October 2, 2009 10:22 am at 10:22 am #590525MOMof4Member
I drive down Avenue M each day and right before Ocean Parkway there are always young bochurim trying to hitch rides. First of all, it’s a safety issue-nowadays you can’t be too careful of who you get in the car with and second of all, it’s a tznius issue. Why do they constantly try to flag me down to give them rides to boro park? Do the mothers of these bochurim realize what their sons are doing? It upsets me each day when I see this occuring!October 2, 2009 12:57 pm at 12:57 pm #661474
Perhaps the bochor didn’t realize it was a female driver, when he was trying to flag down a car.October 2, 2009 1:06 pm at 1:06 pm #661475
Exuse Me. It is a Mitzvah to stop and pick them up.
I go to yeshiva on Ditmas Ave. and East ninth. and i have to take the coney island bus (B68) to get from Ave J until Ditmas. I appreciate it very much when people stop and pick me up, instead of waiting for a bus. I don’t see any issues with it. I don’t flag down cars but i stand by the curb and if someone is nice enough to stop i am happy.October 2, 2009 1:15 pm at 1:15 pm #661476
I think its very simple- don’t take rides from strangers, even friendly strangers who dress like you.October 2, 2009 2:00 pm at 2:00 pm #661477
i wouldn’t ask for a ride, but when a jewish guy iv’e never seen offers me a ride i’ll take it. once an italian guy offered me a ride and i almost went in!October 2, 2009 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #661479
Exuse Me. It is a Mitzvah to stop and pick them up.
Safety issues notwithstanding, of course. 🙂
My rule, very simply, is that if I don’t know you (or if someone else in the car doesn’t know you) then you’re not getting in. And I don’t get into cars where I don’t know the driver or someone else in the car.
Just because someone is dressed “frum” doesn’t mean that it’s safe. Unfortunately.
The WolfOctober 2, 2009 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #661480mepalMember
They didn’t get on their hands and knees to help you? Shame on them…October 2, 2009 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm #661481LeiderLeider…Participant
I believe it is illegal to pick up a hitchhicker in NYC. It is most definitely illegal upstate, as I was ticketed this summer for picking up a yungerman!
Needless to say, it is also potentially dangerous for both the driver and the hitchhicker.
I do not permit my children to hitchhike.October 2, 2009 5:31 pm at 5:31 pm #661482
wolfish, I have been taking rides for FIVE years and i never got kidnapped and i don’t know anyone who didOctober 2, 2009 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #661483
wolfish, I have been taking rides for FIVE years and i never got kidnapped and i don’t know anyone who did
I’m glad it’s worked out for you. But that doesn’t require me to take unnecessary risks.
The WolfOctober 2, 2009 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #661484
EDITEDOctober 2, 2009 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #661485
it’s not naive. IT is a mitzvah to pick up bochurim and frum people.
RABBI REISMAN shelita, Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Torah Vodaath, oNce said, “there should never be bochurim waiting by a bus stop in a frum area” meaning to say that people should offer ridesOctober 2, 2009 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #661486
I guess you are right, but if you had my age, you would say NAIVE. I have seen a lot during my life.October 2, 2009 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm #661487
I’d guess that the bochrim in Japan also thought they were just doing something nice for a frum person.
How about that “frum” fellow in Lakewood a few years back? Would you get in a car with him?
My only concern is safety. Don’t get in cars with strangers and don’t take strangers in your cars.October 2, 2009 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm #661488
just a guy, you are changing the topic, that is not what i’m talking aboutOctober 5, 2009 1:22 am at 1:22 am #661489
Regarding the quote attributed to Rabbi Reisman. Nowhere does the statement condone or suggest anyone should hitchike.October 5, 2009 1:30 am at 1:30 am #661490
jphone, HIE isn’t saying its muttar to hitchike he’s saying when s/o is waiting for a bus s/o should give him a ride, not that they should stick out their thumbs asking 4 a ride.October 5, 2009 1:33 am at 1:33 am #661491
According to the quote, Rav Reisman is suggesting drivers pick bochurim up from bus stops, and give them a ride.October 5, 2009 2:18 am at 2:18 am #661492
yes, i don’t like the idea of bochurim asking for a ride, but i think that they should be offered a ride.October 5, 2009 2:30 am at 2:30 am #661493
I didnt suggest Rabbi Reisman implied otherwise.October 5, 2009 3:14 am at 3:14 am #661494
jphone, so from now on IF you drive and IF you are a MALE and you see a bochur waiting by a bus stop PICK HIM UPOctober 5, 2009 2:45 pm at 2:45 pm #661495
I’m curious why R. Reisman specified bochrim. If it’s a mitzvah to pick up Jewish hitchhikers, shouldn’t it apply to all Jews regardless of age?
(Or at least all same-gender Jews if you’re worried about tznius issues.)October 5, 2009 6:20 pm at 6:20 pm #661496
How do you REALLY know who is frum – you are taking lots of risks…
What if someone does indeed “dress the part” does that mean that they are automatically good people?October 5, 2009 6:24 pm at 6:24 pm #661497
Maybe meaning to say that if the bochrim were indeed worthy, a bus would come immediately.October 5, 2009 9:22 pm at 9:22 pm #661498ronrsrMember
<<I have been taking rides for FIVE years and i never got kidnapped and i don’t know anyone who did>>
As the man who jumped off the Empire State Building said as he passed the second floor:
“So far, so good.”October 6, 2009 1:30 am at 1:30 am #661499
Re number 22. How do you know i dont already?October 6, 2009 3:26 am at 3:26 am #661500
if theyr’e such tzadikim they shouldn’t go on a bus in the first place. 🙂October 6, 2009 3:41 am at 3:41 am #661501
How should they go?October 6, 2009 6:46 am at 6:46 am #661502
Thanks Joseph. I was wondering the same thing but my brain didn’t engage enough to post it.October 6, 2009 10:00 am at 10:00 am #661503
They shouldn’t go anywhere; they belong in the Bais Medrash.October 6, 2009 11:42 am at 11:42 am #661504mybatMember
Maybe super Joe can fly them!October 6, 2009 12:02 pm at 12:02 pm #661505
They are on the way to the Bais Medrash.October 6, 2009 12:39 pm at 12:39 pm #661506
Do they sleep in the Bais Medrash? How do they get to and from there? And if they want to spend a Shabbos with their family? Or maybe they have a sick relative in the hospital and want to do the mitzvah of bikur cholim? You can’t expect bochurim to be in the Bais Medrash 24/7.October 6, 2009 1:16 pm at 1:16 pm #661507mepalMember
Right. And sleep on the benches at night… And drink bread and water… And…October 6, 2009 2:25 pm at 2:25 pm #661508
i used to bike to yeshiva,or take the bus, i got some rides from frum men, but i think i only took from a stranger if i there as s/o else there,tooOctober 6, 2009 3:07 pm at 3:07 pm #661509
Unless you’re talking about kids, Yeshiva talmidim should be learning 24/7 and that’s it; chesed should be performed when they are Rabbonim and by those of us who lack the hasmada for learning.October 6, 2009 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #661510
cherrbim, regarding your previous post, EIN SOMCHIN AL HANESS
RONRSR, good mashal, but not applicable over here.
Goody, me too. (I think i once met you in a strangers car. LOL.
what rabbi reisman said DOES NOT only apply to bochurim, it applys to all yidden but since he was telling it to his shiur in yeshiva, he was specifically talking about the B68 bus stop on down Coney Island Ave. (J, K, l, M…) where many bochurim stand in the morning to go to yeshiva and many frum people go by to bring their kids to yeshiva (Torah Vodaath, and Torah Temimah, Chaim Berlin.) so that is why he mentioned “Bochurim”
A Gut MoedOctober 6, 2009 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm #661511
Fair enough. Nonetheless, I think R. Reisman is wrong on this issue. Teaching bochrim to get into cars with strangers, even those that appear frum is just wrong and dangerous.
The WolfOctober 6, 2009 4:28 pm at 4:28 pm #661512
Maybe at one time – it was ok to just get into a stranger’s car, or to pick up a stranger… but today, uh…NO
I’ve heard many a beautiful story about such chessed. There is more dangers today
Even now, if a “frum looking” stranger (oh how I loathe that!) is on the side of the road, maybe with a flat tire, I am glad to call 911 but I will not stop if I or someone in my car doesn’t know you, sorry.October 6, 2009 4:32 pm at 4:32 pm #661514
1: Are there laws that regulate hithiking in NYC? If yes, does anyone know where one can find the specifics?
2: Once someone is picked up (a poor choice of words), are there any rules that govern the “obligation” of the driver or the “rights” of the passenger? For example, if I am listening to Bloomberg radio (because I listened to the last of the torah tapes in the car, the 6 hour trip took longer than anticipated), must I turn it off because my passenger doesnt like it? Can the passenger demand I not listen to sports talk radio? At what point can I pull over and say “enough complaining, keep your mouth shut or walk in the rain”?October 6, 2009 4:34 pm at 4:34 pm #661515October 6, 2009 5:36 pm at 5:36 pm #661517
First of all you have to have alot of guts to say that.
Also, Rabbi Reisman isn’t saying that boys should stick out their hands to hitch. he’s saying it the other way around. If a frum person sees a bochur waiting he should stop and tell him to come in.October 6, 2009 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #661518
smalltown, Should Chaveirim go out of business? After all, just cause a “frum sounding” caller asks for roadside help, who knows?October 6, 2009 6:59 pm at 6:59 pm #661519
First of all you have to have alot of guts to say that.
Why? Is R. Reisman infallible? Is it impossible to disagree with him on any subject whatsoever?
Admittedly, he is a talmid chochom. But that doesn’t necessarily make him any more qualified to decide public safety matters than anyone else.
Also, Rabbi Reisman isn’t saying that boys should stick out their hands to hitch. he’s saying it the other way around. If a frum person sees a bochur waiting he should stop and tell him to come in.
That’s just as bad. That’s encouraging adults to teach children that it’s okay to enter stranger’s cars.
The WolfOctober 6, 2009 7:13 pm at 7:13 pm #661520
jphone: I once gave a ride to a friend’s daughter (not a stranger). I had my radio on. She asked me to turn it off because the school she goes to does not allow the students to listen to secular music. I told her the radio was staying on and she could blame me.
A few years later I ended up working for the principal at that school, who was now principla at a different school. Same rule. But you should know her cell phone played Mozart!October 6, 2009 7:45 pm at 7:45 pm #661521
Joseph, I believe that those trained to handle certain situations as chaveirim are, is comparing apples with oranges.
You are free to pick up whoever you’d like I choose not to.October 6, 2009 7:47 pm at 7:47 pm #661522
wolfishmusings, you are INCORRECT. It is teaching children that there is no nation like yisrael that is so friendly and does favorsOctober 6, 2009 7:58 pm at 7:58 pm #661523
smalltown, Chaveirim receive no more particular training than the average Jew on whom to help.October 6, 2009 8:02 pm at 8:02 pm #661524
wolfishmusings, you are INCORRECT. It is teaching children that there is no nation like yisrael that is so friendly and does favors
Now you’re wrong on two counts.
Firstly, where do you get the idea that non-Jews never do favors for people, including giving them rides?
Secondly, it still *is* teaching them to get into cars with people they don’t know. And that, in today’s day and age, is just plain unsafe and wrong. I’d rather have my kids riding the bus — it’s far safer than being picked up by a stranger, even one who looks frum.
The WolfOctober 6, 2009 8:39 pm at 8:39 pm #661525
HIE- while your love of Klal Yisrael is admirable, please do not teach your children that it is ok to get in a car with strangers. Please!
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