Birthday present for Husband

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    Troll:No, no. BIRTHDAY! Not apeasment flowers. The same rabbi Reisman who announced the story/minhag to the world, said it’s was a birthday present, not apeasment.

    And you can take offense, that’s perfectly fine.


    How about go out with him and get something for him together? Whatever his heart desires. Set a price limit and splurge within that price limit.

    Avram in MD


    Wow. How appropriate the username…

    Why then, do you persist?


    hey troll,

    If you have not noticed, almost all the suggested gifts have been sefarim, clothes for Shabbat, things for Yom Tov, or things for mitsvot. Why do you persist in saying that the whole gift idea is counter our values?

    No one is trying to buy love, nor live for the moment. Obviously, the issue is showing appreciation for the man on his birthday and wanting him to keep growing.

    BTW are you jealous?


    Why then, do you persist?

    Sometimes I just can’t resist. It’s a failing of mine.

    The Wolf


    How about a gift certificate to home depot? Most men find those tools fascinating!!! 🙂


    Truth be told-

    Dont even bother with him. For some reason its ok for him to make up that I have Shalom Bayis problems…but its not ok for you to call him disgusting…you see what you’re dealing with here.

    I do thank you for sticking up for me though : )



    “Give him a day off” lol. From what? Yeshiva???

    🍫Syag Lchochma

    I got my husband a shtender and a new shabbos tallis (hoping the shtender will prevent someone from accidentally walking off with the tallis). I also had each kid write a note to my husband telling him what they are thankful to him for. I don’t know if that ‘activity’ was a bigger gift to my husband or to my kids. Or to me because of the joy I got from seeing his face when he received them.


    ” From what? Yeshiva??? “

    No, a day with the chevrah is fun and games.

    Let me say it this way; from time to time, I get a “legal holiday” off from work, but Mrs, does not.

    THAT, is what I call a day off!


    As a husband: The nicest present my wife ever gave me was a nice supper together with the whole family, children, parents, in-laws and siblings. Was most appreciated. The other presents received were an added bonus.


    “Why not ASK him what he would like”

    several reasons, asking the recipient shows a lack of imagination,

    takes away some of the anticipation of opening the gift, perhaps he will say he doesnt want anything (but actually does), part of the gift is the thought that goes behind it.


    MDG: That would work the other way around, however usually its the husbands money. what good would it be to tell him to buy himself something and then put a price limit. Where’s the logic?

    me too

    RE: Celebrating birthdays, Yes ! there are/were good Jews with heads screwed on tight who viewed birthdays as days for ?????

    See these links I just don’t have the patience to click/paste

    &/or summarize



    The logic is that many people won’t splurge for something they want because they may feel guilty. This way the splurge is guilt-free, as she is encouraging. Anyway it’s their money, whether it’s gotten with him or without him.



    My husband is in yeshiva. He has no idea how much money we have. I take care of all the banking…


    “(although I wouldn’t recommend it)

    Why wouldn’t you recommend that I cook lunch for my wife? Especially in light of the fact that you immediately said afterward that it was a nice gesture.

    The Wolf”

    Hamaivin yovin


    Guy-och just said it’s the husbands money. What he means is that all money and assets in the family (except a few exceptions like the wife’s wedding ring) are owned and belong to and are the property of the husband not the wife, under halacha, as any money she earns or comes into possession to belongs to her husband.


    Hamaivin yovin

    Instead of being snarky and answering cryptically, how about answering my question in a straightforward manner. Why would you not recommend that I cook for my wife?

    The Wolf



    OTOH, someone can give something to a married woman on the condition that her husband not have any share in it and it becomes hers exclusively.

    One could argue that by giving his wife a gift, the husband is voluntarily relinquishing any rights to ownership of the item (or else what’s the point of the gift?).

    The Wolf


    Wolf, only women belong in the kitchen (barefoot and pregnant).


    Wolfish Musings-

    Because he’s a jerk, thats why.


    Grandmaster – that’s not how we operate today. Are you married? If so, does your wife need your approval when she goes out for a cup of coffee or groceries or new clothes?


    “Hamaivin yovin”

    Wolf, because we all know what a hubby cooking for his wife leads to… haven’t you ever seen those Levitra commercials????


    SJSinNYC, I love that answer!!!! I can almost picture what u look like based on the your diff posts.


    why not give Tzedakah in his name…


    Poster 🙂 So what do you think I look like? I am pregnant, but I am not barefoot nor in the kitchen at the moment LOL.


    i never understood the barefoot part what is that all about?


    The Goq – it serves 4 purposes that I’m aware of:

    1) A woman will know when the floor is dirty because she can see it on her feet or feel it. She will make sure to clean it right away (a true balabuste)

    2) Shoes get the floors dirty because they track in dirt from outside. See #1.

    3) Shoes get worn out by wearing them. If she doesn’t need them then its wasting money.

    4) Shoes imply going outside. Why does a woman need to leave her home more than once a month? See the Rambam.


    Maybe when somebody asks specific advice, we should just respond, and not soapbox?

    One thing my learning husband appreciated was a pocket voice recorder allowing him to record shiurim, or something nice that somebody was saying.

    Also, give more info as to what lines/price you were thinking –

    Pen sets, Frame a favorite picture, yummy socks, shabbos raincoat, key chain, mail opener, coffee to go/warmer for the car, scarf, sweater, shabbos alarm clock, basket of his favorite nosh/baked goods, a poem on why you respect him.

    Good luck!


    How about planting a tree? It will give you permanent “roots” in Israel. Perhaps you can even do the planting together.


    Is it proper hashkafah for a husband to give gifts to his wife? Or does that cause him to be more aitzel nishsoseihem ketarnegol which is against the torah?

    Pashuteh Yid

    MosheRose, Ideally, Chazal wanted married couples to live apart, preferably in different countries. Since it is bidieved, maybe a gift would be ok, or at least a telegram.

    As far as what to get in general, I would buy him a Lexus. If he doesn’t like it, the Mods will give you my address, and you can forward the car to me.

    me too

    Here is what a Holy Jew did!!

    The Bobover Rav Zt”l when he was still known as Reb Naftulche had nothing better to do on erev Pesach than send a leather bound ????to a Yungerman to give his wife as a gift. The Rav knew that this couples Shalom Bayis was not the greatest.He was hoping that at least the Seder will be quieter.


    Here are some suggestions:

    A nice wine-opening set

    A toolset

    A mug with pictures on it

    A bottle of cologne

    A wallet


    All of the above, and a free “get out of jail” card for when he ticks you off, and you would otherwise be very angry with him for the next few days. One time only deal, though.


    oomis- nah he doesnt need that. He has never ticked me off in almost 2 years

    I like the leather bound Haggadah idea, I just have o find one with nice meforshim

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