Chizuk or Mussar?

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  • #2029548
    Maivin
    Participant

    Chizuk or Mussar?

    #2029727
    ujm
    Participant

    Both.

    #2029810
    Novelty
    Participant

    Depends on what a person is going through.
    When a person is feeling particularly frail, mussar might not be the best approach.
    Though I’m generally more a mussar person, I’ve a big need for chizuk right now, so I’m swinging that way.
    There’s a time and purpose for everything.

    #2029865
    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    Chizuk, we should always emphasize the positive, The Haflaah in Panim Yafos says uvocharto bachaim, chose life. Remembering the day of death should be the last resort,

    #2029885
    bob hample1
    Participant

    chizuk

    #2029927
    ujm
    Participant

    You want to throw mussar out the window for most people??

    #2029973
    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    We accomplish more through positive reinforcement. For ourselves it can be mussar but for others it should be chizuk.

    #2029993

    Im a little biased on this issue because of my upbringing, but in my community mussar is extremely frowned upon. You gotta be positive not negative. some times you gotta give mussar but even then it should be in a soft way while injecting chizuk into there.

    #2029999
    ujm
    Participant

    Reb Eliezer, who will give the mussar?

    #2030033

    ujm i can

    #2030045
    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    The holy Shlah explains the pasuk in Mishli אל תוכיח לץ פן ישנאך. when admonishing someone don’t call him a fool as he will hate you, הוכיח חכם ויאהבך, call him a chacham, the wise one and he will love you. Also the Rav Abarbanel says, לא תשא עליו חטא, don’t put the sin on him by labeling him. Maybe rather say that people do instead of you do.

    #2031078
    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    Also, don’t say one is bad but their actions or behavior which can be changed,

    #2031341
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    The Sefer Habris writes that דרך חיים תוכחת מוסר can be taken to mean that Mussar should be given by way of Derech Chaim. In other words, the right kind of Chizuk is the best Mussar. Rabbi Chaim Palagi quotes this piece and praised it.

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