June 22, 2011 1:04 am at 1:04 am #597551
.. they all tell me (wonder why).
Problem is they don’t tell me HOW to behave.June 22, 2011 1:09 am at 1:09 am #779156sheinMember
What were you doing immediately preceding being given this advice?June 22, 2011 1:27 am at 1:27 am #779157bombmaniacParticipant
lol thats been a pet peeve of mine for a while. when an adult yells BEHAVE!!! they dont understand that they arent specifying exactly ion which manner they expect you to behave 😛June 22, 2011 4:47 am at 4:47 am #779158
What I was doing?! (not so shein, not so zees) Why do you ask?June 22, 2011 5:20 am at 5:20 am #779159123bubbyParticipant
behave urself, by NOT being on the internet all day!!!LOL!!!!June 22, 2011 9:49 am at 9:49 am #779160m in IsraelMember
Hope you don’t mind if I hijack a humorous thread with a serious comment. I heard this from Dr. Rona Novick, and it’s so true:
“If I child doesn’t read, we teach him to read.
If a child doesn’t do math, we teach him to do math.
If a child doesn’t tie his shoes, we teach him to tie his shoes.
If a child doesn’t behave — we punish him!”
If we truly want our kids to behave, we have to approach it like anything else they have trouble with and TEACH them how to behave, by giving clear instructions, opportunities for practice, and good examples.
Sorry for the rant!June 22, 2011 1:19 pm at 1:19 pm #779161abcd2Participant
I assume if you were in public you would be shein and Zees regarding whatever was stressing you, making you uncalm or whatever was annoying, you might not have done. That is ideally the way people should act in private. Ironically, because of our comfort level with the ones we love we don’t always do that 🙂June 22, 2011 1:19 pm at 1:19 pm #779162☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
As a mother was heard yelling at her child:
I have two words for you – Be Have!June 22, 2011 2:33 pm at 2:33 pm #779163
You forgot. I’m in first grade. We don’t particularly care how we appear to the public. That’s the advantage we have over grown-ups. Simple lives. No sophisticated calculations of appearing one way while feeling entirely differently – for some stranger/June 22, 2011 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #779164minyan galMember
I think when a parent is frustrated, they are more likely to say (or yell) things without a full, or any, explanation. When they have more time and things are calmer, is when you should ask what behaviour you exhibited that annoyed them and what are the expected behaviours from you. It isn’t easy being a parent, particularly in the times we now live in. We want to raise children who are healthy, good citizens and good students who will go on to good careers and become good parents, themselves. Years ago this was much easier to accomplish – the typical mother was at home baking cookies when the children arrived home from school. There was a lot of time available for “family” time. Life was not so frenetic. In many areas of the country, people didn’t even lock their doors when they went out. Life was just simpler – nobody had credit cards. You saved until you had enough money to purchase what you needed – you were considered affluent if you had a television – ONE television – that was chosen for its appearance as a piece of furniture. Now, we live in homes with alarm systems and both parents working as a necessity, often having huge mortgages and large amounts of credit card debt. Yet, we still have the same dreams and aspirations for our children and because so many of today’s parents are being pulled in so many directions, occasionally we “lose” it. I hope that some of what I have said makes sense to you. When my daughter was young, I was often guilty of yelling at her when I really shouldn’t have. I remember I had a very tiny decorative table – poorly placed – with a chachkie that I really liked on it. One day, while she was running in the house she collided with the table and my chachkie fell and shattered. I was angry and I gave her potch. Within a few minutes it dawned on my that it was my fault for having the table where it was. That was the end of that table – but I am quite sure the memory of her undeserved potch (I deserved the potch) stayed with her for some time. Parents are people and people are imperfect.
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