November 17, 2021 12:35 pm at 12:35 pm #2029548MaivinParticipant
Chizuk or Mussar?November 17, 2021 1:08 pm at 1:08 pm #2029727
Both.November 17, 2021 2:14 pm at 2:14 pm #2029810NoveltyParticipant
Depends on what a person is going through.
When a person is feeling particularly frail, mussar might not be the best approach.
Though I’m generally more a mussar person, I’ve a big need for chizuk right now, so I’m swinging that way.
There’s a time and purpose for everything.November 17, 2021 3:32 pm at 3:32 pm #2029865
Chizuk, we should always emphasize the positive, The Haflaah in Panim Yafos says uvocharto bachaim, chose life. Remembering the day of death should be the last resort,November 17, 2021 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm #2029885bob hample1Participant
chizukNovember 17, 2021 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #2029927
You want to throw mussar out the window for most people??November 17, 2021 6:34 pm at 6:34 pm #2029973
We accomplish more through positive reinforcement. For ourselves it can be mussar but for others it should be chizuk.November 17, 2021 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #2029993ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤParticipant
Im a little biased on this issue because of my upbringing, but in my community mussar is extremely frowned upon. You gotta be positive not negative. some times you gotta give mussar but even then it should be in a soft way while injecting chizuk into there.November 17, 2021 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #2029999
Reb Eliezer, who will give the mussar?November 17, 2021 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #2030033ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤParticipant
ujm i canNovember 17, 2021 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #2030045
The holy Shlah explains the pasuk in Mishli אל תוכיח לץ פן ישנאך. when admonishing someone don’t call him a fool as he will hate you, הוכיח חכם ויאהבך, call him a chacham, the wise one and he will love you. Also the Rav Abarbanel says, לא תשא עליו חטא, don’t put the sin on him by labeling him. Maybe rather say that people do instead of you do.November 20, 2021 8:33 pm at 8:33 pm #2031078
Also, don’t say one is bad but their actions or behavior which can be changed,November 21, 2021 11:13 am at 11:13 am #2031341HaLeiViParticipant
The Sefer Habris writes that דרך חיים תוכחת מוסר can be taken to mean that Mussar should be given by way of Derech Chaim. In other words, the right kind of Chizuk is the best Mussar. Rabbi Chaim Palagi quotes this piece and praised it.
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