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Am I over-reacting (as my husband claims) when I complain about the safety issue at my son’s cheder? My son is 5, and his class of many boys is often left alone for all of recess. I also see the boys (all grades) barely watched during outdoor play (lunch and recess).
The boys also run down the halls at top speed. I have seen them playing soccer down the halls, chasing each other, etc.
I’ve complained to the Menahal about the lack of supervision, but nothing has improved.
Is this just normal cheder behavior, and I am still struggling with BT culture shock?
Safety is very important. Why not find a different Cheder?
BT and FFB both deserve safety.
HaKatan:
Wrong approach. Removing a child from a cheder because of unsafe conditions allows the problem to continue and expose countless other children to risk. The proper approach is to make contacts with those who have jurisdiction and “force” the yeshiva to take measures to make the environment safer. If this yeshiva is part of a chassidus that has a rebbe here, find someone to approach that rebbe with the issue. Perhaps gathering a group of parents, instead of just one parent alone may make greater impact. Having other askanim who carry soome clout make the connections with the hanhala, etc. You get the gist.
Taking your child out saves your child (unfortunately, that’s all we can do sometimes), but there must be a strong effort at correcting this irresponsibility.
I fail to comprehend why the term chasidish was interjected in the OP title, there ae many fine chasidishe yeshivas that have round the clock supervision, vs. some non chasidishe yeshivas who dont.
Unless the OP was looking for a fight, by making this a chasdishe problem, so that we can ( again ) witness an outpour of wrath against the terrible chasidim
Mogold
The sutuation by chassidish yeshivas is out of hand. I was recently parked in front of a chassidish yeshiva by recess and I had to pull my car out. I had to honk for 30 seconds to get the kids attention to get out of the way (of course the Rebbe there was too busy to say anything) and then as I am slowly driving down the block some kid tried to give me a heart attack by playing chicken and jumping in front of my car. I think there is a serious lack of supervision.
Downandin, this type of behavior is normal for boys — Chassidish or Litvish, Jewish or non-Jewish.
WIY
The great Ronald Reagen famously remarked “boys will be boys”
I’m not condoning this behaviour, however its ridiculous to consider this a chasidishe problem….
The OP writes of the personal impression that this is considered “normal” and addressing the usual channels has not met with success.
If there is no way to change that lack of safety then it seems that it’s time to get the kid out.
A trusted Rav would be a good person to speak to, but if it’s one who’s involved in this unnamed chassidus and is therefore biased in its favor, this will, of course, prevent an unbiased answer.
The Torah writes “Vinishmartem Miod LiNafshoseichem”. Hashem wants us all to stay safe, BE”H.
Boys will be boys.. but no supervision is unsafe and not normal imho!
downandin -“Is this just normal cheder behavior, and I am still struggling with BT culture shock?”
From what I’ve seen this is Normal Cheder behavior.
This doesn’t mean that this is “right” behavior.
It isn’t different anywhere else -so don’t change schools because of this reason.
Boys will be boys which is why they need adult supervision.
We did not see the facts, you did. We can’t evaluate from your words only, if you are overreacting or if there is a legitimate concern. Why don’t you ask a mom who raised a few boys to come along with you, next time you go there? Or if he can find the time, your husband? I don’t like the american way where children are kept on a leash until they are teenagers (and then obviously they rebel and do very stupid things and harm themselves and other people) and I have the feeling this is your first child and you are worried about something perfectly normal, but safety is serious business and if indeed there is a danger, things have to change. No one here can guess whether there is, or isn’t.
This is a pet peeve of mine! In the younger yeshivos (usually litvish), the Rabbeim know that they can’t leave the class alone! In the old fashioned yeshivos (usually chassidish) the boys are left alone by recess!
I don’t think that you will change the yeshiva. Pick your priorities. I don’t think that it’s the right thing to do, yet if there are adults in the building I don’t think that there is an issue with “Venishmartem.” A boy can run for help if there’s an emergency.
I am generally happy with the chinuch of the yeshiva that my son goes to and I swallow this issue.
If you feel strongly enough about this issue then change yeshivos. I don’t think that you will get the rebbes to lose their coffee break.
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