forgot. I’m in first grade. We don’t particularly care how we appear to the public. That’s the advantage we have over grown-ups. Simple lives. No sophisticated calculations of appearing one way while feeling entirely differently – for some stranger/

    #779164
    minyan gal
    Member

    I think when a parent is frustrated, they are more likely to say (or yell) things without a full, or any, explanation. When they have more time and things are calmer, is when you should ask what behaviour you exhibited that annoyed them and what are the expected behaviours from you. It isn’t easy being a parent, particularly in the times we now live in. We want to raise children who are healthy, good citizens and good students who will go on to good careers and become good parents, themselves. Years ago this was much easier to accomplish – the typical mother was at home baking cookies when the children arrived home from school. There was a lot of time available for “family” time. Life was not so frenetic. In many areas of the country, people didn’t even lock their doors when they went out. Life was just simpler – nobody had credit cards. You saved until you had enough money to purchase what you needed – you were considered affluent if you had a television – ONE television – that was chosen for its appearance as a piece of furniture. Now, we live in homes with alarm systems and both parents working as a necessity, often having huge mortgages and large amounts of credit card debt. Yet, we still have the same dreams and aspirations for our children and because so many of today’s parents are being pulled in so many directions, occasionally we “lose” it. I hope that some of what I have said makes sense to you. When my daughter was young, I was often guilty of yelling at her when I really shouldn’t have. I remember I had a very tiny decorative table – poorly placed – with a chachkie that I really liked on it. One day, while she was running in the house she collided with the table and my chachkie fell and shattered. I was angry and I gave her potch. Within a few minutes it dawned on my that it was my fault for having the table where it was. That was the end of that table – but I am quite sure the memory of her undeserved potch (I deserved the potch) stayed with her for some time. Parents are people and people are imperfect.

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