Coffee Room = Rabbi?
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- This topic has 21 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 6 months ago by haifagirl.
November 12, 2009 12:35 pm at 12:35 pm #590797whatshaichesMember
It seems like almost every day, someone else is asking a question in this forum, that by no means should be the source of guidance for them, people are asking what to do with their kids coming home in jeans to what to do about my husband going off the derech (even though it was closed for responses, my point is, this is where she went to for advice), these questions need to be brought to your Rov, not to a coffee room, how can one ask a question like that to people they do not really know to or very possibly are not quailified to answer these questions.
When it comes to cute stories, todays music, even shidduchim to recipes.
Does anyone else see this as a problem?November 12, 2009 2:02 pm at 2:02 pm #667938PhyllisMember
I ASSUME, many pple is these situations have already gone to seak proper guidence, however, are just curious what e/o else would do or think in their situation. They are probably asking more out of curiousity than out of guidence.November 12, 2009 2:05 pm at 2:05 pm #667939smartcookieMember
Of course its wrong. Why the question? Everyone knows that were not a board of educated professionals here.November 12, 2009 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm #667940jphoneMember
People like to stir the pot. I bet 99% of the “shaylos” asked here are nothing more than someones attempt to get people going.November 12, 2009 2:54 pm at 2:54 pm #667941mybatMember
Maybe some situations are too embarrassing for some people to ask people that they know for advice?November 12, 2009 4:22 pm at 4:22 pm #667942JewessMember
Some people don’t know who to ask certain questins to–or maybe they are embarassed to ask–so they ask here.
That said, I got some great answers here about Evolution. I also got a website for kosher signs.November 12, 2009 6:49 pm at 6:49 pm #667943
I think that many people turn here for advice bedavka because it is an anonymous forum. If a question is an halachic one, it should absolutely be addressed to the person’s Rov. BUT – not every single thing is an halachic issue, in spite of the numerous opinions to the contrary, and not every Rov is able to give credible advice in every matter (non-halachic). If someone is having a problem with a child, maybe someone ELSE on this forum experienced something similar and has a good aitzah that worked for them. Believe it or not, there are some very wise people in the CR, and whether or not you hashkafically see eye to eye, there is a fountain of great advice from which to draw. And I repeat, lest there be any misunderstanding – for halachic problems ALWAYS check with you rov.November 12, 2009 8:57 pm at 8:57 pm #667944
Even in the case of halachah, there could be people who are new to frumkeit and have not yet established a relationship with a rav. People who did not grow up around rabbis are frequently intimidated.November 12, 2009 9:13 pm at 9:13 pm #667945
I come here for the entertainment, and for the impetus to be me’ayein in topics. But yes, the coffee room is not a rabbi, it’s an entertainment forum with people getting to pretend to be rabbis. It also gives people the ability to vent. keeps them from wasting ink in the yated readers write, which is just as silly but you can read it on shabbos.November 12, 2009 9:47 pm at 9:47 pm #667946ronrsrMember
It’s a perfectly normal impulse to ask a neighbor, friend, relative, correspondent,etc., what they think about a topic.
If you did it face-to-face, it would be called normal conversation.November 15, 2009 11:05 am at 11:05 am #667947lesschumrasParticipant
If they are new to frumkeit, this is not the site for them.November 15, 2009 5:23 pm at 5:23 pm #667948komaMember
coffee room=bais medrash of de’os. And there is no bais medrash w/o a chiddush. And the anonymity can be covering for some professionals or even a rov, or someone over the age of etza and so gifted. It is also a safe haven in which, sometimes, an intellectual conversation can emerge, but takeh, some topics do not belong.November 15, 2009 5:53 pm at 5:53 pm #667949
lesschumras, you may be right. But we don’t have a bouncer checking IDs at the door.November 16, 2009 12:10 am at 12:10 am #667950pookieMember
I THINK YESHIVA WORLD SHOULD HAVE A ”ASK A RABBI” FEATURE.November 16, 2009 2:58 pm at 2:58 pm #667951
You can’t really have that, Pookie, because everyone’s own poseik might pasken differently from this Rabbi, so WHOSE hashkofa would be acceptable to all? If you mean to have an Ask the Rabbi feature for topics of general and non-disputable interest, then that would be very interesting.
I also do not necessarily agree that this site is not good for a person new to frumkeit. I only think that the potential for harm lies in the judgmentalism that crops up from time to time, which might make such a person feel uncomfortable in expressing an honest opinion, out of fear of being called an am haaretz or worse. I think a spirited exchange of ideas among frum people, is a good thing for the most part. And the perspective of a newly-frum person can be a terrific mirror for us all.November 16, 2009 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #667952
An “ask the rabbi” would also give the mistaken impression that this place is fully glatt koshe lefi kol hadei’os.November 16, 2009 9:53 pm at 9:53 pm #667953
The Yated a few weeks ago had an unfortunate vignette with Rav Ruderman ZT”L. Every Friday he would have a line of women asking him chicken shailos. One woman kept showing him good chickens, and he would declare them kosher. One week he finally asked her, “The chickens you show me have no shailos on them. Why do you bring them in?” She answered, “Someone told me A&P chickens aren’t kosher. I feel better serving them after you tell me they’re kosher”.
A rabbinical answer is only as good as his knowledge of the real question.November 17, 2009 12:07 am at 12:07 am #667954
Jothar, did that really HAPPEN??????? OY! That reminds me of a joke I heard (though what you told over is not funny), that a stranger came to a rabbi and told him he would give him a really huge donation to the shul if the rabbi would make him a Kohein. The rabbi explained that he couldn’t do this, but the man kept persisting. Finally the rabbi asked him why was it so important for him to be a kohein. the man replied, “My father’s father was a Kohein and my father was a kohein. So I want to be a Kohein, too!”November 17, 2009 5:03 am at 5:03 am #667955
It was quoted by someone from Baltimore, and it was said at the Kashrus conference.November 17, 2009 5:33 am at 5:33 am #667956shaatraMember
Oomis: haha!!November 17, 2009 10:23 am at 10:23 am #667957Mrs. BeautifulMember
Jothar, what are A&P chickens?November 17, 2009 12:49 pm at 12:49 pm #667958
Treif chickens from A&P (it’s a supermarket).
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