September 13, 2019 8:28 am at 8:28 am #1786339
Ive heard chosson cigarettes are given so that the chosson friends shouldnt put an ayin hara on the shidduch.
Why doesnt this apply to girls?
We could give out jewlery or smtng..whatever the equivalent of cigarettes are for girls..September 15, 2019 7:49 am at 7:49 am #1786638👑RebYidd23Participant
The equivalent is girl cigarettes.September 15, 2019 11:36 am at 11:36 am #1786729zahavasdadParticipant
giving anyone ciggarettes is wrong and according to many its against halacha to smoke themSeptember 15, 2019 7:08 pm at 7:08 pm #1786782ilovefishParticipant
smoke to your hearts content!September 15, 2019 7:08 pm at 7:08 pm #1786830HaKatanParticipant
This barbaric practice still exists even after the dangers of these carcinogen sticks are so well known, R”L L”A??
I’m sure the chosson could give out something of benefit to his friends to achieve (an even better or) same result, and I imagine the kallah could do the same if that were necessary.September 15, 2019 7:08 pm at 7:08 pm #1786867funnyboneParticipant
ZD, so what would be the equivalent of cigarettes for a girl?September 15, 2019 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1786869Rebbe YidParticipant
Smash them at tenaim or chuppah?September 15, 2019 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1786870yehudayonaParticipant
Virginia Slims.September 15, 2019 10:35 pm at 10:35 pm #1786902klugeryidParticipant
LipstickSeptember 15, 2019 11:13 pm at 11:13 pm #1786894
I’m not sure if this whole thread is serious or just one weird troll. If true, it would be the equivalent of the chosen’s friends wishing him to come down with lung cancer. This goiyeshe stupidity about casting an evil spell on the relationship should never warrant dealing in cigarettes.September 16, 2019 11:07 am at 11:07 am #1786986MammeleParticipant
Another common option is to distribute pens. The boys go back to Yeshiva after the engagement so that’s when it’s given. The kalla’s friends come to the engagement party and they often bring balloons. I’m talking about a Chasidishe vort, so maybe there’s less jealousy by the girls, as there’s no female shidduch crisis…September 16, 2019 12:53 pm at 12:53 pm #1787083September 16, 2019 3:29 pm at 3:29 pm #1787173ChaverParticipant
Lucy, great question!
Maybe because girls traditionally spent their time at home they didn’t have a group of friends therefore there is no Minhag to give girlfriends anything.September 17, 2019 10:35 am at 10:35 am #1787393rationalParticipant
Hard to decide which is more irrational (read silly): giving anyone cigarettes, or believing that the chosson’s friends have supernatural powers. Toss-up.September 17, 2019 10:35 am at 10:35 am #1787388Uncle BenParticipant
Most Chasanim give out candies. If a Kallah wants to give out something she can also give candies.September 17, 2019 10:35 am at 10:35 am #1787379
Chaver: Not sure what planet you’ve been living on. Even young women who did not pursue a graduate degree or career path, still had networks of friends from beis yaakov, seminary and in some cases collegel, family relationships, etc. Not clear why you have such a narrow view of the real world. As to why there was no minhag, I’ll leave it to our other minhag gurus to speculate.. If you’ve ever been to a frum chassanah, you’d know that the kalah often has more “friends” in attendance than the choson.September 17, 2019 10:35 am at 10:35 am #1787364
I didnt mean for this to become about the dangers of cigarettes. We can switch it to chosson candy if that makes eberyone here feel better. Im asking about the concept.
But fyi chosson cigarettes is still an accepted practice, and although i think smoking in general and regularly is terrible, i dont think this is the biggest dealSeptember 17, 2019 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #1787427TalmidchochomParticipant
What a sick topic to have a discussion aboutSeptember 18, 2019 2:01 am at 2:01 am #1787653Do the right thingParticipant
Live and let liveSeptember 18, 2019 9:06 pm at 9:06 pm #1787914BavoosteMentchParticipant
If only we can give boys a healthy, yiddishe outlet nowadays. The chevra are desperate to ban everything nowadays. Back in my days in yeshiva, and friend of mine tried to self harm, lo oleinu. A cigarettele here or there is not the problem.September 19, 2019 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm #1788285
“If only we can give boys a healthy, yiddishe outlet nowadays…A cigarettele here or there is not the problem”
You are so right…. we should give all the Yungerleit access to Weed, offer make sue we tap a keg of beer with Thursday night cholent and assure that all the shtenders in the beis medrash have USB ports for charging their “kosher” smartphones. That is the least we can do for the next generation of bnai torah.September 20, 2019 12:08 pm at 12:08 pm #1788391Eliyahu HanaviParticipant
lucy, you are not asking why guys smoke. you just want to know why girls don’t give stuff out too..
This is feminism . Let guys be guys and girls be girls!September 22, 2019 12:26 pm at 12:26 pm #1788587
Good grief. Im asking why were not worried about ayin hara by the girls. Trust me i dont need cigarettes
Nothing to do with feminismSeptember 22, 2019 12:28 pm at 12:28 pm #1788601bk613Participant
If only we can give boys a healthy, yiddishe outlet nowadays. Back in my days in yeshiva, and friend of mine tried to self harm, lo oleinu. A cigarettele here or there is not the problem.
And how many of your friends now suffer from COPD, asthma, or any of the dozens of cancers and medical conditions directly linked to smoking? I agree that bochurim need an outlet, how about something like playing basketball or jogging, or playing an instrument (or pretty much anything that doesn’t have horrific health consequences)
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