Checkout Line Busybodies

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  • #596684
    TheGoq
    Participant

    So im on line to check out and im behind someone i know and as im loading my goods on the belt he is staring and taking a mental inventory of what i am purchasing this happens to me so often and i find it to be very rude and an invasion of privacy.

    Maybe he is intrigued to see what an older single man buys for himself, maybe he is just nosy in general, now mind you im not talking about a casual glance he was mamash staring at each item i put on the belt, am i wrong? ive also had similar incidents in my apt building when im throwing out my trash if a frum person is there they will often take a glance to see what i am discarding.

    I dont want to make a mountain out of a molehill but this really gets on my nerves.

    #818851
    adorable
    Participant

    i am rolling that you take this so to heart. maybe the guy is spaced out or thinking about something and you think hes looking at your food when he is not. Sometimes I find myself spacing out at something and the person must think “what the heck is wrong with that girl why is she staring at my belt” but really im just spaced out

    #818852
    RedNails19
    Participant

    Unoversal Statement: The World (and the Jewish one) are all a bunch of busy/nosy bodies..i call them “Creepy Peepers”!!

    And what can we do about it? Nothing. We cant change the way people act…we can change the way we act thereby others seeing that change and following it!:)

    Good luck Goq!

    #818853
    123bubby
    Participant

    Some ppl r just plain NOSY!!!!!

    #818854
    TheGoq
    Participant

    he was not spaced out his eyes kept returning to my items

    #818855
    always here
    Participant

    I also thought maybe he had just spaced out & just happened to be looking in your direction/at your stuff; or, just something to do while being bored waiting on line.

    re: throwing out your trash– just something to look at?

    I tend to think that there is no malicious rhyme or reason to this.

    #818856
    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    It is nosy of them but it’s all out in the open. I say, why not have fun with it where you can. Pretend you’re talking on your cell phone. Interrupt your conversation (change topics) and say, “what’s THIS GUY staring at? People can’t mind their own business?” Perhaps they’ll get the message.

    ;

    #818857
    TheGoq
    Participant

    i dont think its malicious either

    #818858
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    By the way, Goq, what did you get?

    #818859
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    🙂

    #818860
    s2021
    Member

    I totally get u Goq, thats happened to me and I found it intrusive as well .. However I make an effort not to care what ppl think. (Life is so much funner that way.)

    Btw, I know a woman who is divorced. We were talking about starting to date and she told when she goes grocery shopping she cant help but notice the older guy with the bag of cholent beans, 2/3 snacks, and 4 challah rolls.. 🙂

    #818861
    TheGoq
    Participant

    lol ayc, i loaded up got milk,cereal,cheese,pretzels,seltzer,challah,cup of soup,hummus, egg salad, kugel, well those are the highlights

    #818862
    wanderingchana
    Participant

    Yeah, maybe he was thinking of a shidduch for you, LOL

    #818863
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    And whaddaya gonna be disposing of? 😉

    #818864
    TikkunHatzot
    Member

    That frustrates me too.

    One of my (Sephardic) friends hides his food from people, because he say’s he doesn’t want them casting the evil eye on it.

    Another kid that I went to school with used to just confront the people & say in the rudest possible way “Why don’t you just take a picture? It’ll last longer.”

    #818865
    adorable
    Participant

    the grocery i can understand but the garbage seems odd to me unless you are throwing out really important documents and you belong to the CIA or something

    #818866
    TheGoq
    Participant

    i take my trash out with my shopping cart and cartons and boxes are easily visible, as far as me being in the cia what do you know?

    #818867
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    or one can work for a shelter, gamacha, etc, and wish to recycle.

    One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

    #818868
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    He’s a store manager in disguise. He’s doing a visual inspection for restocking purposes.

    #818869
    oomis
    Participant

    Don’t get agita over this. Some people really are NOT doing what you think they are, but even if he was staring at your food, SO WHAT??? If he had COMMENTED negatively, I would have wanted to have a good answer for him.

    #818870
    oomis
    Participant

    What is way, way worse than what was described here, is when a clearly heavyset female is shopping and the cart is loaded with junk food, chocolate, chips, cookies, ice cream, etc. and someone looks at her food items with disdain and judgmentally. BTW, a guy getting the same items does not necessarily raise the same eyebrows.

    #818871
    TheGoq
    Participant

    i too was getting judged oomis

    #818872
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    Perhaps judged favorably, Goq. Your food purchases sound so geshmak, comin’ right over!

    #818873
    TheGoq
    Participant

    lol ayc could u bring the mustard? i forgot that

    #818874

    Does the mustard go in the cereal or on the kugel?

    #818875
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    Sure thing; just give me the address

    #818876
    TheGoq
    Participant

    on the pretzels of course!

    #818877

    You’re kidding me, right? Please say you are.

    #818878
    TheGoq
    Participant

    pretzels and honey mustard are ya kidding me? u gotta try it mii

    #818879
    kapusta
    Participant

    So next time you go shopping pick up a can of deodorant (or something like that) and if someone starts staring, buy it, and before leaving hand it to them and say “here, I bought this for you”. Kidding!!

    Btw, can I join the pretzel and mustard party? I’m so in the mood now.

    *kapusta*

    #818880

    Goq, thanks, but I think I’ll pass. Enjoy it though–if you get your mustard, that is.

    #818881
    goldenkint
    Member

    i always check out what other people buy becuz i never can think of something new or interesting to serve ,and so i wonder what they are going to make and would i like it too. i have very little imagination when it comes to shopping and cooking so i;m always looking for ideas. it really interests me. so sue me but i look in other people’s carts. not judging , just trying to work things out for myself. sometimes i get inspired and go buy something i’ve seen. it also helps when i ‘ve forgotten to make a shopping list. oh look, i need paper cups too

    #818882
    goldenkint
    Member

    by the way, inappropriate behavior like staring is sometimes a sign of early onset dementia or alzheimers, lo aleinu. its also a sign of poor upbringing. so maybe your neighbors are a bit loopy or were neglected as kids and never learnt proper manners. either way , don’t sweat it. you can always say to the starer, is there something you else you think i need with a big smile. they’ll either laugh or mumble something and look away, but you never know you might make a new friend

    #818883
    TheGoq
    Participant

    the acquaintance in front of me was a young man so i don’t think there is an issue of dementia, kapusta mi mustard es su mustard!

    I know its a stupid thing to get bothered by but that’s why they’re called peeves

    #818884
    goldenkint
    Member

    rude boy was probably musing about the seltzer, as in “my zeidy used to drink seltzer, and i miss my zeidy, or maybe it was the pretzels, did he think you were having a party, thats how my mind works when i see other peoples shopping choices. i also always wonder where the planes are headed when they pass oveerhead, some vacation venue, hmmm. and start to daydream about where i would like to go. enjoy your pet peeve, its yours and your entitled to it.

    #818885

    As goldenkint says, sometimes you just look at other people’s carts or stuff (because really, where are you going to look in a grocery?) and think about your own order and what you forgot and what you need, and you don’t realize that you are staring. Once someone asked me if I wanted an item from their cart, for that reason. And I said, “What? Oh, I’m so sorry, was I staring or something? And by the way, are those plates on sale? What aisle?”

    So they told me and watched my cart while I ran and got plates.

    Usually, though, it’s the person behind you who is staring at you, not the person ahead of you; they are generally busy with unloading and paying and remembering that they forgot the mustard. So it’s unusual that the person in front was staring. Why was he still there?

    #818886
    TheGoq
    Participant

    he was paying his bill and waiting for the checker to finish bagging

    #818887
    smartcookie
    Member

    Goq- you don’t owe money to that man by chance, and he’s mad that you’re spending his $$ on ice cream??!!

    I’m just trying to be creative…

    #818888
    s2021
    Member

    goq- I just hafta say- Im so excited to hear of someone else who eats pretzels with mustard!! I always thought it was only my fam! 🙂

    #818889
    TheGoq
    Participant

    love em s2021 honey mustard especially, cute cookie cute

    #818890
    TikkunHatzot
    Member

    “goq- I just hafta say- Im so excited to hear of someone else who eats pretzels with mustard!! I always thought it was only my fam! :)”

    s2021, are you talking about hard or soft pretzels?

    I’ve NEVER heard of people doing it with hard pretzels. But on the soft pretzels it’s very common in the US.

    #818891
    s2021
    Member

    Tikkun- Both!

    #818892
    TheGoq
    Participant

    yes hard pretzels work too a great dipping sauce

    #818893
    wanderingchana
    Participant

    Goq, you’re not in BP, are you?

    (Boro Park Stare)

    #818894
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    Got the mustard, Goq.

    You should have seen this person watching me to see which brand I would choose.

    #818895
    TheGoq
    Participant

    no im not in bp

    #818896
    adorable
    Participant

    if you lived in BP you would not have this question -you would be used to the stares already. I cannot bear to take my special brother around in BP- they just stare. I do not mean children i mean adults!

    #818897
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Reviving this for AYC thanks for the mustard.

    #818898
    Imaofthree
    Participant

    Why won’t you just go grocery shopping first thing in the morning when the store opens? You will have the store almost to yourself and no nosy people.

    #818899
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Perhaps he was checking out your cart to see if you were loading up on things that indicate you will be eating your shabbos and yom tov meals home, alone, and was thinking of extensing an invitation.

    Perhaps his Rav said to throw out his iopd, blackberry and cell phone, leaving him bored with little else to do, so he decided to play a game called spot everything that starts with the letter M in that guys cart.

    Perhaps he was really bored, but also very shy and wouldn’t strike up a conversation and was hoping you might give him shalom and strike up a conversation and instead was left wondering why you were looking at him with a negative expression on your face.

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