Caution: People in YWN-CR may be lesser than they appear

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    It has occurred to me in the past, and I was just reminded by >this< post, that our impressions of a person on the CR are based only on what the mods allow us to see about them.

    Since posts which would make a positive impression are less likely to be rejected than posts which would make a negative one, our impressions of our fellow users may be skewed towards positivity.

    Your thoughts?


    I think that even if that’s the case, the negative and positive sides of a person are not a see-saw that when one goes up, the other goes down. Therefore, being shown only the positive side is not distorting the true picture of the person, since that side is still as authentic as it would be with the entire negative too. People have a yetzer horah that they may act on, but even should they choose to, that doesn’t diminish the inner value of the person, or detract from his inherent good. It’s a different story altogether. If a person is portrayed in a good light here, unless he’s really good at faking (which in itself is good too, from the perspective of “fake it till you make it”), I say he truly is good.

    ☕️coffee addict

    that makes a lot of sense, but if the post would make a negative impression constantly they would somehow “dissappear”


    Even if some posts are deleted, you still notice different posts being posted that aren’t very positive. And so you still see both the positive and negative. I agree with Eftach, that even if you only see their positive side, it’s still authentic. We know people are not perfect. And we are prone to focus on negative. At least if we see the positive, it’s helps to focus on that.


    You should want to look at folks as positively as possible in any event.

    So this is a positive.


    So are we correct in thinking that ”we” might just be one person?


    Do you believe that seeing the best in someone is a BAD thing? We are all anonymous posters here, for the most part. I think most of us over the years, have gotten a “sense” of the personalities of the posters, i.e. kind, sarcastic, intelligent, witty, etc. Many of us have had posts deleted or edited from time to time (and WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME, MODS, HMMM?????), not for any nefarious reason, just because in the moment it was an executive decision to do so.

    Sometimes discussions get too heated, sometimes they seem headed in a direction that could lead to an inappropriate remark being made by someone else. Whatever it is, I don’t believe that we have to ascribe negative traits to anyone because of the things we did NOT read from them (and even perhaps from those things that we DID read). Whether or not you agree with those opinions is up to you, but people are allowed to think as they wish, as long as they are not hurtful and mean-spirited, and are not chalilah derisive of the Torah.

    Little Froggie

    Thank you for that Oomis. Beautiful.

    (I’m sure you realized OP’s statement was in jest)


    Too many deleted posts will get you expelled from the CR, so anyone here for a while obviously isn’t too crazy. (Correction: obviously keeps their craziness in check.)


    Little Froggie, I left my sense of humor at the hospital this past week. I really did NOT realize it was a jest. But neither did I find anything offensive in that post, so I think we are still good to go. 🙂

    Little Froggie

    At the WHAT?!? I don’t want to be nosy but (you’ve piqued my curiosity) what’s that about.

    You were (ARE!) always the one here with extreme level-headedness, sechel hayashar, clear perception, intuitive – always offering others Chizuk, a kind word, encouragement, support. WE’RE COUNTING ON YOU!!


    It’s all good. My husband had to have some treatments. B”H, he’s coming along. Thank you for your kind words.


    Oomis- yeh, I hope everything is okay with you. Or any family members if u were visiting them. Froggie is right!


    I hope your husband has a refuah sheleima! You are my role model in the cr


    I wasn’t joking.

    catch yourself

    Would you say the same about a person who doesn’t say everything he thinks when talking to you in person (which, hopefully, is every sane adult you talk to)?
    It’s well known and well documented that people are less likely to self-regulate when communicating over the internet (even without the sense of anonymity, such as via email or social media) than they would when talking in person.
    In that light, the Mods are, in a sense, compensating for the lowering of personal boundaries to which many people fall prey in a forum such as this one.
    So the image presented by the posts that get through may be closer to the impression you would have of the person IRL than the OP suggests.

    Little Froggie

    Took you five years to realize you weren’t joking?!? (and how do you remember something you wrote five years ago?)


    I was looking at a few of my early threads.

    Catch Yourself makes a good point (though there might be things
    people would say in real life that aren’t allowed by the mods).


    Um, as far as i know i dont know any of the post-putters, we are to be anonymous no? hence i dont care what akuperma or gadolhadora or oomis really think, what pertains to me is what i see before me, unless i’m being stalked…wait… gotta go!

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