Bochurim/Girls calling to come for shabbos seudas on Friday afternoon!!

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    Dear Brothers and Friends in the USA,

    We LOVE having your children or siblings etc for Shabbos meals here in Eretz Yisroel. Makes them feel at home, and it makes us feel at home too!

    BUT, why do they have to wait till close to shabbos to call to come?

    Please pass on the message to them that they please CALL BEFORE FRIDAY.

    We already finished shopping and cooking and planned on having a small family meal. Now you call to come with your friends?? That means we will now run back tot he store, see if theres chicken left on the shelves, buy more dessert etc… Make another kugel…

    Why cant you just call on Wednesday or latest Thursday??!

    Please pass on the message.

    Looking forward to host your children for a geshmake shabbos seuda in Eretz Yisroel!

    Gut Shabbos!


    “Why cant you just call on Wednesday or latest Thursday??!”

    In general — certain things need to be taught. You may think that certain things may be intuited by “kids” — but its just not so. I am pretty sure that i didnt have that sensitivity when i was in Israel in 80’s. I think — you as the host can say — we would love to have you but please call me (and most people) earlier in the week because thats when we make our plans. Nothing wrong with that.

    I have distinct memories of being taught explicitly certain lessons of ettiquette and teaching my children the same. (And no, Im not that proper — but reminding your children to offer to help clear the table etc…is not the worst thing).


    Panda? Many of these children come from homes with large freezers that if guests call unexpectedly they just see their mother pull out another container of already frozen soup, or kugel or extra challah and dont necessarily realize that many of the households in EY who extend themselves to be makayem hachnochos orchim dont shop, cook, freeze or cook extra like we do here in america. Very rarely does my wife cook with exactness (4 people home for shabbos I’m only cooking 4 pieces of chicken. We generally cook extra and they are used for Sunday night leftovers or lunches during the week. It often happens that one of my chidren will say on Friday afternoon btw, ploni is eating here tonight. On the flip side, thank you for opening your home (and heart) to accommodate those who far away from family and friends.


    worse than calling friday afternoon for an invite, is calling an hour before candle lighting to cancel.


    I can’t understand the parents that send their children to EY schools that don’t offer Shabbos/Yom Tov seudois
    Your children have to schnorr meals on their own?
    Do you know what type of houses they will eat by?
    What will they hear/see there? Everything like your mesorah?
    Besides many of the homes that they end up eating in cannot afford this expense even though they agree to host them
    It’s a million times worse for the girls than for the boys
    These seminaries are not being paid enough
    It’s a shame to the parents for sending them into such conditions
    And it’s a shame that these yeshivas/seminaries shirk their responsibilities


    The best part of being in Israel for me for my year over 3 decades ago — was going to different communities and meeting different people/families. I can remember almost every place that i went . No — everything was not like my mesorah. People were different. Families were different. Invaluable, I thought then — and think now. (I do agree that yeshivas should provide meals if they want. I think more Yeshivas do — allow the boys to stay “in” if they wish.)

    ☕️coffee addict

    They really don’t like coming to you but they couldn’t find anywhere else to go so they begrudgingly called you



    you can always say no works for me


    To think that one’s personal “family mesorah” is the only legitimate set of customs is a terribly disturbing thought.

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