Can you comfort me

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  • #618342

    Sam Klein

    i am benched to be on a very high level of love for every yid in klal yisroel frum or not. When i hear or see of any tragedy that has happened to one of my brethen i am deeply pained over the loss or injury of my brother. How can i be comforted when i watch the generation going down R”L as the tzaros go from tragic to horrfic? as i watch my own jewish brethen making worldwide chillul Hashem’s showing Hashem’s loving nation just as dishonest & corrupt as the rest of the world R”L

    Is it possible to be menachem someone when he knows that the entire tragedy the occurred R”L could have been avoided if the brother who it occurred to would have listened to his rav & just done teshuva?

    i watch and count daily as 2 separate lists of gedolei Hador niftar & information, together with children & infants niftar in traagic ways gets longer & longer on a weekly basis. almost every week another few added to these lists R”L

    i end with saying, after years of feeling my brothers pain & fasting for them throughout the year on behalf of all klal yisroel & doing many other anonymous things. it still shocks me how a person today can just watch so much tzaros & not ask themselves why is this all happening to us-Hashem’s loving nation

    Please be Menachem me. i am an avel & will always be as i have lost hundreds of my brothers in only a matter of a few years & my love for everyone of them-INCLUDING YOU-is unlimited. i.e. if your C”V in pain then i am too thats how high my love is for YOU & EVERY YID. it takes years to reach such a high level of love for klal yisroel. May you one day reach this high level

    Mods I beg you to please post my letter. I am deeply mourning, with fasting and pained over the loss of my brother from Argentina just Niftar in MVA in Monsey

    To help you understand the high level so you should trust me. Moshe rabbeinu was deeply pained when he saw his brother being hit by another yid though he did not know them. Yirmiyahu hanavi was deeply pained and mourning with crying as he watched his brethen heading into Galus. For 70 years and as he sat in prison hearing their suffering from the window. He begged them for years before the Bais Hamikdosh was destroyed to do teshuva.

    Please help me as I sit Shiva behind the scenes over the loss of another brother of mine. Please post this ASAP so perhaps I can be comforted. NO ONE was able to comfort the navi when his brethren were hurt. They loved every yid in klal yisroel.

    Thank you

    #1183809

    Meno
    Participant

    I’m sorry you’re in pain, but your post sounds incredibly haughty and insensitive.

    Just some quotes from your post to support my statement:

    “the entire tragedy the occurred R”L could have been avoided if the brother who it occurred to would have listened to his rav & just done teshuva” (Maybe you should have listened to your Rav and done Teshuva)

    “May you one day reach this high level” (I shouldn’t have to explain what’s wrong with this)

    “To help you understand the high level so you should trust me. Moshe rabbeinu…Yirmiyahu hanavi…” (Comparing yourself with Moshe Rabeinu and Yirmiyahu HaNavi)

    #1183810

    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Welcome to another bout of his drivel…

    He feels the need to add to the pain at every opportunity… at every ??? ??? ????. Most posters here I could get along with, I’ve gotten to understand them a bit (and I’ve been around here quite a while..), this one however… Suffice it to say it’s a bit over…

    Gemarah somewhere said about one kind of person ???? ????? ?? ????, he doesn’t keep repeating… this one outdoes. Maybe his fasting has gotten to him…

    #1183813

    oomis
    Participant

    Torah teaches us that even when we are in aveilus for our PARENTS for a full year, there is a limit to the aveilus. There is a Shiva period; there is a Shloshim period, followed by 10 more months of saying Kaddish, and then the final month of aveilus for them. For non-parental losses, the halachic period ends with the Shloshim. Of course the feelings of aveilus don’t go away so easily, but we are forced back into life. If we cannot cope, we need help.

    This post sounds like it was written for effect. If not, if the poster genuinely has these feelings, I urge him/her to seek immediate counseling, with a Rov or another professonal, to help deal with an inappropriate emotional response.

    We can mourn the Beis Hamikdash for over 2,000 years. We are not supposed to be in mourning yomam valeila for people, and certainly not ewverytime we hear of another death, which unfortunately is not ceasing any time soon. There is a hge difference between feeling very sad at hearing of someone else’s pain (and none of us comes even close to Moshe Rabbeinu, so I doubt we are near that madreiga of his empathy), and being in actual aveilus for the death of a Yid whom we do not know.

    #1183814

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Let’s not take words to be objective

    My answer is “no, I can’t comfort you, only Hashem can!

    We say “hamakom yinacheim eschem” not to comfort, but rather to say I can’t comfort you, only Hashem can

    Additionally I want to mention that one can’t change other people they can only change themselves, especially the way they look at other people

    #1183815

    gofish
    Member

    I am sorry you are feeling so much pain, but your post has a narcissistic tone to it, as do many of your others.

    I only have one suggestion for you. And that is, look into yourself when hearing of such tragedies. Not into others.

    #1183816

    dovrosenbaum
    Participant

    Life is imperfect. What else is new?

    #1183817

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Just look at some pictures of puppies like goyim do.

    #1183818

    Redleg
    Participant

    You know, I sometimes think that, rather than offering chizuk and mussar to the CR, MA is really subtly mocking the feelings and ideas he offers with such seeming sincerity and, by extension, the other members of the CR that do, in fact, actually hold those views and attitudes.

    #1183819

    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Redleg,

    You know, I sometimes think that, rather than offering chizuk and mussar to the CR, MA is really subtly mocking the feelings and ideas he offers with such seeming sincerity and, by extension, the other members of the CR that do, in fact, actually hold those views and attitudes.

    Everything you wrote is correct, except for “subtly.”

    #1183820

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Everything you wrote is correct, except for “subtly.”

    I agree, but I think it’s unintentional.

    #1183821

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    May Hashem comfort you along with the mourners of Zion

    #1183822

    thank you

    #1183823

    Meno
    Participant

    You’re welcome

    #1183824

    BDE

    IM Sitting shiva now until tuesday night for my 2 loving brethren just niftar R”L among the many hundreds of other innocent children & infants already niftar in the past year alone

    1)Yosef Yisrael Gold-son of Rav Aharon of Boro Park-collapsed in Yeshiva in Bnei Brak-September 22 2016-18

    2)Dovi Sass-son of Dovid and Shoshana of Edmonton Canada-Struck by baseball-September 23 2016-11

    i beg you for comfort

    #1183825

    gofish
    Member

    I suggest you get professional help to learn how to detach a little. Yes, we are meant to feel others’ pain, but you are taking it to an unhealthy extreme. There is a shvil hazahav, and you are not on it. On one side of the continuum, is total apathy to pain. On the other side of the continuum, is intense grief at every tragedy, to the point of feeling the need to ‘sit shiva’ and receive comfort from others. Both are not healthy.

    There is a reason why shiva is required only for family members when someone passes away, and not the whole klal Yisroel, even though we are all considered acheinu.

    (That is, if you are saying all this tongue in cheek.)

    #1183826

    Sparkly
    Member

    how did the boy get struck?

    #1183827

    Health
    Participant

    MA -“Is it possible to be menachem someone when he knows that the entire tragedy the occurred R”L could have been avoided if the brother who it occurred to would have listened to his rav & just done teshuva?”

    That’s your problem and a lot of others!

    The reason we’re in Golus and have Tzarus, is not because we didn’t listen to some Chumros, (if that’s what you meant by Rav,) but because we didn’t listen to the Torah!

    We read every year – Chazon, did anyone on that Shabbos think to themselves – what I’m going to do to improve?

    #1183828

    I’m totally clueless to what and who you all are talking about…whose brother died ?

    #1183829

    Meno
    Participant

    He’s just confused. He doesn’t understand the concept of brothers or mourning

    #1183830

    our brothers dies. “kol yisroel areivim….” we are all brothers & sisters etc… i.e. we all come from the same Forefathers Avraham Yitzchok & Yaakov.

    when we lose one of our brethren we have a mitzva of being nosei b’ol, feeling the pain of your brothers & being there for them in their time of need etc…

    currently i am in the midst of sitting shiva for losing 2 of our very own loving brethren in 2 days of time.

    please comfort me & daven to Hashem that no more of our loving brothers be niftar in such horrific & tragic ways

    #1183831

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Just because a rosh yeshiva give a certain dvar torah and chizuk, doesnt mean we should

    #1183832

    147
    Participant

    No-one can possibly be comforted on the 15th ??????? of the World Trade Center ?”?.

    #1183833

    tantali
    Member

    Sam Klein, Mashiach Agent

    How can you even write this!? You should be so upset over this tragedy to the extent that you shouldn’t even have the koach to even LIFT A FINGER! After such a tragedy, you have the strength to open up your computer and type words!?

    You should be so upset by this, you should BASH your computer into a million pieces! You should fast for a year straight, without eating or drinking ANYTHING. THAT is the ONLY way to make things right with Hashem.

    To me, it seems like you really aren’t very upset at all. If you bash your computer into a MILLION pieces out of agmas nefesh, only then will we know you TRULY feel pain.

    #1183834

    BDE

    is 71 a normal age to be niftar or is this younger then usual & supposed to be accepted by our loving Father Hashem as a wake up call for teshuva together as a nation? you think about it & let Hashem know how you feel. Hashem is waiting for your HONEST answer & waiting for us to admit that we are wrong for living in denial & not accepting Hashem’s wake up call to finally wake up & return to Hashem our loving father.

    #1183835

    Little Froggie
    Participant

    I really shouldn’t be writing now, mere days to Yom Hadin. I unfortunately have a big baggage (putting it mildly) to contend with and I really should be elsewhere at this time. It’s just that certain posters really rub/ tickle/ scratch me and most others the wrong way…

    So..

    IT’S SCARY!!! SPOOKY!!!

    I was at an event the other night and during the course of the evening, this gentleman starts a conversation with me. And then just so suddenly he goes on the MA tirade, ALMOST WORD FOR WORD, VERBATIM, mentioning all of them (you could look these ‘works’ yourself) from the day this account first started… Complete, with all the ‘signals’ and ‘signs’, ‘straight from heaven’… ‘how long do I have to wait for you or Klal Yisroel to do Teshuva’. On and on.. straight from the famed lines of our ‘hero’. I actually asked him (when he took the time off to replenish his lungs) if he posts on Yeshiva World, I actually did. He said he doesn’t have time for that, why would I…

    So: either he really does post , AND I BUSTED HIM (and him – me!!) or it’s just PLAIN SPOOKY!!! Two guys going around like that.. (and mind you, from the outside he looks quite mostly there..)

    #1183836

    Health
    Participant

    MA -“please comfort me & daven to Hashem that no more of our loving brothers be niftar in such horrific & tragic ways”

    The only way that this Tzoros is gonna stop, is if you and e/o does Teshuva!

    Now is the perfect time – it’s called Elul.

    #1183837

    BDE

    is 71 a normal age to be niftar or is this younger then usual & supposed to be accepted by our loving Father Hashem as a wake up call for teshuva together as a nation? you think about it & let Hashem know how you feel. Hashem is waiting for your HONEST answer & waiting for us to admit that we are wrong for living in denial & not accepting Hashem’s wake up call to finally wake up & return to Hashem our loving father.

    #1183838

    Softwords
    Participant

    I’ve come to understand over time that the CR is really not my place. However, ever once and a while I notice a topic that strikes my interest. Non-the-less, I’m not sure if I really should participate or not. I hope my time isn’t poorly spent here.

    Sam Klein – seeing your post I asked myself (knowing that the CR is often used to shoot the breeze and for levity) whether your post is serious or not. My comment here is based on the “possibility” that your comment may just in fact be 100% genuine w/o any exaggeration. If this is the case here is my response.

    It is a good middah to have Ahavah for others and to share in their happiness and pain. Non-the-less, the Rambam states that every middah needs to be used in measurements. Not too much to the left, nor the right, but rather the middle path.

    You feel that your emotions for others is based on an extremely lofty level of love for others and thus as you view tragedy after tragedy and the sufferings of Klal Yisrael you become very mournful and broken. It sounds as you have fallen into a state of depression that you find difficult (or impossible) to get out of. It this is the case you must understand two things.

    First of all, if you would have been zoche to know Gedolim personally you would learn 1) the burdens and sufferings of Klal Yisrael weigh heavily upon them and yet, 2) their tears are reserved for the right time. In general they are fully joy and life as the Torah states, Chai B’Hem (“LIVE by them”). Mourning for Klal Yisrael has specific times. Tisha B’Av for example. It is not right to be in a constant state of mourning. That is the Isur of Yi’ush (despair) which comes from a lack of Imuna in Hashem.

    Second – It is not out of the question nor is it shameful to seek professional help to assist you in coping with depression and those things that trigger these emotions. Nor is it contrary to Torah to take medicine to relieve stress, depression, or any other emotional symptoms you may be experiencing whether short term or chronic. We live in a time where the challenges are much greater than ever before and the stress on us is often beyond individual strengths to over come. I highly recommend to seek professional assistance in place of forums.

    May we all know better times.

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