Chofetz Chaim guys

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  • #616574

    Shii
    Member

    I recently redt a girl to a great Chofetz Chaim boy and she said “I don’t go out with CC boys.” I never heard of this idea… Why are girl turned off to Chofetz Chaim boys? What is it about a CC boy that would cause many girls to have this opinion???

    #1108444

    Shii
    Member

    Please answer…

    #1108445

    CC boys are boys with a certain mentality just like ohr someach boys are also another different mentality & so are BMG boys another more serious mentality group of boys

    this girl does not fit to marry a CC boy she happens to be looking for a kind of boy other then the CC personality kind of boys

    Hatzlacha & hope she finds her zivug soon

    #1108446

    HaKatan
    Participant
    #1108447

    Joseph
    Participant

    Maybe she’s looking for a MO boy.

    #1108448

    flatbusher
    Participant

    Why not ask the girl herself? Some people have in mind the type of guy and yeshiva they want. It makes no sense to me, but it is what is. Some girls want only Lakewood guys. Maybe CC boys are more community minded and may end up in some farflung community. But surely you could have asked her at that moment.

    #1108449

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    you said you never heard this before, but you want to know why many girls have this opinion?

    If you asked someone of a different hashkofo to go out with him, why should she say yes? If you ask a cc girl about a lakewood boy, she may also say no. not sure what the question is.

    #1108450

    the plumber
    Member

    I would never have dated a cc guy either. But then i was redt to a guy from they’re lighter satellite yeshiva called Ma’ayan Hatorah. He’s working, going for his master’s, and sitting and learning 3 sdarim a day.

    I think this one might work, and would suggest it for that girl you were talking about.

    #1108451

    Joseph
    Participant

    If you ask a cc girl about a lakewood boy

    Um, what’s a “cc girl”?

    #1108452

    TheGoq
    Participant

    There a mindset among some (pay heed health i put a qualifier in again) that Lakewood is the be all end all and a boy from somewhere else just wont cut it.

    #1108453

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Some people are very into externals. I assume she’s also the type of person who thinks anyone who isn’t shuckling very hard is not having kavannah.

    #1108454

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Lakewood is the be all end all and a boy from somewhere else just wont cut it.

    That’s true, but the OP wanted to know why.

    It could just be this girl just wants to marry someone who’s out of the box.

    #1108455

    shebbesonian
    Participant

    Maybe she thinks the Mishna Berura is too machmir sometimes, so she would rather go out with an Aruch Hashulchan type of guy.

    #1108458

    Joseph
    Participant

    Which Bais Yaakovs do “Chofetz Chaim girls” go to?

    #1108459

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Which Bais Yaakovs do “Chofetz Chaim girls” go to?

    Same as everyone else.

    If your father is a rosh yeshiva you go to BJJ.

    If your father is out of town teaching 7th graded you go to Bnos Chava.

    #1108460

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    you said you never heard this before, but you want to know why many girls have this opinion?

    Excellent diyuk. Troll?

    #1108461

    Just Smile
    Participant

    “& so are BMG boys another more serious mentality group of boys”

    lol – I just had a father of a lakewood guy call me up asking if I thought a CC family would be ok if their daughter went out with his son. He said he knows CC guys are very serious and his son is a BMG guy who isn’t.

    Just thought it was funny

    #1108462

    technical21
    Participant

    A girl can have many reasons for not wanting to go out with a Chofetz Chaim boy. For one thing, it’s a very close-knit community (not just a yeshiva), and if you don’t want to be part of that community, it’s not a good idea to marry a Chofetz Chaim boy!

    Also, while Chofetz Chaim teaches middos and mussar in a way that has seemingly been forgotten by many other yeshivos, they allow certain things that girls in the mainstream yeshivish community probably won’t like.

    There are very valid, non-external reasons for not wanting to marry a Chofetz Chaim boy, just as there are valid reasons for not wanting to marry boys from other yeshivos.

    #1108463

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    Joseph wrote:

    If you ask a cc girl about a lakewood boy

    Um, what’s a “cc girl”?

    That’s a girl who lives by her father’s credit card

    #1108464

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    If she buys chocolate chip cookies with her father’s credit card, is she a CCCCC girl?

    What if someone adds her as a recipient to an email about buying chocolate chip cookies with a credit card?

    And let’s say her father is a rebbe in Chofetz Chaim and someone adds her as a recipient to an email about buying chocolate chip cookies with a credit card?

    #1108465

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    Is her favorite baseball player is a fat alcoholic on the Yankees?

    #1108466

    Hashemisreading
    Participant

    Whats a BMG girl?

    #1108467

    golfer
    Participant

    Thank you so much for clarifying, DY.

    Now I know exactly what to tell the shadchanim to find for my son.

    #1108468

    Francorachel3
    Participant

    Cholera Chaim in brooklyn would be considered more modern than some other yeshivas.

    #1108469

    the plumber
    Member

    Francorachel3

    Do you know anything about the yeshiva to be saying that?

    Other yeshivos in Brooklyn that one might consider yeshivish are pretty bad.

    Do you know anyone who went there or are you just hearing rumours from the neighbors who are upset about their new building?

    #1108470

    Mammele
    Participant

    Thank G-d Cholera Chaim only exists in our modern day “advanced” spell-checkers…

    #1108471

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    ok, really though, this is a stupid question. CC has different hashkafos than Chaim Berlin, or than BMG.

    It used to be that all the yeshivos had different hashkafos, but then all the other yeshivos except CC and chaim berlin weren’t able to keep their talmidim long term, and the talmidim all went to BMG, and then the yeshivos hired rebbeim from BMG and from other yeshivos, and so they all lost their hashkafos and replaced it all with BMG. And so the great yeshivos of Europe died, v’chaval al d’avdin.

    If a girl wants to have BMG hashkafos, of course she should not marry a CC guy.

    #1108472

    Joseph
    Participant

    Can you please define and explain the different (and differences of) hashkofos between 1) BMG 2) Chaim Berlin and 3) Chofetz Chaim (as apparently these are the only three surviving Litvish hashkofos, if I understood the point)?

    Presumably the above point excludes the Litvish yeshivos in Eretz Yisroel, which still have their unique prewar hashkofos. Do yeshivos like Mir in NY (or Torah Vodaas) not have non-BMG hashkofos?

    #1108473

    the plumber
    Member

    I can start you with bmg.

    They’re a makom Torah, not a yeshiva

    Ppl cone from all over to learn there.

    Very little hashkafa involved

    #1108474

    Back to the OP: Chofetz Chaim guys are awesome! They’re not into some of the materialism that plagues other yeshivas. Like they don’t have to wear Brooks Brothers, they don’t necessarily buy a diamond bracelet for their kallah and if they drive at all, it’s yeshivish cars. Most of the kollel families start out in what some call “the ghetto”, a bunch of garden apartments across the street from the Queens yeshiva that they’ve virtually taken over – don’t believe there are anymore goyim living there. But where they really shine is middos tovas in the Slabodka tradition. Some girls don’t want to marry CC guys because many are focused on going outside the NYC/Lakewood velts to start yeshivas and so forth. In that vein, CC guys are able to communicate better with those who are not yet frum, and that’s a quality that isn’t for every girl.

    #1108475

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Do yeshivos like Mir in NY (or Torah Vodaas) not have non-BMG hashkofos?

    You tell me. You’ve met any talmidim of mir in NY lately who stayed for more than a few years? And the people they’re hiring learned in mir, or learned elsewhere?

    Torah v’daas is not a yeshiva, and never was. It is an institution committed to producing baal habatim.

    #1108476

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I agree with the plumber. BMG is for older bochurim, whose hashkafos were already established in Telz, Chaim Berlin, Riverdale, Fallsburg, etc. and possibly further developed in Eretz Yisroel.

    Chofetz Chaim is a self contained system, from Mesivta through kollel.

    #1108477

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I agree with the plumber. BMG is for older bochurim, whose hashkafos were already established in Telz, Chaim Berlin, Riverdale, Fallsburg, etc. and possibly further developed in Eretz Yisroel.

    Ah, the old “2 years establishes you as a talmid for life” theory.

    #1108478

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    So you’re saying the CC way is better because there is a more consistent long term approach, which is a fair point.

    There are many talmidim who do keep a strong kesher to their rebbeim from younger b”m years, but I suppose not to the same degree as CC talmidim.

    I was simply observing that BMG is a melting pot, and it’s not really relevant to compare its “hashkafos” to CC’s.

    #1108479

    the plumber
    Member

    Dy, right on point They’re not comparable.

    #1108480

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    There are many talmidim who do keep a strong kesher to their rebbeim from younger b”m years, but I suppose not to the same degree as CC talmidim.

    Of course, a kesher with a rebbi is very important. And definitely 2 years of shimush and limud is enough to pick up the rebbi’s mesorah, so much so that you’ll want to leave and go learn somewhere else.

    If BMG isn’t teaching a mesorah, as you claim, then Rav Kotler’s yeshiva is also dead. v’chaval al d’avdin.

    #1108481

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    CC learns iyun especially slowly; the joke made when a guy leaves CC is that he wanted to ‘get out of the box’ (the one on every 2a…). They also seem to take mussar more seriously than a lot of yeshivos I know and it was originally founded by R’ Dovid Leibowitz, who had a kesher to slabodka, but I’m not sure if that affects their learning today.

    #1108482

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    It lives on to a large degree through his talmidim v’talmidei talmidov vch’, who have yeshivos for younger bochurim.

    #1108483

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    It lives on to a large degree through his talmidim v’talmidei talmidov vch’, who have yeshivos for younger bochurim.

    That’s fair. It’s really just the rest of the yeshivos which have become de-facto BMG feeders that are the tragedy.

    #1108484

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Most yeshivos are run by roshei yeshivah who fall into that category.

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