October 31, 2011 2:21 pm at 2:21 pm #600265shmoelMember
Can bad habits be changed after one is married?October 31, 2011 3:03 pm at 3:03 pm #822669gavra_at_workParticipant
Not without the willingness on the part of the spouse that something is wrong, which most shlubs can’t even dream of.October 31, 2011 3:16 pm at 3:16 pm #822670miritchkaMember
when you have a supportive spouse (spoken from experience)October 31, 2011 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #822671popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Can bad habits be changed after one is married?
I think once nuns are married, they aren’t nuns anymore, and are allowed to totally dump their bad or good habits.October 31, 2011 4:33 pm at 4:33 pm #822672chocandpatienceMember
popa: “I think once nuns are married, they aren’t nuns anymore, and are allowed to totally dump their bad or good habits. “
OP: are these own habits or that of a spouse?
own bad habits can always be changed, though it needs hard work.
as for trying to change a spouse – it’s a touchy topic.October 31, 2011 5:09 pm at 5:09 pm #822673BTGuyParticipant
Yes. One is obligated to; therefore, it can be done. It takes effort, but it also takes effort to deal with incompatibility due to bad habits. One way or the other the wise choice to deal with is the work on changing bad habits. Also, changing bad habits is not such a bad thing, either.October 31, 2011 5:16 pm at 5:16 pm #822674smartcookieMember
I fail to see what marriage has to do with changing a habit.
I don’t think it makes it simpler or more difficult. It’s just up to the person’s strong will to change.October 31, 2011 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm #822675thinkinghardMember
One can change his/her bad habits anytime in their life. A supportive spouse is a bonus, and if s/he isn’t supportive, one can still change.October 31, 2011 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #822676crazykanoiyParticipant
Why not? What does marrige have to do with changing habits? Do you think one remains the same person from age 25 until 120?October 31, 2011 6:00 pm at 6:00 pm #822677JotharMember
try Zelig Pliskin books. Very good for changing habits.October 31, 2011 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm #822678oot for lifeParticipant
one can change his own habits, one cannot change the habits of his spouseOctober 31, 2011 7:04 pm at 7:04 pm #822679YatzmichMember
From the question, it would seem like the OP is not married.October 31, 2011 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #822680aries2756Participant
Everyone and anyone can choose to change anything about themselves if they are sincere and honest about the commitment to make the change. But you can only change yourself you can’t change anyone else.October 31, 2011 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #822681popa_bar_abbaParticipant
There’s an old saying:
“You can change your habits, and you can change your wife. But you can’t change your wife’s habits.”October 31, 2011 7:36 pm at 7:36 pm #822682miritchkaMember
aries, i’ve missed you!October 31, 2011 8:05 pm at 8:05 pm #822683ShrekMember
depends on what you mean by bad habits. Rabbi Abraham Twerski says that “marriage is not a hospital”. He is refering to emotional problems, addictions, etc.October 31, 2011 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm #822684AstrixParticipant
You should change your bad habits b4 u get married.Im not talking about stupid little things…like serious bad habits..when you have a wife with you things are harder to change while u r trying to build a steady stable relationship.Im not married but i can imagine.October 31, 2011 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #822685JotharMember
Marriage my not be a “hospital”, but they call it it “commitment”- as in, you have to be committed to do it!October 31, 2011 9:53 pm at 9:53 pm #822686minyan galMember
One of my late father in law’s favorite sayings was ” a woman searches for a long time to find the perfect man and then spends the rest of her life trying to change him.” Unfortunately, his own son was unchangeable.
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