Chosson cigarettes

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  • #1786339

    Lucy
    Participant

    Ive heard chosson cigarettes are given so that the chosson friends shouldnt put an ayin hara on the shidduch.
    Why doesnt this apply to girls?
    We could give out jewlery or smtng..whatever the equivalent of cigarettes are for girls..

    #1786638

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    The equivalent is girl cigarettes.

    #1786729

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    giving anyone ciggarettes is wrong and according to many its against halacha to smoke them

    #1786782

    ilovefish
    Participant

    smoke to your hearts content!

    #1786830

    HaKatan
    Participant

    This barbaric practice still exists even after the dangers of these carcinogen sticks are so well known, R”L L”A??

    I’m sure the chosson could give out something of benefit to his friends to achieve (an even better or) same result, and I imagine the kallah could do the same if that were necessary.

    #1786867

    funnybone
    Participant

    ZD, so what would be the equivalent of cigarettes for a girl?

    #1786869

    Rebbe Yid
    Participant

    Smash them at tenaim or chuppah?

    #1786870

    yehudayona
    Participant

    Virginia Slims.

    #1786902

    klugeryid
    Participant

    Lipstick

    #1786894

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    I’m not sure if this whole thread is serious or just one weird troll. If true, it would be the equivalent of the chosen’s friends wishing him to come down with lung cancer. This goiyeshe stupidity about casting an evil spell on the relationship should never warrant dealing in cigarettes.

    #1786986

    Mammele
    Participant

    Another common option is to distribute pens. The boys go back to Yeshiva after the engagement so that’s when it’s given. The kalla’s friends come to the engagement party and they often bring balloons. I’m talking about a Chasidishe vort, so maybe there’s less jealousy by the girls, as there’s no female shidduch crisis…

    #1787083

    NKChossid612
    Participant

    @mammele major maskim

    #1787173

    Chaver
    Participant

    Lucy, great question!
    Maybe because girls traditionally spent their time at home they didn’t have a group of friends therefore there is no Minhag to give girlfriends anything.

    #1787393

    rational
    Participant

    Hard to decide which is more irrational (read silly): giving anyone cigarettes, or believing that the chosson’s friends have supernatural powers. Toss-up.

    #1787388

    Uncle Ben
    Participant

    Most Chasanim give out candies. If a Kallah wants to give out something she can also give candies.

    #1787379

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Chaver: Not sure what planet you’ve been living on. Even young women who did not pursue a graduate degree or career path, still had networks of friends from beis yaakov, seminary and in some cases collegel, family relationships, etc. Not clear why you have such a narrow view of the real world. As to why there was no minhag, I’ll leave it to our other minhag gurus to speculate.. If you’ve ever been to a frum chassanah, you’d know that the kalah often has more “friends” in attendance than the choson.

    #1787364

    Lucy
    Participant

    I didnt mean for this to become about the dangers of cigarettes. We can switch it to chosson candy if that makes eberyone here feel better. Im asking about the concept.
    But fyi chosson cigarettes is still an accepted practice, and although i think smoking in general and regularly is terrible, i dont think this is the biggest deal

    #1787427

    Talmidchochom
    Participant

    What a sick topic to have a discussion about

    #1787653

    Do the right thing
    Participant

    Live and let live

    #1787914

    BavoosteMentch
    Participant

    If only we can give boys a healthy, yiddishe outlet nowadays. The chevra are desperate to ban everything nowadays. Back in my days in yeshiva, and friend of mine tried to self harm, lo oleinu. A cigarettele here or there is not the problem.

    #1788285

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    “If only we can give boys a healthy, yiddishe outlet nowadays…A cigarettele here or there is not the problem”

    You are so right…. we should give all the Yungerleit access to Weed, offer make sue we tap a keg of beer with Thursday night cholent and assure that all the shtenders in the beis medrash have USB ports for charging their “kosher” smartphones. That is the least we can do for the next generation of bnai torah.

    #1788391

    Eliyahu Hanavi
    Participant

    lucy, you are not asking why guys smoke. you just want to know why girls don’t give stuff out too..
    This is feminism . Let guys be guys and girls be girls!

    #1788587

    Lucy
    Participant

    @eliyahu,
    Good grief. Im asking why were not worried about ayin hara by the girls. Trust me i dont need cigarettes
    Nothing to do with feminism

    #1788601

    bk613
    Participant

    If only we can give boys a healthy, yiddishe outlet nowadays. Back in my days in yeshiva, and friend of mine tried to self harm, lo oleinu. A cigarettele here or there is not the problem.
    And how many of your friends now suffer from COPD, asthma, or any of the dozens of cancers and medical conditions directly linked to smoking? I agree that bochurim need an outlet, how about something like playing basketball or jogging, or playing an instrument (or pretty much anything that doesn’t have horrific health consequences)

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