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Example and this is a chinuch related topic. Let’s say it’s something like showing sports games in your house to your kids. People will say that if you don’t allow it at home then the kids will learn from other kids whose parents do allow it and then you feel you have to give in and bring down the standards in your house. How do parents deal with this?
Like Nancy Reagan used to say, just say NO.
Kids have to know, including the example set by their parents, that we exist to serve Hashem properly. Once that foundation is established and everything you allow or forbid (for yourself as well) is viewed through that lens, then it becomes much easier to do and require of your kids what is right even if other people do differently.
The answer to “but everyone does it” is, then, that they are wrong but they don’t know any better, and we will try to do only what is right, not follow other people in doing what is wrong.
This applies to everything from outright issurim to gray-area issues of sensitivity.
@1
why would you let your kids go to houses where they do something crooked?My parents explained their decisions without waiting for us to explain. They taught us to be analytical and to identify the values that they were upholding with their decisions. That said, they (knowingly) overlooked when we snuck out to watch the Superbowl or the World Series etc. We’ve all outgrown the need for watching sports but the deep core values stuck with us. I don’t know if you can extrapolate this idea to all examples, but I think it worked for us.
Please don’t accept chinuch advice from CR. Ask your Rav, your son’s Rebbe or Menahel. The question has a lot of variables, including your and your son’s culture, his school, social needs etc.
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