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    Is going into chinuch considered “working” ? If I am looking for a working guy, should I consider a guy who plans to stay in yeshiva till he gets smicha and then go into chinuch? If I get married before I finish college, we would not have a way to support ourselves, unless his parents are willing (my parents cannot support much).

    Also, is it common for people to say that they only want someone who plans to go to/is in college? (I am new to all this).


    going into chinuch is a category on its own. on the one hand, it’s not “learning full time” but it’s also not “working.” i always tell the shadchanim that i’m looking for someone who wants to learn as long as he possible can and if he has to work he’ll go into “klei kodesh.” i think chinuch is part of “klei kodesh,” that is, holy/spiritual work. i think most people lookingfor a “working” guy are looking more for s/o who’s going to be sitting in an office in front of a computer or a lawer or wtvr. i could be wrong but this is the impression i get.

    about support – Hashem yaazor. i could tell you countless stories of people who technically didn’t have any support but managed anyway. of course that doesn’t mean you should be irresponsible. do your hishtadlus. just saying – don’t worry too much.

    i’ve heard many people say that they want someone who wants to go to or is in college. it’s not so weird.

    hatzlacha rabba !!



    You can ask for whatever u like but be sincere of your wants and needs. dont request a type of person unless you want to live that lifestyle, or because all your friends are marrying this or that type. Nothing is wierd. but if I may make a suggestion, dont be so hung-up and stubborn about the type, if there is a fact or a detail different of what you had in mind look into it anyway..It just might work!

    One other thing to remember, if a person is sincere about learning and buildin a torah’dige home, he can do it even if he is working. Someone that means it sincerely will always find time for his shiur .


    I don’t understand. You are deciding whom you should consider based on societal norms? What do YOU want? Do YOU want someone in Chinuch? Who cares what other people say? Why are you asking peopleon YWN who you should consider for marriage? No offense, but if this is how you will decide then perhaps you should wait until you clarify what you want because when you’re married and if you’re not happy with the path you chose, all of us on on YWN wont be there! good luck!


    thank you ramateshkol.

    I was going to say the same thing, but much more caustically.

    Westcoast: you’ve got to be kidding.

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